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Weekend Recap June 30, 2008

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Ah, Monday. I’m so happy to see her again. Really, we’re besties. Lovers almost. Okay, that’s a lie. In actuality it’s a love/hate relationship. Minus the love. BFF left for Italy last night and I find that I’m a little lost without knowing that he’s at his desk around the corner. He’ll be gone for two weeks and it brings me a little solace knowing that he is having the best time of his life. I was able to see his sister Faith on Saturday and that was fantastic–hadn’t seen her since I moved last June!

Did you hear? It was Pride this weekend.

Friday night, BFF and I went to dinner with Page Six–fun times. I don’t know when the last time the three of us were together. Saturday I worked out still drunk, went to brunch, then ate almost a pound of candy. I seriously have a problem. Went out with David G to some parties in HK and Chelsea, including the most fantastic roof party ever. It was this absolutely gorgeous penthouse and even though there were about a hundred people at this party, it couldn’t have been a better moment. Hit it off with someone and we ended up walking forty blocks and sharing pizza at 3 in the morning. Why do all the guys I connect with have to life hundreds of miles away? What is this new trend that’s happening…cause I’m not a fan.

Went to the parade Sunday with Ben Rosen and some of his friends. Left about halfway into it. Listen, there’s only so many drag queens you can look at before you get bored. I also thought it was funny how many countries/states/towns were represented. Seriously, it was like “Homos of Peru.” “Homos of South Jersey.” “Homos of North Jersey.” “Homos of West Jersey.” “Homos of Antarctica.” “Homos of Peru.” Yes, again. Homos of Peru came by about four different times, I was quite confused. I decided that I would much rather have Popsicles and sit on my couch than be surrounded by hundreds of strangers so I went home. Later,while heading down to Ant Rapp’s, I noticed the scariest sight I’ve ever seen.

A clown on the Subway. A clown. A MFing CLOWN. There is nothing scarier. The worst part is that the clown looked even scarier than the one in this picture. I sat in horror for at least three stops.

As many of you know, my brother writes for the Grand Junction Sentinel, Grand Junction Colorado’s premiere newspaper. He did a feature on his “audition” for the Navy SEALS and it made me laugh so I thought you might enjoy it as well.


I could have beaten him in half of those events. Drunk.

I love Mia Michaels June 27, 2008

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Somewhere Out There….. June 26, 2008

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I was going through some old pictures today and found these gems.

I’d like to give a little shout out to Crazy, of the duo Crazy and her mom. Take a look at the outfit below:

And now take a look at the outfit worn by Crazy at my going away party last May. Pay no attention to the fact that I’m about fifteen pounds heavier.

It’s really so brilliant. I love it mucho mucho. I haven’t been able to talk with Crazy much lately as our lives have both been…well…crazy. I miss her very much.

Another person I miss (I always miss him!) is DC Doug. I’d like to point out his fantastic “costume” at my “favorite things” going away party last year.

No. I don’t like clowns. That’s what makes his costume “funny” apparently. Anyway, I know they are old pictures but I think they’re kind of brilliant so I decided to share. My gift to you. I may be hundreds (or thousands, I’m not really sure how the distance thing works) of miles away from these two and I may be meeting new people every now and but they will always hold a very special place in my heart.

Dear Salad Lady…. June 26, 2008

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Dear Lady in the cafeteria at work that makes my Salads,

I’ve missed you so much! Where were you all week? Last week they had that yucky Cobb salad and so I didn’t see you at all then and then so far this week that Jonathan guy has been making the salads. He just doesn’t put any love into the salad like you do. The way you care about each salad is amazing. I love how you give me as many toppings as I want–Jonathan will only give me five and I’m sorry but cheese should not be considered a topping. You even know that I want more chicken then I do cheese and I want more apples than I do beans and I want more asparagus than I do peas. You’re just fantastic. But seriously homegirl, where are the snap peas? It’s like you only have them Mondays and then you’re out all week long. I really like the snap peas and it would make me very happy if you could make sure they’re stocked all week. Keep up the good work–I love you salad lady!


This one time….in Central Park…. June 25, 2008

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Last night I had one of those perfect New York nights that people hear about in movies. Kido, Matty Brand, Kristina, Yaz and some of our other NY girls decided to go to Central Park and listen to the New York Philharmonic play. I thought maybe there would be a few hundred people and there was something insane like hundreds of thousands of people. Or another large number. the weather was absolutely perfect–warm (until the sun went down), not humid, and sunny. We had wine, fruit, cheese, crackers, veges, dip, M&M’s…..it was quite the spread. I had eaten dinner before I came but sure enough if I didn’t dig in…and keep digging in…and digging in some more….it was just all so good!

