Top 20 Moments of 2008 December 31, 2008
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#20. September 26, 2008 – Alanis Morissette Concert at Radio City Music Hall

Yes, I went by myself. And yes, I pretty much knew the setlist going in. But it had been years since I’d seen a full length Alanis concert and I was so stoked to see her at an amazing venue. Alanis popped my concert cherry back in ’98 and also popped my Radio City Music Hall cherry. She’s just a little cherry popper, she is!
#19. September 20, 2008 – Scott Evans’ Birthday Scavenger Hunt
Scott’s birthday was just a fantastic group of people, a fun activity, and introduced me to some of my favorite people in New York. Our team was, obviously, the best. We all got so into it and had such a fun time. Go Team Yellow!!!!
#18 July 17, 2008 – [title of show] Opening Night
If you had told me a year ago that I would be attending the opening night of a Broadway musical with Anthony Rapp, I would have said you were crazy. Possibly “fruckin‘ crazy.” Cut to me attending the opening night of a Broadway musical with Anthony Rapp and my mind explodes a little bit. It was just a fantastic night full of star sightings, great theater, and surrealness. I also loved that I was able to sneak Spencer in for a bit of the afterparty. It was really fun pointing and whispering with him.
#17. August 30, 2008 – Labor Day in CT
Any opportunity I have to dress up, I’ve discovered, is a great one. This night was filled with cute boys, free drinks, and fun. Page Six got me in, I was able to hang out with my boys, and I looked fantastic. Such a contrast from the year prior!!
Some of the best food I have EVER tasted occurred at this special Thanksgiving. Since I wasn’t able to go home, I was fortunate enough to spend Turkey Day with some of my dearest loves. Tons of booze, tons of Wii, and three naps equals a successful Spanksgiving ’08!!
While not lucky enough to attend the actual premiere of the movie (Danny DeVito broke up with me three months too early), Spenc and I did grab opening night tickets. I grabbed my Sour Patch Kids, and we settled into our seats an hour and a half before the movie started. Upon that first viewing, the movie was everything I wanted it to be. Multiple viewings later I am able to spot many flaws (damn you, Jennifer Hudson!) but I still feel like the movie captures the essence and magic of the TV Show. Walking home from that movie, on the warm May night at 3am, was one of my favorite moments ever!
Would have ever thought that a Pig, Duct Taped booths, bad music, and cheap beer could equal so many good times?!?!
There was a time back in April when Spencer and I would go out practically every Friday night. This one particular time, we were in a cab coming back uptown from the LES. It was 3am, we had been drinking heavily, and were looking forward to hitting Ray’s Pizza for a little late night snack. For whatever reason, the one of us slapped the other. Then we started cracking up. Then I slapped him. We cracked up. He slapped me. Cracked up. The entire cab ride we were just slapping each other as hard as we could and then laughing harder then I’ve ever laughed.
#11. November 18 – 20, 2008 – Visit to Utah
I said it at the time and I stick with my original statement – it truly was a “magical New York movie moment.” The stars all aligned this night. It was great weather, I was with great friends, we had great food ( I remember I could NOT stop eating) and we were at a really cool event. I really loved my life that night!

#9. November 21, 2008 – Birthday Karaoke Party


#6. August 24, 2008 – Playing X-Men: Legends with Hubby and Scott D
Nerdy? Sure. Time waster? Perhaps. More fun than you can shake a stick at? You bet your ass!!!! I remember this day so clearly, and it was SO MUCH FUN! I was staying at Ant Rapp’s the night before and went over to Hubby’s apartment later in the day to hang out. We started playing X-Men: Legends and 8 hours later I find myself going home. Scott D came over to join us and the three of us were drinking, eating, laughing, and playing an X-Men video game. SUCH a fun time!!
#3 April 11 – 13/ May 30 – June 1 – DC DOUG!!!
Even though Doug has YET to come to New York to vist me and Spencer, I’ve made the trek down there twice and Spencer has made it down once. And both times were amazing, fun, and wonderful. Doug has himself a great little set up down there in Washington DC and it was really cool see his work, see where he grocery shops, see where he hangs out. I miss Doug something fierce and even though he may possibly NEVER COME TO NEW YORK, my love for him shall never face and my visits down to DC shall continue.
This girl is dear to my heart. We asked this lady to take our picture and her daughter jumped in the picture. The mom was all “Shaquandalisha, get out of the picture!” but we were happy to have her join us. Please note the the blue hair and the amazing smile. Sigh. I love her.
# 2. February, July, October – Visits to New York!



