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“Nice Hat” May 27, 2010

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SJP, can we have a chat?

Why do you do this to me?  Do I love it?  Do I hate it?  I DON’T KNOW!!!  Yes it’s fashion forward and yes it’s out there but is it ugly?  I suppose it’s not a bird on your head but…I mean…yo.  What is it with you and the hats!?  I just don’t get it.  Still love ya though!

Busy, stressful day today peeps.  Sorry for not really blogging.  Tonight I have the dodgeball end of year party and then tomorrow is my last day of physical therapy!  Hard to believe I’m graduating already!  Tomorrow night of course….is GLEE LIVE!!  You KNOW my ass is excited for that!

I promise we’ll talk more tomorrow.  PEACE, my PEEPS.

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Editor’s Note May 27, 2010

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People.

My brother really likes KISS.  You know what I meant.  Get your heads out of the gutter, I mean really.  Now stop emailing me about it.

Glee-Cap May 26, 2010

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GaGa Ra a Aha…Roma Ro Ma Ma…GaGa Ooh La La….Want your late Glee-Cap!

Hi guys….are you mad at me?  I know, I know…the Glee-Cap is totally really and 100% late!  But if it makes you feel any better, I set up a second interview for tomorrow…I had a delicious salad with More-O for lunch…I saw a new movie at a screening…I picked up my new glasses without paying a cent…and I picked up my laundry!!  See?  TOTALLY productive!!  I do owe you a Glee-Cap though so without further ado…

THEATRICALITY

We start out this very special episode with an homage to a phenomenon that’s sweeping the nation:  Fat girls

I’m just kidding, silly!!  Of course it’s VAMPIRE FEVER!!!  Figgins is getting scared because a bunch of people have been dressing up like vamps and attacking people like Jacob Israel (you know, the nerdy kid with the ‘fro).  Because Tina also dresses “goth” he suspects that she is also in on this “biting people” trend.  Tina, however, hasn’t even seen Twilight.

Tina:  “My mom said that Kristen Stewart seems like a bitch.”

You know Tina, you and I have had our differences across the years, I know we have.  Your character doesn’t have much to do, and when she does you’re kind of annoying.  And yeah, sometimes I can’t understand what you say because you say your lines so fast.  But on this particular subject, I say we agree on it quite well.

Hate your face!!!!!!!

Okay, back to the matter at hand.

Huzzah!!  Kurt’s dad and mom are still doing well.  They’re doing SO WELL, in fact, that they’re going to move in together!  Obviously Kurt is happy about this because he gets to lust over Finn and blah blah blah.  Well of course Finn isn’t stoked about this but that’s only because later on in the episode there has to be some big drama over this situation.  You knew it had to happen sooner or later…

Back in class, Tina is no longer dressing like a Gothic stereotype and instead

gets to wear this lovely monstrosity!  Honestly, I’m fine with Tina’s boring storyline, as long as we don’t have to suffer through Artie any more.  Now he’s the pits.

Rachel discovers that Vocal Adrenaline is doing a Gaga number for Regionals which leads Mr. Shuester to steal their idea and have the assignment of the week be Gaga numbers.  Oh Mr. Shuester, you’re so predictable.  And awful.  But this does give Rachel the opportunity to produce a hilarious line:

Rachel:  “Pens.  Pens.  I need pens.  Ideas, coming, brainstorming, too many ideas…”

The way Lea delivered it was amazing.

Oh hi Idina!

What’s that you say?  You’re going to teach your choir kids about theatricality by singing a COMPLETELY BORING Barbara Streisand song?  Well all right, if you say so.

Annnnnd…scene.  But wait, what’s that Rachel?

Rachel:  “Ms. Corcoran?  I’m your daughter.”

OHHHHHHHH SNAP.

I loved when they were having this conversation and talking about how dramatic the whole situation was and how Rachel said “even the way we’re sitting is dramatic.”  Having Idina as her mom was a genius move, but I’m already a little snoooooze over the situation.

Speaking of mom’s….

