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Just ‘cuz June 30, 2009

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True Blood’s Ryan Kwanten, just ‘cuz.

YUM!!!

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Dukes of Hazzard June 30, 2009

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First off, I need to apologize to Anne Hathaway this morning. Upon reading Broadway.com’s featured stories I made a grave, horrible mistake, and for that I’m very sorry. I was looking at the stories and in my head I was saying “okay, Michael Jackson story, Samantha Harris is in Chicago blah blah blah, another Michael Jackson story…….oh…..wait.”


Yeeeeeeeah. That wasn’t a MJ story, it sure was an Anne Hathaway story! But look at those pictures! They look so much alike! So Anne, I am sorry. I actually like you very, very much and promise to never make this mistake again. But seriously girl, get some sun!

I’ve got a present for you. A Daisy Duke Photo Bonanza!!!!!

As you know, Friday night was Craig’s Daisy Duke party and it was a blast. So now I present to you, the Top 6 Ingredients one must have for a successful Daisy Duke party. You know, in case you want to have one of your own.

1. Daisy Dukes


Well obviously a pair of short shorts is a necessity. The shorter the better. In my case, I cut them so short I could not sit down for fear of flashing all of my friends. My shorts were one thin strip of fabric away from being a denim skirt. Thankfully, this piece of fabric lasted all night. Phew. While you’re wearing the shorts, a porn star pose is always an added bonus.

2. Jello Shots


Really a necessity to any party, Jello shots instantly make a Daisy Duke party more fun. The more variety of flavors the better!

3. Boys, Boys, Boys


Boys? Yes. Boys in short shorts? Yes please!! A bevvy of boys is always welcome when hosting a Daisy Dukes party. Of course, no Daisy Duke party is complete without….

4. Girls Girls Girls


The token straight girl. Love me some Lynne! Always dressed to impress.

5. Sexy Pose


An absolute must at any Daisy Duke party is a sexy pose. Extra points if you throw a sexy pout in there somewhere!

6. Ensemble


People, simply wearing Daisy Dukes isn’t going to cut it. You’ve got to make sure you have the entire outfit planned and coordinated. For instance – DavidBrandon? Went for the whole “leather daddy” theme. Dom and Mikey? Sporty Daisy Dukes. More-O and I did a little country “these boots are made for walking” ensemble. Make it work, make it match, and make it fierce. Most of all – make it Daisy Dukey!

One last thing before I go:

MARION AND TABITHA??? REEEALLY?!!!

Happy Birthday Betch June 30, 2009

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Happy Birthday goes out to Michael Phelps


Wait…not THAT Michael Phelps!

THAT Michael Phelps. However, I refuse to acknowledge that his face exists so I would like to wish a very Happy Birthday Betch to Michael Phelp’s torso, which turns 24 today.

Lessons From Pride June 29, 2009

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Ah, June. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining (unless you live in New York) and that low pulsing beat you hear is the sound of thousands of little gay boys celebrating…..Pride!!
I had SUCH an amazing weekend with the More-O boys. Seriously, it was like one amazing memory after another. Friday night we had our Daisy Dukes party and I have to say that my costume came together quite well–pictures to follow. Saturday I woke up and did some laundry, then headed to my friend Alex’s party on a roof top in Hells Kitchen. I feel really lucky sometimes to be treated to views like this


Seriously–how gorgeous!?

Saturday night we headed over to DavidBrandon’s to celebrate his birthday and I found myself drinking water the majority of the time. I can NOT pace myself to save my life! Sunday morning was Andrew’s rooftop party and the parade. He had the most ideal spot, right there on Christopher St. and the parade passed right by his house. Inbetween running up and down from the roof to watch the parade and then drink, I learned a few things.
Things I learned Pride 2009

*A blow up doll in the background of pictures instantly makes them better

*Fake wedding photos are really funny…

…until fake wedding photos turn into real ‘smash the cake in your face’ photos.

*I might want to start shopping in the Old Navy women’s section after seeing Craig’s cute tank top


*Cops love lesbians and Jack and Coke’s.

*I learned I met and took pictures with a lot of people who I will not remember the next day.


*Sexy armpit photos aren’t necessarily that sexy.


*Well placed middle fingers really make me laugh.


*I get really excited when seeing my Dodgeball lovelies marching in parades

*Shirtless boys on roofs? Yes please.

*Shirtless boys on floats? Even better!

*There is such a thing as ‘too gay.’


*There is such a thing as ‘too drunk.’ (Not that they are…I’m just saying)

*I still love me a good marching band
And finally….


*When someone says “you really should put sunscreen on…”

…I should listen!

Happy Birthday Betch June 29, 2009

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The Office, Part 3


That’s what she said! Jan Levinson-Gould, also known as Melora Hardin, turns 42 today. Happy Birthday Betch!

Happy Birthday Betch June 28, 2009

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Happy Birthday Betch goes out to So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing With the Stars star Lacey Schwimmer, who turns 21 today.

