Top Top Modelers March 31, 2009Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.
In honor of BriTunes’ 450th post, I decided to do a little Top Model dedication.
I know Tyra, I’m excited too, but wait for it. Little did I know that copying and pasting pictures would take me all day, so my apologies for the day late post. Better use of time than going to the gym? Totes McGotes my friends, Totes McGotes.
There have been a lot of Top Modeler’s over the years, and by a lot I mean A LOT. If you figure there’s roughly 13 girls every cycle, and there have been 12 cycles so far, that’s 156 girls, yo! That’s a whole lot of extensions/breakdowns/freak outs/high heels/tears. Of course we all have our favorites and certain tv personalities stick with us, even after that final picture is handed out. I have 15 beautiful Top Model contestants standing in front of me, but only one, can be Brian’s. Favorite. Top. Mo. D. El. I put a lot of thought into the order and there was more to my placement than just “good runway, good pictures, good personality.” Some of my favorites didn’t necessarily make it very far, but I think you’ll notice a few winners in there. I also screwed up when inserting the pictures so instead of going from last to first, we’re going the anticlimatic route and going first to last. Oh well. Many thanks go out to Rich over at fourfour for letting me use his pictures and gifs. And by “letting me use” I do mean “letting me steal.”
#1. Joanie – Cycle Six, Runner-Up
There’s so much to love about Joanie. A former Preacher’s daughter and exotic dancer, Joanie had it going ON. She consistently turned out great picture
after great picture.
Plus she was funny
see? She’s calling someone ‘bitch.’ HILARIOUS! She also wasn’t afraid to uglify herself on tv.
Oh the snaggle tooth….ooohhhh, the snaggle tooth. “I was in that dentist chair for THIR-TEEN-HOURS!!!” Loves me some Joanie! While I’m very happy that Dani won in her season, it is the only time in Top Model history I wished it could have been a tie.
#2. Eva–Cycle 3, Winner
Eva was a bitch. This we knew. But MAN, could she turn it out.
The shortest Top Model winner in the history of the show (that is, until this year, the “5’7 and under season”) Eva took on bitches like Anne, Jennipher (ph? Really?) and Cassie in what is arguably the best Top Model season EVER.
Remember this shoot? Eva was TERRIFED of the spider. Modeling through the tears, that’s what it’s all about. You better work it bitch.
#3. Dani–Cycle 6, Winner
Dani’s awesome for a couple of reasons.
1. She gave us one of my favorite Top Model pictures in the history of the competition.
2. She was very expressive.
3. She knows her angles.
4. And she gave us this gem.
I love bloopers!!!
#4. Jaslene–Cycle 8, Winner
Attention Wal-Mart shoppers, Jaslene is awesome. Rejected the previous year, Jaslene came back in Season 8 to win it all. She’s a drag queen trapped in a woman’s body (hello, Cha-Cha Diva, anyone?) Jaslene shows us she knows how to smile with her eyes.
But also turn out a fiiiiiiierce picture.
She commanded picture after picture and truly deserved the title of winna!
#5. Kahlen–Cycle 4, Runner-Up
Kahlen was robbed! ROBBED!! That slut bag Naima took the crown from her and I’ve been bitter ever since.
Kahlen was one of the first “I don’t really know how to model but I’m awesome at it” types that went very far in the competition.
She was funny, charming, and endearing which made me like her all the same. If they ever have a “Top Model All-Stars” season, they should totally bring back Kahlen!
#6. Amanda–Cycle 3, Third Place
Sometime the mark of a good Top Model-er isn’t whether or not she’s an actual good model, but whether or not she’s fun to make fun of. Amanda “where are my crystals I’m legally blind” was one of the best contestants EVER for this. Between crying about missing her son and telling us she was legally blind every five minutes, Amanda rocked.
It didn’t hurt that she really did turn out a fierce picture…
…most of the time. I don’t need to see your tramp stamp! Eeeyyyikes!
#7. Jade–Cycle 6, Third Place
Fabulous indeed Jade, fabulous indeed. You’re no Danny Gokey, but you’re pretty damn fabulous. You know what you’re not though?
America’s Next Top Best Friend. Jade brought so much dramz, so many weird moments, and so many made up words throughout her season.
Yup, RIL odd.
But in her defense, Jade really did turn out some great pictures. Hell, she made it to the final three! She was a crazy bitch, and we loved her for it.
#8. Toccara–Cycle 3, sixth place
Well well well, if it isn’t little miss….I mean…big miss….Toccara Jones. As she herself would say “my butt is big, my personality is bigger.”
Personality, blue afro…..you say tomato I say vodka.
As it was though, Toccara made me laugh and really did turn in some great pictures. And she didn’t go all “Celebrity Boot Camp/angry Tyra” until long after the competition. During her season she was a riot! If she didn’t completely check out halfway through, who knows how far she could have gone.