Diana Argon is totally going to be a MILF.  She and Puck had some talk about how Puck wanted to name the baby “Jack Daniels” and that was that.  On to more exciting things….

GAGA.

Honestly all the outfits were awesome.  Santana and Brittany, however?

They take the sexy cake.  YUM!

Rachel, meanwhile, looks like a Beanie Baby threw up on her.

It’s exactly what a Rachel – Gaga outfit would be though, so I thought it was brills.  Then we had the actual performance:

My little Monsters were Rocking it OUT!  I loved the very theatric way it was filmed too, brills.  And how sexy was Santana?

Honestly they need to show her belting more.  That high “want your bad romance” that she did was HOT!!!

I really wish we had seen a Vocal Adrenaline performance.  They had these amazing outfits

an entire catalog of Gaga songs…and they did nothing with them but dance!  For shame.  Also…WHERE WAS JESSE?  Yo, he’s a PART of New Directions now.  Why wasn’t he in class AT ALL?  I’m getting a liiiiiittle annoyed by the fact that they have giant plot holes week to week.  But whatevs.

The boys performance was also whatevs.

Unlike my brother, KISS just doesn’t give me a boner.  I’m sorry but it was like “oh cute, they’re dressed up like KISS” but then I was all “okay, is the song done yet?”  Plus, we got to see something we’ve NEVER SEEN BEFORE:

Surprise, surprise, Finn is drumming again.  Bleh.

He was kind of adorable in his KISS makeup though…

How about that scene between Finn, Kurt, and Kurt’s dad though.  I mean, right?  They done WENT THERE.  Finn wasn’t liking the “faggy lamp,” or the “faggy blanket” in the bedroom that Kurt designed and he was fa-reaking out.  Look – the blanket and the lamp WERE faggy, but Kurt’s dad got ALL UP IN Finn’s face.


He was all “WHAT did you just call my son?”  And Finn’s face…

I mean, good for them for going to a place most mainstream network shows won’t dare go to but….ugh.

I’m O-V-E-R Kurt’s ‘crying because of gay things’ face.  Enough already.  Let’s hopefully wrap up this storyline fast…mostly because I’m tired of crying over it.  This scene image?

Killed me.

As did this song.

Beth?  F’real?  Between this and “Havin’ My Baby” I don’t know what is up with all of the baby songs and with them being so AWFUL.  At the very least we got to see some glamor shots of Diana Agron.


GORGEOUS.

“Here Rachel.  I’m your mom and I never want to talk to you ever again.  Have a cup.”

“Okay mom, thanks.  Will you sing with me, just once?”

Love love LOVE how Rachel yelled for Brad and he just appeared

to which Rachel said “he’s always just kind of there.”

Brills.

Then came “Poker Face.”  I’ve listened to this song more times than I would like to admit on my ipod but when I saw it in the context of the show I was mostly just distracted by their facial expressions


and by the fact that they were singing about how their “Muffins” weren’t “bluffin.”  Odd.

Tina brought it back though, with her terrorizing of Principal Figgins.

“Asian vampires are the most vicious of all the vampires.”


Good for you, Tina.  See you again in another ten episodes.

Rounding out the episode was a lovely message brought on by Finn.  Kurt was being terrorized because he’s gay (obviously) but then here comes Finn to save the day, or the gay, as it were.

But wait, Finn.  Those football guys can totally take you down!


Good thing you’ve got….

the rest of the GLEE CLUB TO SAVE YOU!!!!!  Cute ending.  The freaks come to save the day.  Or the gay, as it were.  All of a sudden, from the shadows, we hear a slow clap.  It can be no one other than…

Shuester.  Here comes Will to give us some schmaltzy message about…I don’t know about what.  I tuned how the minute he started slow clapping.  All in all though, I loved the episode.  I can’t believe there are only two episodes left!!!!  The good news is that they start filming in July so the show will be back before you know it!

Sorry the Glee-cap was late today kiddles.  I’ll be traveling next Wednesday so hopefully I’ll be able to get it out a little earlier.  Until next week, get cho freak on!!

