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Never Again January 29, 2010

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Nemesis.

Yesterday my nemesis was spotting leaving a Yogurtland. You people don’t understand. I love Yogurtland. There is one next to my apartment and it’s amazing.

I am never eating Yogurtland ever again. THANKS A LOT CRUZ!! Happy FREAKIN’ weekend!!!

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Let’s Talk About…You Know What January 29, 2010

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I once hooked up with a MTV star.

Homo say what?!!? Last night Benji had a game night so as to ‘say goodbye’ to his old apartment. The usuals were there, copious amounts of red wine was drank, and I can honestly say I haven’t laughed that hard in weeks. SUCH good times. At some point in the night someone brought up that old MTV group “2gether.” Do you remember them? “You, plus sign, me, equals sign, us.” Amazing, right? I was more than happy to tell my story last night about how I hooked up with one of the guys. But which one? No the really hot one (damn). Not the beefy one (damn). Not the dead one. Not Chris Farley’s brother. The blonde one!!! It was probably three or four years after the show ended and he just happened to be in Salt Lake at a club. How random. I have to say….he’s not lookin’ too hot nowadays.

Eek!! Get some sleep boo, you done look ril tired.

Speaking of MTV, let’s talk about The Buried Life.

It’s this new show where guys go out to cross things off their Bucket List and in return help someone with the one thing they’d like to do before they die. This show had me crying on the bike yesterday at the gym. This show also has my new crush.

Meet Ben. Oh Ben, Ben, Ben. SO FRIGGIN HOT.

I mean, could he BE any more perfect?

MTV also likes to show him shirtless, which is aight with me.


Fingers crossed that he’s the next MTV star I hook up with. Ben, marry me in Vermont!!!

He He He…. January 29, 2010

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Little man walking a big dog.


My Friday just got SO much better.

Just ‘Cuz January 28, 2010

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Jon Hamm.

Just ‘cuz.

You’re welcome Kelly!

In Yo FACE, Melissa! January 28, 2010

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This shit just ain’t right.

After breaking Melissa’s heart live on television, Jason and Molly are getting married…ON TV!!

Some time in March ABC will air their wedding, including the stuff up to the actual date. So we’ll be able to watch that whore Molly shopping for a dress, the bachelorette party, etc. etc.

Goody.

I can’t believe how much I used to love Jason and now the mere sight of him sickens me. But then again I’m on Melissa overload too, so really it’s a lose-lose situation with all those bihotches.

TMI January 28, 2010

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I came across this article this morning and felt the need to share.

I went back and forth between being grossed out and hilariously laughing. I just….I can’t even…

I Heart Her So Much January 28, 2010

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Quentin, I think you’ll love this.

Say It Ain’t So-oo-woah-woah January 27, 2010

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You guys know how much I love “Pants on the Ground,” right? I mean, it’s frakkin’ amazing. “Lookin’ like a foo witch yo pants on the ground!!” Well apparently the song is a rip-off.

General Larry Platt say wha-?!!

I’ve been hearing rumblings about this for the past few days and today I finally decided to take a listen.

While the inital message is the same (seriously kids, get those pants off the ground!) and they both reference hats on backwards (turn those dag nabbin’ hats around kids!) I am happy to report that the melodies are totally different.

So while perhaps Larry Platt got the INSPIRATION from The Green Brothers, I don’t think it’s a blatant rip-off, which makes my heart VERY happy.

Seriously, step off of my Pants on the Ground guy. I may only have one working arm, but I’ll cut a bitch up.

“Pants on the ground, pants on the ground…”

These R the Thoughts… January 27, 2010

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…that go through my head…

I think I have restless leg syndrome. My leg will NOT stay still!
I’m wearing a new cardigan from Ben Sherman today. I like it a lot.

I downloaded a slow version of “Poker Face” last night and am in love with it. I also like a song called “Giddy on Up, Giddy on out” and am ashamed how much I love it.

