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Things I Learn at the Gym November 30, 2009

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While running on the treadmill at the gym today, I learned something.

Watching a 3 minute montage of babies puking on America’s Funniest Home Videos makes running VERY difficult. I literally had to jump off the treadmill I was laughing so hard.

I’m telling you people, it’s the little things in life…

Homo Say What? November 30, 2009

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Leonardo DiCaprio is 35??!!

Hot damn I feel old….

Monday Madness November 30, 2009

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Dayum Monday, why you gotsta be so nasty to me?! After a couple of lovely days off I’m back to the daily grind. Yippee. I’m very happy to have a job but on days like today when everyone is in their post-Thanksgiving funk, I’m jealous of people who work from home.

While walking to work from the Subway I was stuck behind someone smoking. It happens, I hate it, whatevs. But then I noticed what he was smoking.
A pipe?? Really? A pipe. Do people still smoke those? I was so taken aback I couldn’t stop staring at this man (note: not a pirate) walking down 49th street with a PIPE in his mouth. I would have been less shocked to have seen someone with a bong walking down the street. What a strange way to start my week.

I bought new pillows this weekend. It was quite the momentous occasion as I haven’t bought new pillows in about ten years. However I need to learn how to sleep on them because my neck is KILLING me today.

How was everyone’s Thanksgiving? My day was lovely – filled with a little of this

a little of this

and a whole lot of these two ladies.

My girls are SO good to me and I had the greatest time with them during Spanksgiving ’09, EVEN THOUGH Kaka Kido hasn’t read BriTunes in 2 weeks (blasphemy!)!!

My favorite thing about Spanksgiving (besides the naps) is the food. And this year’s spread was the shiiiiiiit. I ate so much that I literally went into a food coma right after dinner and had to roll to the ground.

Seriously. Homo couldn’t move. As it is though, food coma = successful Spanksgiving!!

Word spread over the weekend that my boyfriend and Greedy McWitherspoon broke up.

Their reps denied it and blah blah blah. Oh Jakey….

Why must you insist on denying your love for me??!! Le Sigh…..

Enjoy your Monday, biatches.

Greatest. Picture. Ever. November 27, 2009

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The date: May 2007.

The scene: Brian’s going away party.

The suspects: Brian (as Justin Timberlake) and Jenny (as Samantha Jones from Sex and the City).

The picture?

Amazing. Oh Jenny, the joy your face brings me in this picture.

Thanks to Heidi for the picture – greatest Thanksgiving gift EVER!!

Holiday Disappointment November 26, 2009

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Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! Just like last year, here I am live blogging from the day’s festivities. Another year, another Macy’s parade come and gone. I have to report though, a very disappointing fact. There was not, I repeat, NOT a performance from the Special Needs Color Guard of America.

Last year they were the highlight of my parade. Inspirational choreographed wonders. I wonder if they weren’t invited or…I dunno. But today, my heart is heavy.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

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I Am Thankful November 25, 2009

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Ah, Thanksgiving. Time to think back on your life and everything you’re thankful for. I, personally, am thankful for many many things and if you can’t express that thanks at Thanksgiving, when can you?!

1. Glee

Glee, when you first came into my life, I knew that we would be a great fit. You never disappoint (well, except for “Thong Song,” WTF was THAT?!) and I look forward to a wonderful future with you.

2. Argyle

Damn Argyle, why you so good to me?! You done look RIL good on me and walk that fine line between classic and trendy. I love you somethin‘ fierce.

3. My family

As “fabulous” as I am, I know they love me til the end and I’m so thankful to have them in my life. My favorite thing is sitting around drinking wine with them, just cracking up (well, until we hit too many glasses of wine and either fight or cry, but that’s inevitable, really). Big ups to Ma who reads the blog every day and let’s me call her when I’m bored at work and need someone to talk to about nothing.

4. Chipotle

Chipotle, I’m so thankful for you. If it was socially acceptable to have a burrito bowl for every meal, I would.

5. Lady Gaga

A year ago you wouldn’t have caught me EVER giving thanks for the Gaga, but she has warmed my heart with her bad romance, hit me with her disco stick, and just made me dance. Amazeballs.

6. My friends

To have found people you can laugh with, love with, and enjoy life with is the greatest gift. I’m so lucky to have these people in my life and am thankful for them every day. Well except when they say I’m turning 30. Then I’m not very thankful. But other than that I am.

7. America’s Funniest Home Videos

Still my favorite show. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

8. Zac Efron’s Abs

I mean, can you even? Not only are they amazing to look at but they also inspire me to get to the gym and work off the Chipotle I consumed earlier in the day. Zac, one day you WILL be mine even if I have to roofie you, just wait.

9. Dodgeball

Breaks my finger? Sure. Pops my shoulder out of the socket? Absolutely. Drama? Always. But Dodgeball has been such a fantastic outlet and hilarious moment in my life I’m so thankful to be part of it and to have met all of the amazing people I’ve met. Even the ones I want to punch in the face every now and then.
10. Readers Like You

As always, thanks to everyone who reads BriTunes. I really love having this creative outlet and it’s nice getting the love and positive feedback. Happy Thanksgiving and don’t think about all the calories you’re consuming!!

You’re Joking, Right? November 25, 2009

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Adam Glambert was on the early show this morning to discuss his SCANDALOUS performance on the AMA’s. I was struck by the title they chose to post:

“Straight Talk” with Adam Lambert? Isn’t that a tad….ironic? Don’tcha think? Its like raaaaaaiiiiiiin on your wedding day. It’s a freee riiiiiide when you’ve already paid

It’s the good adviiiiiice that you just didn’t take…and who would’ve thought

It figgurs……

Sorry, I got a bit distracted. It’s the day before Thanksgiving – what do you expect from me?

CBS then started showing some of the “offensive” moments from Adam’s performance and they had the biggest blur I’ve ever seen around them.

I mean, what is that even? It was a kiss between Adam and his keyboardist. It’s not like he was peeing on him. People just need to take a deep breath and relax. I was more offended by who Adam chose to make out with. Nasty ass keyboardist? Nein. Might I make a suggestion?

Sigh. Kris Allen. I miss you so. Too bad I don’t care enough about your music to buy your album!

Leave it to…YIKES! November 25, 2009

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Clicking through TMZ this morning, I came across this little diddy:

I thought to myself – “hey that’s the kid from Leave it to Beaver. Is he the one who grew up to be kind of cute?” I knew there was one child star, couldn’t remember who, that grew up to be a bit of a hottie. I came to discover, quite quickly in fact, that this person was NOT the Beave.

EEEEEEYIKES! Where’d you get those teeth, England?

For the record, I was thinking of Peter Billingsley from “A Christmas Story.”

I’d totally buy him a Red Rider, Rover, whatever bebe gun. Yum!!

Bohemian Muppet-ry November 25, 2009

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I mean, come on. Is there anything more brilliant than this?!

I mean…I can’t Even November 24, 2009

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Oh come ON.

Really? Really? Ugh. I hate him.

My Chicken Casear wrap is awesome, by the way. Can Taylor Lautner say the same? Probably not.

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