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Thursday Tidbits April 30, 2009

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First things first–Happy Opening ‘9 to 5!’ Page Six had his date cancel yesterday so since I was there when it happened he invited me to see the show again yesterday. Two times in two weeks, love me some Broadway! Because we’re so VIP, (and by we I mean he, I just tag along) we were able to go backstage. Neil Haskell from “So You Think You Can Dance” was TH–IS close to me, but I was too shy of a fanboy to go and say hi to him. Stephanie Block walked past me like four times but I was scared of her and Allison Janney was right around the corner from us but I didn’t want to interrupt her conversation and tell her how much I love her. Megan Hilty on the other hand….

…invited us into her dressing room (which smells REALLY GOOD) and showed us all of her pictures with Dolly Parton and her opening night dress and her costumes and shoes…it was kind of cool being in a Broadway star’s actual dressing room. A first for me, in fact. A great show, and a great time. Thanks Page Six!

Back watching the cats at Ant Rapp’s. You know, I thought that cats were supposed to be an easy animal to take care of. I mean, I thought you could just put a bowl filled with food out and they were supposed to be able to eat off that for a number of days. Right? Isn’t that what I heard? That’s what Carrie and Big were like. Not so with Anthony’s..I swear…they’re so high matainence. First Sebastian up and dies. Now Emma hasn’t really been eating the past couple of days so great…that’s one thing. And Spike. Oooohhh Spike. He’s had this rash on his belly for a number of months. Anthony just never got it taken care of but I noticed Spike had been messing around with it more than not lately so I made Ant take him to the vet when he was in town. Now I have to give him a pill every day which is SO much fun to do and then I come back to the condo last night to find this:

Yeeeeeeeikes! I’m reminded of that Jurassic Park dinosaur that ate Newman…

Seriously. The resemblence is uncanny. Especially when Spike is hungry and meows at me loudly. He’s so special ed with it on, I kinda can’t handle. Poor guy. I feel bad for him but gimmie a friggin break!!

Found a picture of me in action at a recent Dodgeball night and oooohhhh my goodness.


Pretty, right? Please notice a few things:

1. Short shorts. Oh yes. Oh yes. Totally sexy on me. And I absolutely stole them from the gym. Excuse me, “borrowed them.”

2. The Finger. Constantly paranoid of breaking my finger again, it’s not unusual to see me protecting it by keeping it close to my body. Of course, that kind of hinders my catching ability sometimes but…whatever.

3. Oh no! That is totally my “Oh my God I don’t want to get hit by this ball” face.

Red Arrow by what should be #4. Check out those guns. You have your ticket to the gun show yet?

5. Red Rubber Ball. If I remember correctly, this is the match where I was a total rock star and bobbed, weaved, and dodged for hours. So on one hand, I could have dodged this ball. As it was though, it’s also very possible this ball was on target to get me out. Yeah….probably the latter.

Have a date with Guy tonight.

Am very excited. I’ve been having some very good times with him lately. We’re either going to see “Obsessed” with Beyonce or the “A Chorus Line” documentary. I’m pulling for the documentary, he’s pulling for Beyonce. Said this to me earlier: “I really want to see Obsessed and I think it would a really fun movie to see but I’d go see A Chorus Line. You can pick, I’m fine with either.”

Which movie do you think we’re going to see tonight?

Damn him. He plays the game well. 🙂

Ridic April 30, 2009

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This picture simply proves the fact that Heidi Montag-Pratt and Spencer Pratt are two of the most ridiculous, attention hungry, and absurd people in the world. Well, second to me, of course.

Jon and 8 Minus the Kate? YES PLEASE!!! April 29, 2009

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Oooooooooh snap. D-RAMZ in the house! The new issue of US Weekly is reporting that Jon from Jon and Kate Plus 8 was caught out with a “mystery woman” at 2 am, after a night of clubbing. Jon replied with a statement that he was “meeting the club owner with his friend” and that his friend merely “wanted to drive his car.” I’m sure that’s not the only thing she wanted to drive. Personally I’m fine with Jon and Kate breaking up. That woman is a real pill and the whole world knows it. She need a reality check, pronto.

I’m a little disappointed in Jon’s taste in rebound girls. I mean, if you’re going to cheat, you might as well go all out. Aim a little higher. Just think about it:

Jon and Beyonce Plus 8

Beyonce could form a Von Trapp/Destiny’s Child type singing group and she’d have plenty of choices for when she wanted to kick someone out of the group.