Honorable Mention of the Year: Michael Phelps
So wow, what a year. Resolutions? None that I haven’t already been working on. Simplifying my life and cutting out the drama. Oh, and getting back into my gym routine. I’ve seriously been slacking the past few months. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go get Chipotle and sit on my couch before I go out and party.
I Never Thought This Day Would Come December 31, 2008
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You all know what this means, don’t you? He’s 18!!! Legal!!! I’m coming David, wait for me! Here’s to hoping that Jeremiah doesn’t get there first! Happy Belated Birthday, David!
Spotted…. December 25, 2008
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Spotted at Christmas Eve mass in Ohio…..
Really, really off-key singers who couldn’t get through “Silent Night” if their lives depended on it.
Random timpani’s going off during multiple songs.
A guy in front of me’s ass, which WOULD. NOT. QUIT.
My iPhone going off during the homily.
One impeccably dress man and his sister walking in late. Hey, I have to make an entrance what can I say?
Merry Christmas everyone!!!!
My Grown Up Christmas List December 23, 2008
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Frightening.
Arguably the best Christmas song EVER, this song holds a very special in my heart. It is my mom’s favorite Christmas song and whenever it plays on the annual Christmas cd, she drops whatever she’s doing and does the most adorable (okay, awkward and rhythm-less) dance in the living room. Picture Elaine, from Seinfeld’s dance.
BarbBahr knows how to get down! Makes me think of her every time I hear the song.

If you’re looking for gifts to give me, I want bow ties. I’ve decided that I’m going to bring the bow tie back. “Back where?” said Maria Conchita Alonzo. “Just back,” I replied. “As I’m bringing Sexy Back, I will also bring back the bow tie.” It’s classic, it’s a little nerdy, it’s ’09.
Who remembers Popples?! When I was a kid I had an Orange one….but don’t remember his (or her) name. I would carry that thing with me everywhere! I wonder where he (or she) went. While completely irrelevant to Christmas, my popple is one of my favorite memories of the past.
Every Christmas Eve, we can’t go to bed until we read this book. Each year we would take turns reading it but of course because I liked being theatrical, I would also want to read it. Some years I would be funny, the year I was learning dialects in school I read it in a British accent, it always varied. When Pat and Melissa learned to read, I had to share, which was a bummer. My favorite memory of this book was a year we were living in Michigan and my grandparents were visiting for the holidays. My grandfather is one of the greatest people I know and I remember him reading this book vividly. He was so funny (in the way only grandpa’s can be) and we were all on the edge of our seats to see what joke he would make next while reading it. I will happily give up my turn any year to have Grandpa read the book.
I would like abs this year. It almost happened during Phelps time, but then I started eating again. As ’09 is the year of the bow tie, it will also be the year of the ab–mark my words.
Really bad for you. Kind of expensive. Gross when you think about what it is. But DELICIOUS! The only thing I could be describing is EGG NOG! Okay…I could really be describing many, many things. But egg nog also works in that category. When I was little my mom would only buy one carton the entire Christmas season, saying it was too expensive. And she done be right! How in the world can someone charge five bucks for that shit? Crazy. Note to all my fat girls out there—vanilla bean ice cream. Chocolate sauce. Egg Nog on top? Delicious.
When I was a kid, I loved Thundercats. LURVED! And my favorite was Cheetara. I played with her all the time. Even after homegirl’s head fell off, I still played with her. Remember how I said Miss Piggy turned me into a big ‘mo? Cheetara may also have contributed to that. Still nothing to do with Christmas, but a fond memory of mine all the same.
..Britney is going on tour!! I will NOT miss this, but have yet to get tickets. So for Christmas I’d like Britney tickets. Thanks Santa!!
Something I love about my family is that every year we would go to a Christmas tree farm, cut down our own tree, then bring it home and decorate it. Something my parents instilled in me is a sense of tradition. I get a little annoying with it though, because I want to help decorate the tree and have Santa come even as a 20 hmmrmr.a.dfal year old. This is the first year that we aren’t going to open presents on Christmas Eve and have Santa come Christmas morning and I’m having a small, but manageable, panic attack about it.
One of the biggest fights in the Bahr household occurred over who would open the Advent calendar every day. The chocolate was gross (and not really appropriate at 7:30 am) but I loved seeing what was under that little day! Advent calendars really helped me get in the Christmas mood as a kid.
13. Rock Band
I really want Rock Band for Christmas. But I’ll need an XBox first. Thanks, Santa!
14. Christmas Candy Every year my mom would make Christmas candy for all of our teachers and neighbors and I loved it!! What is funny, is that the candy didn’t really have any flavor and was more of a hassle than anything, but she stuck with it. Moms are really great sometimes when you think about all of the things that they do to make the holiday season extra special for kids. My mom, especially, has gone above and beyond to make every year special. Even the year the gave me pencils.
Pre haircut? Gross. Post haircut? Now this is something I can work with!!!! I’d like this haircut and this man for Christmas. Thanks, Santa!
16. Snowboard
When I was 14 I got a plastic snowboard for Christmas. I cried. My parents tried and tried for me to be athletic when all I wanted was dance lessons. “When will they learn?” I thought. Bless their hearts for trying, it just wasn’t meant to be. Until I became a ‘mo and discovered the pressure that comes with it to be thin. So really with this scenario, we both win.