#9. Yoanna–Cycle 2, Winner
Part Elephant, Caridee definitely brought the LOL’s and was probably the most naturally gorgeous Top Modeler we’ve ever had.
#11. Kim–Cycle 5, fifth place
Ability to turn straight girls gay?
Check. (btw, you’re welcome Patrick)
Perfectly coiffed lesbi faux hawk?
Yeah, Kim pretty much rocked my world way back in Cycle 5. In fact, I met Mr. Jay while Cycle 5 was airing and one of the only things I could say was “I love Kim!” Yeah…I know. Kim was sarcastic, funny, and bitchy–perfect Top Model combination!
#12. Dionne–Cycle 9, Third Place
Rock on Wholahey, rock on. Btw, for those unaware, the models were forced to pick a “model” name and Dionne picked Wholahey. Yes, Wholahey. Shows how crazy she be!
#13. Sheena–Cycle 11, Seventh Place?
Sheena is awesome. Why? Flexible.
she’ll go far. At this point in the season it’s really anybody’s game so we’ll just have to wait and see! Fingers crossed that Allison is there in the end!
Annaleigh! What up, yo?
Annaleigh was totally gyped out of second place and even the crown (mcKey, SERIOUSLY?!) She was cute, spunky, commerical, adorable, but also able to take high fashion shots like this
Maybe it was her hair, maybe it was her attitude, but I done liked Annaleigh a whole lot.
One Tree OMG March 30, 2009Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.
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As seen on Friday’s “The Soup.” You’ve got to see it to believe it….
Weekend Recap March 30, 2009Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.
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I suppose having an icky Monday morning is my punishment for having SUCH a great weekend. Friday night was my first ever giant House Party:
Upon hearing this, I calmed down greatly. We had a game of flip cup going, and a game of beer pong going which made for messy floors but a great time. There was minimal damage done and clean-up didn’t take long the next day. Word on the street is that everyone had a blast (said one party attender: “One of the best parties of ’09!”) so because of that I say “huzzah! House Party success!” Didn’t take many pictures but the ones we did take turned out awesome.
As evidenced by this picture of Scotty and I. Great picture, lighting could use a little work.
And a picture of Steve More-O and also could use a little help with the lighting. Love me some More-O though.
I woke up in a daze on Saturday with a new, unexpected friend.
The biggest zit EVER. I’m serious, this mothafucka had a heart beat. I considered staying in Saturday night because of it (well that and the fact that my liver need some recovery time) but I ended up meeting More-O up in HK for a few drinks. We headed to Posh towards the end of the night and I was having a great time–until someone made fun of the friend on my face. It’s funny how someone making fun of your biggest insecurity can be a buzzkill. Homeboy’s still alive and kickin‘ today but the heart beat has subsided. Thank God!
Sham-POW! Homebody done beat up a prostie! Apparently she bit his tongue and wouldn’t let go so he punched her in the face until she did. Don’t you hate it when that happens? I hate Sham-Wow guy, but no one makes my ears bleed quite like this guy:
:::shudder::: Torture. Why does he feel the need to yell every time he’s on my television? Hate him. Look maybe my expectations are too high. I mean, after all, not every infomercial can be as amazing as this one.
Ah the Magic Bullet, you shall always have a special place in my heart.
Like you had any doubt? God, I’m predictable.
HILARIOUS Gay Truth Booth March 27, 2009Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.
Might I say this is the best Gay Truth Booth we’ve had so far? Check it out here
And comment people!! The black girl get’s all the comments, show me some love. 😉
Real World New Orleans March 27, 2009Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.
As you all know, the Real World New Orleans is the best season EVAH. Thanks to Page Six over at Pop Wrap, I decided to look up videos on YouTube and I came across this one from a Mardi Gras episode. Basically playa David brought home a ho, left her friend downstairs, and hilarity ensued. Please to enjoy.
Okay, Okay…. March 26, 2009Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.
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All I have to say is this: three years ago everyone loved a man named Taylor Hicks. And now? I’m just sayin.’ Don’t be surprised if you feel a little differently about Jokey Gokey in the near future.
There. Kris Allen shirtless. Okay? Can we go back to being friends now?
I Die. March 26, 2009Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.
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Your Face Bugs Me March 26, 2009Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.
See? You smell it too, don’t you?! I’m just so sick of hearing about you and the hype. I mean, you’re really not that great. You shout pretty much everything. You’re annoying. Don’t get me started on how much you hit us over the head with the ‘dead wife’ thang. And I hate your glasses.
Nice goatee, is it 2002 again?
You look weird when you sing.
Happy Birthday To…. March 25, 2009Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.
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Curse You… March 25, 2009Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.
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This guy. Yeah, that’s right Cruz Beckham, I’m talkin’ to you. You wanna make somethin’ of it? What.