Or…

Living with Lohan…and Jon…Plus 8

What about Lindsey? She’s newly single. She’s looking for love. She’s had reality show experience. She knows what it’s like to live in the spotlight. And I’m sure she’d be a good mom…I mean…she has had dogs before, that counts….right?

Zac and Jon Plus 8: It’s Complicated

Come on people–this is 2009! If you can’t have a couple of homos on tv with 8 kids, what CAN you have on TV? Plus Zefron is totally adorable and charming. Having him on the show would totally smooth over the fact that this man with 8 kids left his wife for another man, right? And look at that picture–they look soooo happy together. Oh Zefron…you could wash clothes on those abs….

and if all else fails….


Keeping up with Jon and Jodi

Bring back Aunt Jodi!!!!! You guys remember Aunt Jodi, right? She was on the show waaaay back in Season 2 and would always take care of the kids but then Kate said

and kicked her ass off the show. Apparently Kate doesn’t like attention being paid to other people, who knew? Jodi already knows the kids, they already know her, Jon knows her, we know she’s a good mom, she lets her kids play dress up and eat candy, and we know she makes for good tv! The only downside? She looks like a drag queen. But that’s fine, after RuPaul’s Drag Race it’s okay to have drag queens on basic cable! Perfect fit!

I’m just saying TLC, think about it. And if you decide to go with any of my ideas, make sure you tell everyone you heard about it on BriTunes first!!

SJP is Preggo! April 29, 2009

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Sarah Jessica Parker is having a baby, ya’ll!!! Well……..kinda. In case you haven’t heard already (what, do you live under a rock? Do you NOT check the entertainment news every hour on the hour like me?) SJP and Matthew “I swear I’m not gay” Broderick will be having two twin girls via a surrogate. The babies are due this summer….right before SJP is supposed to start filming “Sex and the City” sequal. So…yeah…that makes a ton of sense but whatever. Congrats to the happy couple!

One of These Things is Just Like the Other April 28, 2009

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And this is why Spencer and I are the same person. Saturday we show up to the zoo and both have on white plaid shorts, and a blue shirt. Last night? Black shirt, grey plaid shorts. And then these pictures happened:

In a separate location twenty minutes later…
Please pay no attention to the fact that he looks about twenty times cuter in his picture. Dodgeball after partys are always a dangerous drug. You go in thinking you’re going to stay for twenty minutes and 1:45 am later you’re dancing to bad techno at Splash. Wait–what?! Ugh. Seriously. It was a great time though and so much fun to see everyone. Hard to believe that there are only two more weeks left in dodgeball. Whatever will my liver do?!

I have no other reason to post this picture of More-O and I other than I ja’dore him. That is all.

Didja hear? They’re remaking one of the GREATEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME!!!

I LURVED this movie growing up. I have absolutely no idea who the guy was playing Fred but Phoebe Cates is amazing in it. I remember always loving when she cut her hair short. I’ve heard that it’s going to star Russell Brand from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” which sounds like it might be pretty good. Anne Hathaway for the lead? I should be casting this movie. Actually, I should be getting back to scheduling meetings. I’m feeling very

about work today but I’ve been kept relatively busy so that’s nice. One last thing before I go:

Spotted in an apartment in Utah

Carrie Bradshaw!!!! That hairy bitch has been chillin’ with Elphaba and Crazy’s mom and I guess she’s doing well. You know, I really do miss them…I still can’t believe how that all went down and how crazy the events that unfolded were. I’m happy that things worked out for the best in the end. Well…for the most part. But that’s another blog for another day! Peace out, ya’ll!

Just ‘Cuz April 27, 2009

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Ryan Reynolds. Just ‘cuz.

Weekend Recap April 27, 2009

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Umm…….

Er…..uh…..

I can’t…I don’t….

Excuse me?! Swine Flu? First birds and now this? I mean, with birds it was to be expected–you can’t trust birds. Birds are shifty. Pigs are a different story! Nothing negative has ever come from a pig I mean HELLO:

Right?

HELLOOOO


See what I mean?

RIGGGGGGHT?!

I mean, they’re delicious! How could something that amazing try and kill you? Harumph. I refuse to beleive it. Anything thing I refuse to beleive?

Bea Arthur DIED, ya’ll!!! Now I can’t say I was ever like, a huge fan of hers or anything but she’s friggin Bea Arthur. She’s been around since the beginning of time it feels like. Truthfully I’ve always been a little afraid of her. Like I imagine if I met her in a dark alley she’d totally kick my ass. As it is though, she did right in my book by doing this:

She’s totally the geriatric Carrie Bradshaw. Peace out Bea.