Monday Photo Bonanza!!!! December 22, 2008
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Hi everyone, sorry I’m a bit late with getting the blog post up today. I took the morning off to start packing and finish up some last minute shopping and…well…neither really happened. I leave for Ohio tomorrow afternoon so I’ve got just over 24 hours to do 48 hours worth of stuff. I say that because, well, I’m the worst packer in the history of the world. Seriously. I take way too long, I pack way too many outfits (I need options!) and nothing ever seems to fit the way I want it to. Hopefully things will go smoothly. Obviously with the holidays blog posts will be a little less frequent but keep checking in because I’m sure I’ll have some down time out there in Ohio. And make sure to come back on December 31st for the Top 10 Moments of the year on BriTunes.

Mama….


…You Out!!!
Well of course I thought this was hilarious and couldn’t keep a straight face for very long. He He. Straight face. Pun.
I love the guy in the background. Who gave him permission to be in our picture?!
After playing boxer for a bit, I decided to get back to my real calling in life–modeling.
That’s a Lands End catalog shot if I ever saw one!
A few nights later we had the Ugly Sweater party at Lisa and Rachel’s place. Dara, Dr. Mike, and Bridget ended up looking cute but the rest of our sweaters needed some help!
Nice pose, Yasi.
Matty forewent the fedora for this party and instead rolled in with some hot rapist glasses on.
Kido, of course, looked impeccable. I decided to try on the rapist glasses later but I ended up looking more like the Old Navy lady than a rapist.
Throw in a little Sharon Gless….
And you’ve got Brian.
“I’m giving you BROKEN DOLL!!”
I decided to go with the ice skater vibe with my ugly sweater. Mock turtleneck, bright red, jewels…..it’s ugly sweater time bitches.
See what I mean about Bridget? It’s a little seventh grade American Eagle, but she looks adorable!
Yasi also looked adorable, but in an entirely different meaning of the world. Here we are dancing to the one of many Britney songs played that evening.
Page Six had an exceptionally ugly sweater. Seriously, that shit was nasty. He ended up working it though.
Kaka Kido and I….well….we’re kind of amazing together. Here I am, for whatever reason, singing to her boob. I….um….yeah. I don’t know.
On Saturday Beaux and Scotty held a “hos and hotties” party. Beer Pong, Kidz Only station on Direct TV, and many homos later I drug my tired ass home in the wee hours of the morning. But not without posing for a picture first.
There’s really no point to this picture except to A) Show you that I was indeed in attendance and B) I had an ADORABLE outfit on. Seriously. I was shutting it down.
Last night was Spring Break Long Island part 2, this time being held in Queens. Poulous is always the most gracious hostess and last night was NO exception. In addition to the treats we had in LI back in August (Heinekin, Heroes, VODKA SAUCE) she also catered in Sushi. Anyone who has sushi at a holiday party is okay in my book!!! A group of us posed for a picture that ended up looking like a cracked out family portrait more than anything.
It’s a little Adams Family, isn’t it?
Kido is Morticia, Matt is the dad (what was his name again?), Yasi is Wednesday, Andrea is Uncle Fester, Mo is Pugsly, and I’m Lurch with my tall ass towering above everyone. Seriously. I look freakishly tall. And Mo and Andrea, obviously you don’t LOOK like Fester and Pugsly….I just ran out of girls. Sorry.
My greatest new obsession is Rock Band, so you can imagine my excitement when I walked in the house and saw it sitting there!!! Well, of course I lobbied for a little Rock Band to happen and lucky for me it did!
Yasi and Andrea couldn’t be bothered to stand up to play the geetar. Maybe THAT’S why they were so bad at it?! OH!! SNAP!!
Yeah…I’m not much better.
The ride home from Spring Break is always a blast. Last time it was drinking beer on the LIRR, this time it was pasta on the N train. Oh yes. Pasta. With vodka sauce. Kristina made sure I got some leftovers and I couldn’t wait all the way home to start eating it.
I love Bridget looking on longingly. Bitch, please. Don’t pretend like you didn’t help me out with eating it!!
Such a great weekend, and I’m really looking forward to my trip home. Page Six is being SUCH a great help and taking care of the kittens while Dr. Mike and I are gone. If he’s lucky, he’ll be able to catch them doing crazy cute things like this!
I don’t know what they were looking at out the window, but they sure were adorable! And kinda freaky standing on their front legs….but mostly adorable!
Gosselins Gone Wild December 19, 2008
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Mady
I’d love to say that Mady is misunderstood, that she has a brother/sister complex, that she has a hard life but really….Mady’s just a C U Next Tuesday. I’m sorry, but she is. She’s also pretty much me at age 8…or any age, really. Storming out of rooms, refusing to participate, pouting–she’s the pits, really. So Mady at age 23 is sure to be a scary sight. I’m predicting this:
Coked out, schizo, freaky stripper. You know she’ll have a few kids somewhere, probably with multiple baby daddies, and she’ll be estranged from the whole family. Please, she’ll probably run away from home at age 14, live in a shelter for a few years, then meet a nice man named Tyrone who will rough her around a bit “because he loves her.” You better change your ways, Mady G!