Someone tipped over the wine and it fell on a paper plate so the paper plate filled with wine. I was not about to let that wine go to waste so I made Yazzi drink it off the plate. There’s something very important about this picture though. Do you see that thing on my cheek? Here–look closer.

Do you see that? That, ladies and gentleman, is a dimple. A real, bonafide dimple. All my life I’ve had a little wrinkle there and everyone would say “oh, that’s not a dimple.” My sister has the most amazing dimples and I’ve always been so jealous. Well look right there—that fold of skin….well….it could just be a fold of skin. It could also be a DIMPLE!! I’m officially attractive.

The darling Kristina and Yazzi. You can see the New York skyline in the background.

One of the girls’ friends was trying to find us (seriously, there were THAT many people) and since it was dark we decided to fore go the old fashioned lighters and jump into the 21st century. Or the 20th. Which century are we in again? Also, I have no idea what Kido is doing in this picture. She said that she was yawning. I like to pretend that she was just REALLY excited about the song the Philharmonic was playing.

I don’t remember what Yazzi and I were doing here. All I can see is the hummus, cookies, and M&M wrappers at my feet. Oh I’m so ashamed…..

There were fireworks after but I decided to bounce and beat the traffic that was sure to happen. I walked away from the park listening to the Philharmonic playing Jimi Hendrix’s “Purple Haze” as their encore (I would have much rather heard Purple Rain) and fireworks exploding overhead. It was totally a magical moment. I’m really happy I went to this event and will not forget it any time soon!

More Ohio Goodness June 24, 2008

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McPat sent over some more Ohio pictures and who am I to keep them all to myself?!

The first night of Pat and Justine’s visit. I had many large glasses of wine so we went from this….to….

I don’t know about you but I don’t see Brian or Pat standing there…all I see is…..


and this.

Seriously. Don’t make us angry. Look at Pat’s arms….motherfucka could crush me.

The four boys at Melissa’s graduation party. Don’t let Julian’s innocent face lead you astray…before, during, and after this picture he was stealing M & M’s from the bowl to his right.

I can’t wait until Justine is holding a half-Asian half Patrick one of those. I’m getting really excited to be cool Uncle Brian. Hurry up already you two!

Wait, how did that get in there? She isn’t part of me family….or is she?

Party people in da house.

Two of my favorite things. My two dogs–one dog, one dawg.

I love that Cousin Tragedy always has a beer in her hand. She truly is a Bahr!

I beleive this was during my performance of “My Heart Will Go On” in which I obtained 100% accuracy on American Idol karaoke. Yes, I rock.

I’m unshowered and not ready for the picture, but here’s a picture with the fam. Seriously. Next time give me a little notice people!

My glamour shot with Josie. Hot damn I love that dog. She would only sit with me and Patrick for pictures. Whenever Melissa would sit down with her for a picture she’d walk away which isn’t very nice of her, but it sure is damn funny!

Just another Manic…. June 23, 2008

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Happy Monday everyone. And by “Happy Monday” I do mean “ugh…..Monday.” It was certainly an interesting and trying weekend emotionally. I won’t go into details but as many of you know things aren’t great with a certain BFF. I did something in which I thought I was thinking about him but in actuality I was thinking only about myself. I became a hypocrite, and an unloyal hypocrite at that. And coming from someone who preaches about loyalty and hates hypocrisicm, you can understand why I’m embarrassed, ashamed, and upset with myself. He and I haven’t been talking the past few days and it is absolutely killing me. He said I need to learn how to be a better friend and he’s right–I guess I never knew I was being a bad friend. So with that all going on I’m understandably feeling very alone and have been pretty torn up about the situation. Sad face.
Friday I didn’t do much. Came home and started to redo my room, which is a process. I’ve had posters and pictures on my walls for years–seriously, since I was like 8 years old. The items on my wall have evolved over the years but Friday night I started to take them down. It’s time to grow up and so I’m starting with my room. I’m not going to completely disappear but I need to figure out a way to express myself in my room in a more adult way. So Friday I got pizza and ice cream (can ya tell I’m depressed?) and worked on that a little bit. Saturday I got up, went to the gym, then hung out with Page Six. It was nice to see him–we hadn’t hung out in forever. We got some lunch and went to see “Get Smart.”

