Hey Baby, What’s Your Numba? March 4, 2010
Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.Tags: American Idol
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Oh American Idol, what a twisted game you and I play. There are so many things I love about the show. Really, I do. But there are also so many things I
AH!!! GHOST!!!!
Okay, now then, as I was saying. There are many things I dislike about the show. Randy Jackson. Poor song choices. The fact that Angela Martin isn’t in the top 24. Whatever, the list goes on and on. But there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, that I hate more in the show…EVEN more than Randy Jackson…nothing I hate more…than THIS:
Nooo. Not Lacey Brown (although that bitch is UP there on the hate list). I hate…THE NUMBERS.
“If you want to vote for Alex Lambert, call 1-866-Idols 04.” FOUR FOUR FOUR!!!!!! Let me put up four fingers so you’ll know what number to call!!!!
Wait Katie….what number are you? I’m sorry…I…Er…Oh…Uh…OH YEAH – FOUR!!!!
If you think the numbers are a ‘white’ thing because white people are tragically unhip…well you’re wrong. Black people do it too. Annoying black people like
Jermaine Sellers who I am just sooooooooo ready to see go home…
and funky outfitted black people like Michelle
who was rocking some crazy leather jacket with a dress and jeans and gloves and it was all kinda messy….but also kinda fabulous. Yeah, I said fabulous. Get over it.
It’s a good thing Tim Urban has a frickin AMAZING body
(I mean, that shit just ain’t right….I’d totally hit it)
because last night he did a REALLY annoying show of the fingers.
Any time someone does the whole “oh, how many fingers do I hold up, oh, THIS many fingers! I can add!” surprised thing, they get an automatic “I hate you” from mah ass. The tight t shirt was a step in the right direction for Tim though…
Unfortunately even my favorites do the finger thing. Like Meth teeth
who was so high she ended up throwing the number 2 up when….bitch you know you’re number 1. Benji altered me to the fact that her first name is Crystal…and I call her meth teeth….CRYSTAL METH!! Oh man. Loved it.
And then we have my other favorite, Haeley, who also is a fan of the numbers game.
Look, I know that everyone is hatin’ on Haeley. Wait…isn’t that a SH@Z@M song? Oh no…that’s “Don’t Hate on Haiti,” nevermind….anyway. I get it that sometimes homegirl hits a bum note. I get that she smiles a lot. I get that she done got a lot of gums. But dudes – think about if Taylor Swift was on American Idol. She SUCKS! She can’t sing live to SAVE HER LIFE. I have a feeling that everyone would be hating on Taylor JUST as much as they’re hating on Haeley. Now I can hear you all already – “Haeley Vaughn is NO Taylor Swift” and I get that. But I guarantee you Haeley would kick Taylor’s ass in a sing-off, even with those gums.
And that’s all I gotsta say about that. So who’s going home? I HAVE to do better this week in my Idol pool otherwise heads will roll. Down with Lacey Brown!!
Guess how many fingers I’m holding up!
I agree.. it’s the lamest thing ever. As if I’m going to have an image in my mind of how many fingers you’re holding up so that I’ll know what number to dial. Duh… what happens next week when you’re a new number and I have the wrong image in my head? Oops, I just called the wrong number and you got voted off. Guess you shouldn’t have been holding up fingers, eh?
I think you’re forgetting that the majority of the AI demographic might not be able to count to ten. I mean, that could be a challenge for many a young ethnic teen, and I’m sure all the fly-over states appreciate the extra help. So cut the contestants a little slack, eh?
Also, Haely sucks. The lisp, the gums, the wide open spaces between each and every tooth. The inability to hit a note that doesn’t make me think of Ant’s dead cats. Just. Boo. She’s my Danny Gokey of season 9, except I hate more than just her face.
Ah snap.