Yup! Fat girl, here you come! Now put down that spoon and pick up some weights! No! Hannah, don’t pick up the…don’t pick up….
Oh boy.
I’m sorry little man, but you’re not getting laid until you’re 38. At least. If ever. Them’s be the breaks kid!
Hemp necklace? Dreadlocks? Long sleeved T? Uh oh…..looks like a bi-sexual experience while high is in store for someone pretty soon!! Get ready Gosselins, you’re going to be hearing a lot of Bob Marley coming from Lexi’s room with odd smells sneaking out from under the door.

Oh no…please….no…please don’t tell me what I think you’re….no…..
Oh. Joel. My. You…um….you look a little different….um……I hope Jon doesn’t see……um……wow. Pretty girl, pretty girl….
Cara

Cara!!! Noooo!!! TLC is never going to be rid of your family, are they? Because we all know that you’re going to just continue the tradition: “Jon and Kate Plus 8 Part 2: Cara’s Turn.”
Colin

Welcome to your future, Colin. And congrats! You made it out unscath……oh…wait….this is Colin at age 19, in fifteen years. One year later he joins a Frat House in college and….
…so close.
Leah

Hey. Don’t judge. You know one of them had to deal with it. It’s really just a call for attention. We’re rooting for you Leah! Don’t turn into a Mady!

Well…you did your best Jon. R.I.P.!!!
And finally…….


YEEEEEIKES! The years have not been kind….
Happy Birthday to…… December 19, 2008
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My hubby, Jake Gyllenhaal! Happy birthday pook, can’t wait to celebrate tonight. Thank you for all the happiness you’ve brought me over the years!
It’s Time the Play the Music… December 18, 2008
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Last night I had some options to consider. I could go out and be with friends, get drunk, and spend money OR…..I could go to the gym, stay in eating Spagghetio’s (with meatballs) and feel sorry for myself while watching “The Muppets: Letters to Santa.” Well, I implore you to try and figure out which one I did.
You probably are!
Since I was a little kid, I have LURVED The Muppets. The one thing that always disappoints me, however, is that my favorites are always the characters that aren’t ever really featured. I mean sure–Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo…they’re fine, whatever, you know. But my faves aren’t usually in the spot light and in the past few Muppet specials, have barely been seen at all. Last night’s special, however, I got to see a bunch of my faves that I haven’t seen in a while and it made me laugh, made me cry, and really made me miss being 7 years old. And while watching it, I realized I have never sat down and figured out who my top ten Muppet characters are. So now, without further ado, I’d like to present to you my Top 11 Muppet characters. And yes, 11, because I couldn’t pick just 10.
11. Beauregard
My favorite moment with B-Dawg is in The Great Muppet Caper when he was the taxi driver and was driving all mad crazy everywhere. Then later on in the movie Kermit says they’re going to catch the thieves red handed and Bo goes “What color are their hands now?” Oh man, gets me everytime.