The movie was really funny and I liked it a lot. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the show so some of the jokes went over my head but that didn’t take away from my enjoyment. Saturday night Page Six and I crossed water to hang out with Kido, Bridge and Matty Matt. I don’t know what it is about those guys, but I have SUCH a good time with them. Seriously, it’s insane. Whenever we get together it’s like all my worries fade away and I just enjoy myself. We hung out at their place for a while then went to a bar on the LES called Happy Endings. Many adventures ensued, including mean cabbies, losing Bridget’s contact and finding it on the floor of the bar, and stealing cookies from a neighboring group (who brings Tupperware into a bar? I mean seriously).

After a cab ride home I was walking to get pizza and as I turned onto ninth avenue I saw someone that I recognized. It was Tom Vize, from “My Life on the D List.” Then all of a sudden, I noticed who was walking next to him–Kathy Griffin! I was like “Woah, you’re Tom! Hey! You’re Kathy Griffin!” Kathy said “of course Tom gets noticed first.” Homegirl looked TORN UP. She had her glasses on, hair was a hot mess, she was in sweatpants. I know it was 2:30 in the morning, but still. I walked with them for two blocks and (drunkenly) told her my favorite parts of last Thursday’s episode and how I saw her in February and how I thought it was so weird she was walking on the streets of New York at 2:30 in the morning. Then I said “well I’m going to be a fat girl and go get some pizza” and walked off. Gotta love random celebrity sightings!

Random story time – On Friday when I was walking home from work, I was clearly in a very bad mood. I saw this kid across the street from me with an Abercrombie shirt on.

This shirt on, as a matter of fact. I don’t know why, but I was SO ANNOYED he was wearing that kind of a shirt. Like, I was just visibly pissed off that he wore a shirt with a giant FITCH on it. So as I passed him in the crosswalk, I took off my sunglasses, stared him in the face, and said “Hey, where’s your shirt from?” Then I put my sunglasses back on and kept walking. See? Even depressed I’m hilarious! The kicker in the story is that I was wearing an Abercrombie dress shirt. A hypocrite, again, but at least this time I was a funny hypocrite.

Didn’t do much of anything Sunday. Woke up super hungover, got McDonalds (bad!) watched a whole lot of tv, made a fanTASTIC dinner (with this black bean, onion, corn, and lime goulash that BFF taught me to make) and watched more tv. All in all, a very unproductive day. Something odd that did happen yesterday though…on my way to the market, I noticed a bunch of people standing around this guy. When I looked closer I saw it was a guy with a cat on a leash…and the cat was standing on his head. Don’t believe me?

I know it’s blurry but it wasn’t taken by me-I just happened to find the picture online. I could not believe that the cat would stay on this guys head. I couldn’t get my cats to do that in a million, trillion years. Or they would stay on my head, but then they’d pee on it. Such is my life.

Good luck with your week everyone!

Jamie Lynn Named her Baby after me June 19, 2008

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Jamie Lynn Spears had her baby, ya’ll!!

And what did she name it? Maddie Briann. That’s right, Briann. Which, if read correctly, should read Brian. Jamie Lynn and I are like THIS ya’ll!

In other news, I received the greatest present ever today from Jeremiah and I would like to share it with you. Now, it’s a fantastic present so you need to brace yourself. Are you ready? Are you sitting down? Here you go…

There, now don’t you feel better?

Last night BFF and I went over to Hot Toddy’s house and had a little pasta dinner and wine tasting. It was a freakin blast!!! Kiwi Katie, Shannon, Ali, Kayla, Jarrad, Nick, Mark, etc. etc. were there and it was nice to be around a lot of people. We drank our faces off and then watched “So You Think You Can Dance” which, note to self, is hard to do with 20 people in the room. Another note to self: Don’t mix wine and tequila. I woke up this morning feeling like a power drill was trying to come out of my forehead. I woke up an hour before my alarm was supposed to go off, put a pillow over my head, and woke up again TEN MINUTES before I was supposed to be to work. Both of my alarms were going off like crazy, and had been for fifty minutes, so that will give you some indication what kind of sleeper I am. I made it to work in reasonable time though, so all is well.

BFF and I are supposed to be going to this speaking thing by Ellen DeGeneres’ mom tonight. I have no idea what it really entails but it could be a fun time! Happy Thursday everyone, we’re almost to the weekend!!

If You’ve Ever Been in High School Theater…. June 18, 2008

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…then you’ll love this.

Favorites include…

“Best Performance in a pre-show prayer circle.”
“Best Choreography Including an Obese Performer.”
“Most exaggerated Limp”

Do yourself a favor and check it out!

High School Tony Awards Honor Nation’s Biggest Drama Club Nerds

Separated at Birth June 17, 2008

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This picture makes me laugh. Hard.