What a fantastic weekend though!!! I feel like I need a weekend to recover after the weekend I had. As it is though, no rest for the…alcoholics? Is that the saying? Friday night I had a few beers with the boys then met up with Guy

for an impromptu dinner. He had stuff to do and I had stuff to do but it was great to see him, if even for an hour or so. There’s a level of comfort with him that I’ve had yet to experience lately and I’m really enjoying getting to know him. And because it’s possible he’s reading the blog todayI’m going to stop there. 🙂 After dinner with Guy I met up with Kaka Kido and Matt, to hang out with our friend Rob who was in town from Michigan. He and his friend had started drinking much earlier than the rest of us and he was on the opposite end of the table from me so I ended up just chatting with Kido and Matt the entire night. Fine with me!! The bar we went to left a little bit to be desired so we peaced out of there relatively early and called it a night.
Saturday morning (okay, afternoon) I met up with Spencer and his family and we went to the Central Park Zoo. Saturday was the most gorgeous day ever. Seriously sunny skies and warm but not like, HOT. I was loving it. I also loved seeing his nephews. They’re kiiiiind of my favorite people in the world.


Kids can be a bit much sometimes but I surprise myself by how much I love being called “Uncle Brian.” I also got to spend some quality time with Finn, who is now a real live baby!


While I’m still afraid to hold him, he’s no longer the fragile newborn he was a mere two months ago. And I got him to smile and talk a little bit to me!!! I can’t wait to see him again. We saw Polar Bears, monkeys, seals, penguins and lots and lots of pigeons. We also saw….


…this lovely yet equally horrifying statue. In case you can’t tell, that is a lion eating a giant bird. About to feed it to its lion cubs. A STATUE of that. Jack kept asking why the lion was eating the bird and I honestly didn’t know. I mean, I understand that lions kill animals for food but to put a statue of it right outside the food court was a little confusing to me. After the zoo we headed to Sheep’s Meadow in the middle of the park to meet up with a bunch of our friends. It was PACKED.

That picture doesn’t even do the scene justice. So much fun, so many people, and so many hot shirtless boys. Amazing! Also, please excuse my giant thumb.

Saturday night I layed low for a bit and then went out in Chelsea with the boys and Scotty’s friends from LA. We hit a few bars and after a half hour or so the lone girl in the group came up to me and said “I know you.” I looked at her and realized it was my FRESHMAN YEAR RA!! Like, from Utah! Morgan Hall!! I could NOT beleive it was her. Apparently she is going to school here or something. It was just amazing to me just how small a world it is. Had a late late night Saturday so therefore we didn’t get to brunch until about 2 pm Sunday. Went to a place in the Meatpacking District and for some reason there was a DJ spinning very LOUD bouncy music.

Add to the mix some Eurotrash dancing at the table next to us and a slow waiter and you had a couple of grumpy homos. All of a sudden, however, the mimosas started flowing more steadily….the champagne started coming….the dancing started….the posing started….


…and yes…the self-portraits happened.

What that giant Julia Roberts vein is doing on my head, I have no idea. Anyway, after two hours of mimosas I. Was. SHITFACED. Seriously I was not right. WASTED. Went home and CRASHED around 5:30 only to wake up at 8:45 to about 7 texts and 5 missed calls. You see, I had planned a game night Sunday night over at Anthony’s place. A little Celebrity, perhaps some Taboo, who knew what trouble we would get in to. Uh….I sorta slept through it a bit. I pick up the buzzer to hear More-O saying “We’re downstairs, where the hell are you?” My bad. Luckily I sobered up a little bit and had a FANTASTIC time playing Celebrity. Seriously laughed my ass off. Let’s do it again soon boys. And I promise to be awake this time!

Got to work this morning (where so many people called out. The nice weather must be distracting them!) and had a call from the messanger center. “Hi Brian? This is the messanger center. We have a flower delivery down here for you.” QUA?

I got FLOWERS, ya’ll!! I had been joking to Guy about how I was insulted I didn’t receive anything from my bosses and so he sent me flowers for Belated Administrative Professionals Day! Uh….ADORABLE! I’m telling you…this one’s a keeper. Gush!
Enjoy your day. Both main bosses are out so it’s a pretty quiet day for me. Peace out, bitches!
Ps. Hey Wife Annette—did you pop out that kid yet?