8. Dr. Teeth




BORK BORK BORK!! Do you guys remember The Muppet Show episode when The Swedish Chef is going to make a Lobster, and all of a sudden the gang of lobsters show up in cowboy hats and wielding guns to save their friend from the pot? Ugh. Classic. There are SO MANY great Swedish Chef moments, it’s hard to pick just one. The character is absolutely ridiculous, and completely fantastic. Trivia note–on the show, the Chef’s hands are the performer’s real hands. It is only in publicity photos that they are Muppet hands.
4. Miss Piggy
I wish I could have Miss Piggy up higher on the list, because she is fabulous, but the top three really are my top three. I do believe, however, that Miss Piggy is what turned me into a gay man. She was the very first fag hag, as we alllll know someone like Miss Piggy. There are too many great moments of hers to name just one. The moment in Manhattan with Joan Rivers. Whenever she gets mad at Kermit she hits him with that giant “hiiiii–yah!” The bike riding scene in Caper. The dancing scene in Caper. Piiiiiigs In Spaaaaaaaace. I love it all. She is one hot diva.
3. Sweetums
I don’t know why I love Sweetums so much. I really don’t. He has had small roles in both the show and the movies. But I think I love him because he looks so scary, so menacing, but he’s just a big sweetie underneath. My favorite moment with him was in The Muppet Movie when he chased Kermit and Fozzie all over town. Or in The Great Muppet Caper when he fell in the pot hole and yelled out “hey a movie!” Lame, I know. But he cracks me up!
2. Animal
“Wo-man! Wo-man! Wo-man! Woman…” Animal is fruckin‘ awesome. My second favorite member of The Electric Mayhem, Animal is probably the most popular of the group. From eating his drums on the show to growing fifty feet tall in The Muppet Movie, Animal has consistently made laugh year after year. My most vivid memory of him (besides running down the aisle chasing the girl in Manhattan) is when he played the drums for Rita Moreno when she performed “Fever” on the show and he kept upping the tempo. Good times.
And my number 1 member of The Muppets is………
1. Janice!!
Oh Janice, what is it about you that I love so? For me she has the best one liners in all the Muppet universe. Take these two examples, for instance. In The Muppets Take Manhattan: “So I told him ‘Look, man, I don’t take my clothes off for anybody, even if it is artistic.’ Another example is in The Great Muppet Caper when everyone is talking and they quiet down and she says: “Look, Mother. It’s my life. OK. So if I want to live on a beach and walk around naked…” So perfect. She’s stylish, she’s artistic, she’s musical. She’s Just Janice.
So I’m curious to know–who are your favorite Muppet characters? Did I miss anyone? Or am I the only one who still, as a grown up, is in love with the Muppets?
I Came Up With a New Word… December 17, 2008
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Upon performing a Google search of the word, however, I discovered that I did not, in fact, come up with the word “Fruckin.” I don’t know who did, but “fruckin” is alllll over that google search. You know, it really is amazing the things you discover when you Google search. Take “Jazz Hands,” for example. When I searched for Jazz Hands, I came across this gem:
There are so many amazing things happening in this picture, my head is about to explode. However, there is one special thing happening—can you notice it? Had me laughing for at least a good 34 seconds!
I’m Sorry. I Can’t. Don’t Hate Me. December 17, 2008
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Carrie: Boy, do I have news!
Girls: Oh, honey, that’s amazing, that’s so great, blah blah blah.

I was DYING!!!! She then says:
“I don’t know why her did that.” Ugh. She’s amazing. SO ADORABLE!!!!
Speaking of adorable, Kristen sent me a few more pictures from her wedding.
We were pretending I had just said something really funny. I hadn’t. I really love the look of the pictures though. Her photographer, Rebekah Westover (shout out to rebekahwestover.blogspot.com for the pictures) has this style that I love. She had a “photobooth” set up outside the banquet hall and everyone took funny pictures. There are three of me that I look HORRIBLE in, but this one has been approved for your viewing pleasure.
Last night Page Six and I went out for dinner to celebrate birthdays and Hanukkah and Christmas and we had SUCH a good time. Margs at Arriba are NEVER a let down. Anyway, as we were sitting there, watching the snow in the background and listening to Christmas music while sipping margs, four people came in to sit at the table next to us.
*Please note, these were not the exact people, I’m just trying to give you a visual image*
One…
…two, three…
…four.
Four little people in a row. I love little people, don’t get me wrong, but THAT’S hilarious! And they had all just been ice skating. Four little people isn’t a group of friends hanging out, it’s an army. It’s friggin Little People, Big World up in here and they’s about to take over! I wonder what would happen to them if they had one of the BIG margaritas from Arriba. Two words: Humpty. Dumpty.
In other news still, Heidi and Spencer eloped Monday on The Hills.
Best part about it? They did it while wasted on Patron. So gay people can’t marry, but Heidi and Spencer can elope. Wasted. On. Patron. It’s all good though, because Heidi and Spencer don’t just stand for marriage. They are marriage. They are love. They are….America.