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Oooooh, Fiiiiiire April 30, 2010

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In a few short hours I’ll be lounging on a beach in the glorious Fire Island.  Okay, not true.  I’ll be on a train heading to the gay filled, tick filled, and probably rapist filled Island of Fire.  BUT I am still looking very much forward to it.  Don’t have much to report today.  More-O and I went grocery shopping last night for the first time and I discovered I am my mother.  Everything out of my mouth was “do you need that?”  “When are you going to have time to eat that?”  “We’re NOT getting that!”  Ai Dios Mio….he was tempted to pop a bottle of wine right there in the supermarket.  He’s a man with much patience…I’ll just say that. 

My parents, when we were little, used to not let us watch MTV.  After a while we could watch it, but couldn’t watch any Madonna videos.  I think they did that so that we wouldn’t grow up to be corrupted perverts.  Well….sorry mom and dad.  Christina Aguilera’s new video was released and……let me just say that my parents would NEVER have let us watch that video.


That’s all I got kiddies – enjoy the weekend.

I Wanna Fly Away April 29, 2010

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This day is flying by and I couldn’t be more happy of that fact.  Just a few more hours, Physical Therapy, Grocery Shopping, sleep, then a few more hours of work and then….it’s off to Fire Island!!  Yes, yes, tomorrow I shall be heading with mah boo and 8 of our closest friends for the first of six weekends in the tropical (gay) land known as Fire Island.  Is my body bathing suit ready?  Oh hell no.  But I guess I have a boyfriend….that shouldn’t matter…..right?  RIGHT?! 

Today is a special day because it’s my friend Queenton’s birthday.  Readers of BriTunes may know him more as “Q” which is his alias every time he comments…which is often…but that’s fine with me!!! 🙂  I’d like to tell you a story about Queenton.  The scene:  Utah State University.  I was a newly gay sophomore and Queenton was a transferring Sophomore (right?  You weren’t a Freshman Q, were you?)  I had a class with Queenton – I think it was costumes and shop class – and the moment I met him I said “that boy is gay.  G.A.Y.!”  Of course I said this about multiple other people, but we’ll get to that in a second.  Now I’ll have you know that my Gaydar is pretty damn good but with Queenton I didn’t need Gaydar.  Because that bitch was FLAMING.  Sorry Quentin, you know you were.  I said to him “you’s gay.”  And he was all “no I’s not!”  The kid hated me, no joke, for that entire first year we knew each other.  He didn’t like me telling him he was gay and I didn’t like him in the closet.  I was all “biiiiiiiiiitch please, you’s gay!”  Well…look at Queenton now:


Either incarnation, whichever you pick, the kid is GAY.  But we love him so much because of it and I can’t imagine my life without having met him.  I just wish we lived closer and I could see him more than once a year!  So Happy Birthday Queenton, I hope you have a “gay” ol time at karaoke tonight and remember – “Jumpin’ Jumpin” does NOT work as a karaoke song!”

Off to finish some work for the day but this?

is by FAR the coolest thing I’ve seen all day.  I wish I could do that……

Glee-Cap April 28, 2010

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Last night’s episode of Glee was a titch bit different than the first two, no?  After the high action of the Madonna episode it was only natural they would follow up with something a little out of the norm.  There were some high points, there were some low points – let’s discuss, yes?



Between Will “Don’t worry, we’ll find you a new HOME”

Quinn “You’ve always been at HOME in your body” April “HOOOOOOOMMMMMMMEEEEE!!!!” we were beat over the head with the title of the episode.  Sometimes I’m a little “how stupid do the writers think we are?  We’re no Brittany and Santana.”

Oh….how I love them so.  With the news that Naya and Heather are set to become series regulars next season, my heart beats for Brittany and Santana.  Every line delivery is so perfect whether it be Brit (“I think my cat is reading my diary”) OR Santana! (“Weren’t those outlawed in the late 80’s for being, like, totally lame?”  Plus, with Fire Island coming up this weekend I could really use Sue’s special shake (Maple syrup, lemon, cayenne pepper to irritate the bowels, and Ipicac, a vomiting agent).  Sounds yummy!!

Hey!!  Look who’s back!!

No, not ME…YOU!  April Rhodes!!  And where there’s April you know there’s going to be…..