That Justin Beiber kid creeps me out.

Finally hopped on the Ke$ha train. Tik Tok indeed, my friend.

I’ve learned how to fall asleep on my right side (ish). However, when I wake up my arm hurts or is dead asleep. Perhaps some more practice.

I just don’t get this whole ‘ipad’ business.

I really like Jon Hamm with a beard. I like Jon Hamm without a beard. I like Jon Hamm.

And now some thoughts on Television.

Katy Perry on American Idol. Funny, honest, and fought with Kara. What more could I ask for? I was pleasantly surprised and while I’m sure she will never be on there again, I liked it. (just like kissing a girl. Get it?)
*I’ve been watching old ’30 Rock’ episodes before bed lately. Combined with those and the fact that the new eps have been so funny, I am convinced this is one of the greatest shows ever.

*I’m convinced that this is the most annoying season of ‘The Bachelor’ ever.

These girls are just plain awful and the only one I even remotely like is Ali. That being said I’d still let Jake hit it. I mean, I ain’t no foo’.

*There haven’t been any new ‘Melrose Place’s or ‘90210’s for almost two months. The sad thing? I really don’t miss them. Do you?

*The new season of RuPaul’s Drag Race starts Monday.

I’ve already seen the first episode, and I’m just as excited to watch it on Monday. Let’s hope this season is an eleganza extravaganza like the first one. Can’t wait!!!

*’The Office’ is just kinda there this season but the wedding between Jim and Pam was one of the greatest endings to any show ever. Also, the clip episode last week was exceptionally funny. ‘Parks and Recreation’ sucked last year. This year? One of the funniest things on tv. I encourage you to watch it. It’s frickin’ hilarious and doesn’t get the due it’s deserved.

*I miss ‘Glee.’

*I like to eat during ‘The Biggest Loser.’ Fatty food if preferred. I don’t know why. I’m not losing any weight watching people work out….it just doesn’t make sense.

*Rob Lowe is exiting ‘Brothers and Sisters’ and Calista Flockhart is reportedly going to have a reduced number of episodes so she can spend more time with her family.

I’ve always hated Rob’s character so good riddance but they better not take away my Kitty!! I love her, her character, she’s just phenomenal. The show won’t be the same without her.

*Same with Grey’s. I miss Kathryn Heigl when she’s gone.

But know who I don’t miss? George. Sorry T.R. Knight, but it’s true. Good thing you’ve got your looks and your 19-year old boyfriend going for you.

*I’m so excited for the new seasons of ‘Lost’ and ‘Survivor’ I could just pee myself.

*Please meet my new boyfriend.

His name is Matt Long, and he’s on a show called ‘The Deep End.’ The show kinda sucks. Norbert Leo Butz is on it and is awful. But Matt? DELISH.

*Ugly Betty.

No joke, I was going to write ya’ll and tell you that I was breaking up with Ugly Betty. Seriously, even though it has been good this year, I just don’t have time for it and I’m kind of over the show. THEN they had to go and tell me that they’re canceling the show this May. Good, right? NO!! Because NOW I have to watch it until the end. I’ve watched it for four years, I have to finish it out. Ugh. So annoying.

So those are my thoughts on the tv I’ve been watching lately. I swear I have a real social life, promise.

I’m Sorry, Mario Cantone January 26, 2010

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Dear Mario Cantone,

Yeah…..sorry about that. But in my defense you brought it upon yourself. Let me set the stage for you.

Last night I’m in bed and I’m watching the two retrospective pieces on the “Six Feet Under” dvd which then got me to think “Oh, I totally want to watch the retrospectives that they did about Sex and the City.” So I pop the dvd in, and press play. I’m watching, blah blah blah, then I need to pause for something. So when I look back to the tv, this is what I saw.

It was just too good to pass up.

So sorry about that Mario Cantone but MAN that’s a fugly face. Hilarious.

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