You Better WORK! April 24, 2009

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Happy Friday everyone, Happy Friday indeed! My pain in the A boss is out traveling today which means I can rest easy AND get caught up on my work! Huzzah! PLUS it’s supposed to be gorgeous weather, I’m going to see my friends this weekend (Kaka, you better get ready gurrrrl), AND that one Guy is back in town. It’s a good day. 🙂

Are you ready to see the greatest picture in the history of pictures?


Britney and her kids at some Candie’s party. Cute, right? I can’t get past this:

Sean Preston, you better WORK BITCH! He is giving some “Face Face Face Beauty Face…CAMAROOOON!” I mean, look, it’s pretty obvious he’s going to grow up to be a ‘mo but how could not be? His mom is friggin BRITNEY SPEARS! He is so working that shit. Go on and get it Sean Preston!

So for those of who you don’t know, Dodgeball has it’s own little “Gossip Girl” type site, Gossip Gays. And they post fun little tidbits about Dball happenings, or who’s dating whom, or whatever. They posted some things about last Monday’s Stripper Pole event, no big deal, right? Well someone posted this comment:

I’m Carrie 2.0 btw, because I blog. Yeah, I know, I know. Anyway, so stupid, right? Like, it’s not my fault I’m in two of the 60 pictures taken from that night and it’s not my fault Gossip Gays decided to post them! I truthfully didn’t care though, but then someone went and said this:

Which is hilarious because I only hang out with one bitch! For the life of me I can’t figure out who they were talking about because I have some of the most caring, hilarious, giving, and kind friends. Who came out in full force to defend me:

You get the gist but this went down for like, 23 comments. Some were nice comments about me and some were mean and some were hilarious.

I’m sorry, but that is just so funny to me. I am, admittedly, not a good dodgeball player. Bitch pleeeeeeze, do they think I’m in the league to actually play dodgeball? I’m it to hang out with my friends, drink, and meet some new people. And to be bashed on gossip sites apparently. 😉 Something I find funny though, is this person who called me a bitch. Isn’t critiquing my Dball playing skills and calling me a bitch being a bitch in and of itself? Exactly. Hypocrite!! Whatever, as Britney says:

“love me, hate me, say you want about me but all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to seek”….Brian?

MOVING ON….we have some birthdays to celebrate!!!!!

First and foremost…..KELLY CLARKSON!!!

Yay for Kelly! She might want to stay away from the cake though, because homegirl has been lookin’ a little THICK lately.
Next, is someone just for Spencer.

BABS! Happy Birthday! You’re like 92 or something, but yay for you!
And finally…..

Whatever. It’s the Gokey’s birthday, he’s 40-something, and he has the devil growing out of his belly. For his birthday he’d like some glasses.

I was planning of introducing this next person during a “Tuesday Tunes” post but I couldn’t wait. His name is Mark Broussard, and he is AMAZING.


Scotty introduced me to him over at his and Husband’s place last week. I downloaded his cd this past weekend and have not been able to get it off my Ipod. He’s kind of a mix between Gavin Degraw and Jason Mraz with a splash of John Mayer thrown in. His first cd, “Carencro,” is the one that I downloaded and feel like it’s a great place to start. If you’re looking for some great new jams, CHECK. HIM. OUT.

Enjoy this fantastic weekend everyone. I’m out! Oh yeah, and stop talking shit about me and my friends! 😉

I Wish This Wasn’t a Joke… April 23, 2009

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…but I think it just might be. As it though, she had me rolling on the floor. Watch her left eyebrow…

Makover Week April 22, 2009

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With no offense to Amanda, the most overrated woman in America…nay, THE WORLD, got a makeover and LOOK!

The ManBrows are no more!! Between her and OctoMom, it’s like the year of overrated Q-list celebrities. I hope you will still be friends with me Amanda. Please still love me, Pwease?

Will you love me if I wish you a HAPPY ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT DAY?!?!

You….and Sah-Wa too, apparently. Hm. Anyway, did you hear? It’s Administrative Assistants Day!!! I hope someone heard because my bosses definitely didn’t! I didn’t get shit, except for lots of work today and sideways glances. Whatever. I know they appreciate me…somewhere….deep….deep down….in the depths of their cold cold souls.

I had another fantastic date last night.

We ordered Thai food, watched American Idol and Kathy Griffin, drank wine and talked, and ate Sour Patch Kids. Uh…could there BE a better night than that? Headed out with More-O tonight, and my friend Rob comes into town Friday, Preston on Sunday, and then British Ben next week! Phew