…a DUET!!!  A big complaint that I have with Will Shuester is that he’s constantly singing so any time we get to hear him sing, it is YUMMY!  Although something that really bugged me (and this has been echoed by a few friends of mine) is that they had this awesome venue of a skating rink and while, yeah, April and Will sang something, why didn’t the New Directions kids do a big number?  A skating rink opens up so many possibilities to do a cool number some place other than the auditorium.  But whatever, I don’t write the show.

I know Cory, I’m confused why I don’t write the show too.  *Sigh* more Kurt and Finn stuff.  I mean, if I have to.

I get it.  Kurt sings in his falsetto.  But what surprises me is how much I really like his middle range and I wish they would utilize that a lot more.  I am O-V-E-R the falsetto and “House is Not a Home” bordered on painful.  The only redeeming part of the song was this shot

and when Puck said to Finn

“you’re gay?”

No Puck, he’s not gay but this song is totally gay.  And then we have Cory.  Ohhhhh Cory.  I thought your voice was getting better but then when you came in on this song it was like “eeeek!”  Nevermind the fact that he was singing to an urn in a chair.  Oh yes, you heard that right – AN URN IN A CHAIR.

Whatever.  There’s songs I like ( “Keep Holding On”) and songs I could totally do without (“Crazy In Love/Hair” mash-up, anyone?).  This song definitely lands in the latter category.

April basically invites herself to stay at Will’s apartment where they sing about how lonely they are. 

Matt in a tight T, yum.  Here’s my complaint with the Will/April storyline this episode:  It did nothing to move their storyline’s further.  Sure, April got some money but she’s now heading to New York, just like she was last time she left.  I think it would have been smart (and funny) for them to sleep together.  It would have given their characters some “OOMPH” this episode.  As it was though, they had another gorgeous duet and I tell you what…it was GORGEOUS.  I want to hug it like a pillow.

And that scene with them in bed at the end holding hands?

Ugh.  So cute.  These two work amazing together and I will welcome April Rhodes back ANY time she wants to visit. 

While I was a little “ugh, the dad and the gay kid storyline AGAIN” at the beginning of the episode, Kurt really brought forth some nice emotion

and I have to say I related very much with the dad who wants to spend time with the sports inclined “son” as opposed to the homo son.  Hit a bit close to home.  Wah Wah.  Kind of funny when he said “who went with you to see Riverdance five years in a row?!”  It’s a known fact that my father has seen RENT more than once.  🙂

Mercedes is trying to lose weight.  And it’s hard.  GURL, I get it!!  And how many times has this happened to me?

Honestly, if I look at you funny every now and then it’s very possible I’m picturing you as a giant hamburger or Mike and Ike.  

The scene with Quinn and Mercedes in the nurse’s office was….ugh.  So amazing. 

Dianna Aragon is by FAR one of the best actresses on this show and I love love love her portrayal of Quinn.  She can do so much to me with just one little look!

Then Mercedes gets to break it down AND make everyone feel good about themselves at the same time!!

The first time I watched this episode I was like “ugh, Beautiful?  Really?”  But then when the entire choir joined in one by one….

You KNOW my ass was a blubbering mess.

Sue makes me nervous.

Seriously, I’m like, scared to see what she’s going to do by the end of the season.  Her faces when she was having the meeting with the cheerleading guy though, were priceless.  I’m going to lump Jane Lynch in the “best of the best” as far as actors go on the show as well.  A person that does not make the list?  Other Asian.  Homeboy should stick to dancing, I’mma just sayin’.

Enjoyed the scene with Finn and Burt in the kitchen.

Who knew Mike O’Malley was such a good actor??!!  I thought he only had Time Warner Cable commercials and the Nickelodeon show GUTS in him!  When he was talking about how he’ll treasure Finn’s mom “as long as she’ll have him”….AGAIN!  It got me!  This show makes me feel emotions!!  Why?  WHY??!!!

We said goodbye to April with a gorgeous rendition of “Home” and while I agree with More-O in that the song needs more SOUL and therefore should be sung by a sista, I thought it was a beautiful (nay, beaUUUtiful) version.

When Quinn looked at Mercedes and homegirl had tears streaming down her face?


And then April/Kristin Cheno did her Nazi salute with a BIG note and the episode was ovah.

Like I said, redeeming moments but on the whole not my favorite episode of the show ever.  But we’re going to have those!!  Not every ep can be totally perfect.  Next week’s looks good and Jesse and Rachel singing “Total Eclipse of the Heart?”  Yes please!  So what did you guys think?  And Heidi – I know you hated it.  No need to post again how much you hated the episode.  🙂


Show Me That Smile Again April 28, 2010

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Or don’t.