Happy Birthday Betch June 27, 2009

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Oh Chuck Bass, the things you do to me….Happy Birthday to Ed Westwick, who turns 22 today. Oh, and also….

Happy Pride!!!

Hmm…What to Blog About… June 26, 2009

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Man oh man…slow day. The boss men are out of the office today, it’s rainy and drab outside, and there’s not a whole lot in the news to report. I mean, today is “National Bring Your Dog to Work Day.”

The R train was voted the dirtiest Subway train, while the 7 train was voted the cleanest

and McHottie Jonathan went home on “So You Think You Can Dance” last night.

That’s really about it…I don’t know what else there is to…talk about….oh wait–


Hey you guys, did you hear that Danny Gokey’s wi….I mean, that Michael Jackson died? But…wait–didn’t he die like five years ago? Look, I’m not saying this isn’t sad and this isn’t a tragedy, the guy was only 50 years old. But seriously? Is anyone truly surprised by this? He’s been losing it for the past 15 years–maybe more! I’m not denying that he was a legend and that he changed the face of Pop music, but he was our generation’s Elvis–you loved him when he was on top, and hated him when he was on the down and out. I think my former USU Professor Kevin said it best on his blog:

“Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett both died today and you would think a war was lost. There is nothing else on the news. I went to Facebook and that’s all people are posting about. It saddens me but not in the way you may think. There are two major wars the US is involved in going on right now, the green revolution in Iran who’s citizens are fighting for their democratic future, problems of genocide in east Africa, unemployment world-wide, nuclear games being played by North Korea – but the only thing to get Americans moved is the death of a controversial pop singer and a model turned mediocre actress turned cancer educator.”

And also, all of these people who are like “too soon” when a joke about MJ is made. F’real? How could you NOT make light of this situation? It was a tragedy, but the guy was a walking freak show. I’m not going to pretend to be sad or broken up about it because I’ve been making fun of him for years–but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a heart in there somewhere. Am I weirded out that an icon of my generation is gone? Sure. Do I feel sad for his friends and family? Well, of course. I think I’m more bugged about the people that are pretending to be heartbroken–really? You’re really going to go home and shed a tear and quote MJ on your Facebook for the next week? Ai Dios…

My friend Ryan took it a step further than I did (I made one simple Billie Jean joke) taking to his Twitter and producing some of the funniest one-liners I’ve read in I don’t know how long.

“What a terrible day for celebrity deaths, as today saw the deaths of two white women”

“I think I just heard Patrick Swayze go, “Whew…”

“Farrah Fawcett couldn’t have chosen a worst time to die, & Governor Sanford couldn’t have chosen a better time to announce his affair”

“I wonder who gets Michael’s nose?”

“A text message I just received from someone, in response to Michael Jackson’s death: “No way. Can he even die?”

“Okay Children, you can come out and play now”

Awful? Yes. Did you just laugh? Probably. Don’t blame me, I’m merely the messenger. As it is though, I really just hope that the media outlets focus more on the legacy and music catalog that he left us and less on the controversies of his life. And let’s face it–there were a bunch. But there is no denying his contribution to pop music and music in general. And I’ll leave it at that.

Oh, but Corey Feldmann?

No.

Happy Birthday Betch June 26, 2009

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Happy Birthday to Will and Grace’s Sean Hayes, who turns 39 today. Admit it….he’s kiiiiiiinda dreamy. I miss that show…

An Open Letter June 25, 2009

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Dear Justin Timberlake,


Hey, boo! It’s me, Bri-Bri! What up “Girlfriend?!” I know you’re well aware of “My Love,” but this is going to be a different kind of letter, “This I Promise You.” After lunch with More-O today, I came back to the office and put in your cd “Future Sex/LoveSounds” which I’m just now realizing came out all the way back in 2006! What?! “It Makes Me Ill” to think how long ago that was! Seriously, “I Drive Myself Crazy” singing the same songs over and over again–I “Cry a River” thinking about how much I miss you. Why would you do this to me Justin? Don’t you know that “What Goes Around Comes Around?” Enough of this appearing on SNL crap, okay? “The Game is Over.” You’re a great entertainer, a great “Celebrity,” but “Tell Me Tell Me Baby” when are you bringing “Sexy Back?” Ugh, it’s just “Tearin’ Up my Heart,” I can’t.

And this whole Jessica Biel thing I mean….really? You can’t find any “Sexy Ladies?” That messes with me, JT. That messes with the “Music of My Heart,” take me into consideration a little bit. Cause you know,”Like, I love you.” And I really just want to “Rock Your Body” “Until the End of Time.” That Jessica Biel chick, she can think what she wants but in the end “It’s Gonna Be Me” and both you and her are going to have to deal with that. If you want, we can start out “No Strings Attached.” Whatever. So what. Who Cares. Anyway, love ya, miss you on the music scene, looking forward to our “Summer Love.” xoxo

Bye Bye Bye,

Brian