Seriously, WHAT is up with this girls’ smile??!!  In case you don’t remember from last week, please reference previous exhibits A and B.

Honey, you gotsta get your act together!  People can see you, yo!

Did Somebody Say ‘Baby?!’ April 28, 2010

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Yo, Sandra Bullock, whatchu been keepin’ from us???!!

Sandra has been a BUSY little bee lately, no?  Between winning an Oscar and filing for divorce now she’s got a baby!?  Well you go on with your self gurl and look at you with that cute little black baby.  That baby is throwin’ some shade though – he’s all “whatchu lookin’ at Willis?”  He looks like a cross between the black Michael Jackson and Samuel L. Jackson.  “I don’t want no Motherfu$$kin Snakes on this Motherfu**in People Magazine cover!!”


Tales From the Red Carpet April 27, 2010

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Last night was the Broadway opening of “Promises, Promises” which stars Kristin Chenoweth and Sean Hayes. 

More-O is jonesing to see this.  I, on the other hand, have my reservations.  However, I’m a good boyfriend and therefore I’ll be caving and going to see this with him (despite the fact it was described to me as being ‘raped by 70’s elevator music).  In looking at the Broadway.com red carpet photos, I have a few comments.


Dear Sutton Foster and Megan McGinnis,

Ya’ll need some sun.  Stat.

Uncle Jesse is seriously so hot.

Liza with a Z?  Less hot.  But still hot.  Even less hot than Liza?

This girl was only in the slideshow once.  And this is her picture.  The poor thing.  No need to be embarrassed, I’m embarrassed for you.

Note to this lady’s date:

I wouldn’t take off that clown collar if I were you.  I’m thinking it’s possibly keeping her head on.


Why you gotsta be so perfect??

Oh Hugh Jackman, why you gotsta be so gay?

Oh Alfred Molina, why you gotsta be so…Alfred Molina-y?

This man was described as having an “attractive family.”

I presume they were making a joke?

Since when is Bobby Cannavale Mexican?

DAYUM, Ace Young!

This is Sean Haye’s partner.

SERIOUSLY!??!  You FINNNALLY come out of the closet and THAT’S your boyfriend??!!  You so crazy.

Candy Spelling and Kristin Chenoweth are here…

…here to take you to their planet, that is.  Seriously ya’ll, that’s some ‘when aliens attack’ shit right thurr.

Look, I said I would try and blog more often but I didn’t make any “promises promises” about being nice!!!


I Want My Glee-TV April 26, 2010

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We’re currently 15 episodes in to the first season of “Glee” and while there have been a few songs here and there I haven’t been too terribly fond of (“You’re Havin’ My Baby,” anyone?) I think for the most part they’ve done a great job of keeping it interesting and fresh.  The other day, More-O asked me what I thought my “perfect” Glee episode would be like, ie. what songs I would want to see in an episode.  I took it upon myself to sit down and pick a collection of songs that not only would be awesome on screen, but also songs that work in the context of the story and make sense.  The episode that I put together basically picks up where we are in the season, with New Directions rehearsing for Regionals, the love triangles, etc.  So without further ado I present….


In the previous episode, the girls all broke up with their respective beau’s over separate manners.  Jesse and Finn asked Rachel to choose between the two of them, Puck gave Quinn just a little too much ‘tude, Santana realized she had true feelings for Finn and ended all contact with him, and Tina saw Artie flirting with someone else and broke up with him.  Emma found out Will and Idina Menzel hooked up (thanks to Sue) and therefore ended all possibility of them having a relationship.  Kurt is sad that Finn will never love him, and Mercedes was pining away for the new kid in school, only to find out that he too was a big ‘ol mo.  So that’s where we find ourselves at the beginning of the episode – the boys have a mash-up that they perform through the halls of the school saying how angry they are that they were all dumped.  The mash-up includes:

“Angry Young Man by Billy Joel

Song For the Dumped” by Ben Folds Five

and Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know.”

The girls are all in the choir room before Glee rehearsel and are lamenting over how sad they are.  Even though they were the ones that broke up with the guys, they all miss them.  Kurt joins them all and they sing Elton John’s “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues” but it’s the version that Mary J. Blige sings and of course you know Mercedes gonna take that part and break it down at the end. 

Mr. Shue senses that something is wrong between the kids and encourages them to pick a song to work on that promotes unity and love.  None of the New Directions kids are happy, but they reluctantly agree to try and choose something as a group.  After class is over, Santana approaches Finn and separately Quinn approaches Puck.  They try to grovel a bit, try to get their guys back, but the guys are still mad and call them both “a bitch.”  This leads us to Quinn and Santana (joined by the amazing Brittany) to sing “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks.

Halfway through the song, Sue Sylvester randomly joins in.

In the next scene with Sue, we see her run into Emma in the ladies room.  Emma is clearly still upset and encourages Emma to get revenge on Will by hooking up with someone herself.  Emma is reluctant but Sue convinces her that the “only way to get over someone, is to get it on with someone else.” 

Jesse and Finn are heartbroken as they both have real feelings for Rachel, but they don’t know how to deal with their newfound pain.  They’ve moved on from their anger and are now just as sad and miserable as Rachel is.  They’re discussing how bad they’re hurting outside their lockers when Rachel runs in to both of them.  Confused and scared, she tries to say something, but ends up turning down the hall and running away.  Finn and Jesse then sing “Don’t Turn Around” by Ace of Base.

Will Shuster, even though he preached about love and unity to the choir, is just as sad as the kids.  He has been trying to find Emma around school for the past two days but hasn’t seen her anywhere.  Suddenly, he spots her in her office, except she’s not alone.  He opens the door and sees her making out with the janitor.  Upset, he slams the door and storms away and we then see a mash-up of him singing Justin Timerlake’s “What Goes Around Comes Around

mixed with Britney Spears’ “…Baby One More Time

and finally we’re joined by the Cheerios, led by a pregnant Quinn, singing “I’m a Slave 4 U” in the gym.

Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina are still sad, but are sick and tired of it.  Before Glee rehearsel in the auditorium, the three of them have an intimate moment and try to get out of their funk with a beautiful version of Alanis Morissette’s “That I Would Be Good

mashed up with Pink’s “Don’t Let Me Get Me,” which the rest of the choir joins them in singing. 

Finn, seeing how upset Rachel is, walks up and apologizes and Rachel does the same.  They realize that they really do share the same feelings and sing “Nobody Wants to Be Lonely.”

Throughout the song we see the rest of the couples making up and at the end of the song Rachel and Finn make up.  They’re together…for now.  Jesse sees this happening and we are left with him having an evil look on his face and making eye contact with Sue Sylvester.  Sue nods, Jesse nods.  They’re in on something…but what?  Unfortunately we won’t find out this episode as the camera pans back to the auditorium and we see the song that the kids picked to sing about love and unity:  a Kurt-solo heavy “Rainbow Connection

mashed up with  Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours”

Sounds like an awesome episode, RIGHT?  Sure it’s a little pop-heavy and sure there are a lot of ballads/mash-ups and sure there are a lot of duets but WHO CARES – it’s MY EPISODE!!

By the way, I call copyright!!  Ryan Murphy if I see this on the tele, I better get some royalties out of it….

Annnnnd….roll credits.

Just ‘Cuz April 26, 2010

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Whitney Houston.

Just ‘cuz.  How’s THAT for a scary Monday morning sight??!!!

A Little Help From My Friends April 23, 2010

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In this post, I’d like to give a few shout-outs.  Why?  I dunno.  Do shout-outs need to happen for a reason? 

YO!!  Friday!!  Thank GOD you’re here!!

No…not that Friday…sheesh!  For whatever reason this week has felt like the longest sonofabitch evah.  All I can say is that, even if this weekend is boring and awful, it’ll make up for the shitatious week I’ve had.   High points of the week included:  $3 PBR’s at the dodgeball afterparty on Monday, discovering that pretzels and M&M’s are delicious on Tuesday, Turkey burgers and making fun of Idol Gives Back on Wednesday, and date night with More-O on Thursday.  Oh yeah, about that.


Shout-Out to More-O for an awesome date night last night (Arriba Arriba!)  Even though he yelled at our cab driver…he’s still an awesome BF and I have so much fun with him.  He showed me the GLEE application for the Iphone where you can sing along to Glee songs and they auto tune your voice.  It made me laugh SO HARD.  It basically just makes you sound like T. Pain, which is hilarious.  I will be using that application much more in the future.

*K. Doyle
K. was my favorite professor at Utah State, where I went to collage.  And yes, I meant to spell it ‘collage.’  K. was amazing because he actually *was* an actor (unlike multiple professors at my school) and therefore could give first-hand advice and tutelage.  He treated every student as an equal and even partied with us outside of school.  He had this “real” way of talking to you where it was like he just *got* you and my experience with him when he directed me in “Forum” was a highlight (if not the highlight) of my college experience.  I got wind today that K. will be leaving USU in 2011 and while it makes me sad that future generations will not be able to learn from this amazing man, it makes me completely joyus that he will be moving on to bigger and, trust me, much better things.  And yeah, he’s a total DILF, I’m not ashamed to admit it.

I have many kellys in my life who have made a big difference. 
Kelly Clarkson

From “The Office,” Kelly Kapoor

and of course, Kelly Kapowski.

But this particular Kelly surpases them all.  So happy birthday to my dear, dear Kelly G.

I hope your day is amazing!!  Miss you!

*Bill and Barb
My parents are currently on their way to LA.  After LA they will jump on a cruise ship…which is going to Hawaii.  A well-deserved trip, have fun, but you bastards!!!

Bobby, I don’t know where you be (what, do you think you have a baby or something?!?!) but my fragile heart misses you.  I hope that your well and that your Ginger baby is being good.  Come back soon.

*My Sister
I’m trying to convince my sister to come out to New York for a few days and see the Glee concert with More-O and I.  We have an extra ticket which I’m paying for, all she needs to do is find a flight.  So as a shout-out to her I’d like to entice her to come by showing her this:

Cory’s waiting for you, Melissa.  Come get him.

*Livin’ on a Spare
While our bowling team did not have the opportunity to play for first place, we ended coming in SECOND PLACE for the season!!!!

I’m so proud of our team, I can’t even tell you.  We will be celebrating tonight with a wonderful all you can drink wine and chinese dinner.  Huzzah boys, huzzah.

To those of you who didn’t recieve shout-outs, I’m sorry.  So many shout-outs, so little time.  Know that I love you all! 

Did I mention I’m happy it’s Friday?

UGH!  Would you two go away??!!

Whatever Happened to Predictability? April 22, 2010

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Happy Thursday – we’re ALMOST THERE!!!  I had a lovely night last night, decompressing from the hell that has been my week so far and enjoying some Wednesday night TV.  Top Model was ‘meh’ as its been for almost the whole season although I LURVE me some Alasia!  Fresh Meat Challenge was pretty good and had Page Six and myself on the edge of our seats for the end of the episode.  And then we have Idol.  Ooohhhhhh Idol.  Not ONLY have you made me FOURTH FROM LAST in my Idol pool because you’re the most UNPREDICTABLE season EVER, but you also took up 2.5 hours of my life last night with your awful “Idol Gives Back” special.  Well, a fast forwarded 2.5 hours – please – you think I got that kinda time?  I fear there is no catching up in the pool at this point and in the past I would just “watch for fun” but it’s more painful to watch than anything else.  I don’t even have any eye candy now that Tim’s gone!

Oh Tim.  I shall miss your abs and your smile but not your songs or you really.  Now get a haircut. 

On Tuesday American Idiot had its Broadway premiere and some celebs were spotted on the red carpet.  A few pictures stood out to me:

Uh….Melania?  Aren’t you supposed to be a former model?  What’s up with that face?  You are not giving face face face beauty face, that’s for sure.  What’s up with the lack of smizing?!

I think this guys’ in a band…or something.  I’ve seen him around and remember him because his head scarves annoy me.  You can now add his face, outfit, and accessories to the list of things that annoy me.  Hot MILF-y wife, though.

Michael Urie is friggin cute as hell.  I’ll let him play me in a movie any day.

I don’t know who these guys are but they bug me.

Ben Foster!!!  Eek!!!  What happened???!!!!  This isn’t American History X, what’s with the hair and the stache and….yeesh!!!

Aw, Zachary Quinto and Kristen Davis!!  Wait…you mean that’s not Kristen Davis?  You lie….

This is the lead chick from the show.  She really shouldn’t smile like that….why doesn’t she smile with her teeth?

Eeeeyyikkes!  I see why, I see why!! Close your mouth, close it!!!!

As a final, parting thought of the day….

This made me laugh very hard this morning.

Love it.  A sharpie can fix anything!!!