Good Things Come… May 26, 2010

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Sorry kids, the Glee-cap won’t be up until later this afternoon…with the possibility of it not going up until tomorrow.


Kurt!!!  There’s no need to get so angry!!  I’m sorry, it’s just that I got a late start to my day and I’ve deemed the gym and lunch with my boyfriend more important than all of you.  You understand, right?

But have no fear – the Gleecap, like the Gaga episode, will be EPIC.

Sex and the City 2.0 May 25, 2010

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Yeah, I was there.

Last night a true dream came true when I was given the opportunity to attend the Sex and the City 2 premiere at Radio City.  I mean…what?!?  I dressed up in my finest, grabbed Kaka Kido and a cosmo, and settled in our seats for a long winters trip to Abu Dabi.  On the jumbo screens we got to view the red carpet and all the stars coming and going.  You know, stars like…Jennifer Love Hewitt…Vanessa Williams…um…I think I saw Howard Stern…but there was one giant star we saw on the big screen.  More-O’s job at the premiere was to walk Kim Cattrall down the red carpet.  Yo.  F’real.  There he is.

I was a very, VERY proud boyfriend.  And he looked goooood too!

A really cool moment for me was seeing all four girls up on stage introducing the movie.  It was crazy having them up so close!  Another cool moment?

FREE POPCORN!!!!

The movie itself is awesome.  I saw it last week at a screening and it was just as enjoyable the second time around.  It’s a fun, hilarious romp of a movie.  Ten times better than the first movie.  Due to the fact that security was tight (and I wanted to get to the dodgeball party) I didn’t go to the after party but after fighting my way through the throngs and throngs of cougars and girls in shimmery dresses, it was time to leave the magical world of

A big thanks to More-O for a magical night and to Kaka for being my hot hot date.

Tonight on Glee?

GAGA.

Lost about Lost? May 24, 2010

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Wait….WHAT?

I’m not sure I have any idea what happened on the Lost series finale last night and I don’t know that I’m going to try and figure it out on here.  I’ve read some theories and they seeeeem to make sense?  At any rate, I had a fun little Lost party at Anthony’s place last night and all the usuals were there.  Ben had a fun little idea to bring “Mr. Clucks” chicken (which is a reference on the show).  More-O took a picture of it and guess who was caught in the background chowing down?


Like you had ANY doubt?  Sigh….

Week #2 of unemployment is going AWESOME.  Went to the gym…made lunch…submitted a resume…WOOHOO!  But seriously things have been going pretty okay.  I even have an interview on Thursday so that has helped me to keep positive and optimistic.  Another exciting thing is that tonight I’ll be going with Kaka Kido to the premiere of….

Oh yes.  Sex and the City 2 at Radio City!!  I’ve already seen the movie (and it’s awesome) but I’m super excited to go to the actual premiere.  You know I’m gonna dress it up RIL nice.

That’s all I got today.  Hope all my peeps are doing well!

Retreat! Retreat! May 23, 2010

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Three days gone by and no blog post?  Bad BriTunes…bad…

My apologies but I’ve been focusing on other necessities, such as going to the gym and trying to find a new job.  Something that was NOT a necessity?  Eating multiple Tootsie Roll pops in bed last night.  Bad BriTunes..bad….currently I am still in bed, hoping to cleanse my movie palate.  But I’ll get to that in a bit.

Yo, who watched Grey’s Anatomy on Thursday?

This show has definitely been having an “off” season, but the season finale was the JAM, yo!!!  I’m sure there are some of you out there who haven’t seen it so I won’t spoil anything but I was on the edge of my seat from start to finish.  Awesome way to go out.

More-O took a trip to see his sister graduate this weekend so yesterday I crossed water and hung out with Kaka Kido and company.  We had a lovely barbeque on the roof and then hung out for a few hours.  I got home at a reasonable time last night so I decided to watch a movie I’ve been trying to watch for months now – “Couple Retreat.”

So first of all, you have my best friend Kristen Bell, who can do zero wrong.  Then you add Jason Bateman and Jon Faverau who pretty much add coolness and hilarity to anything they touch.  Vince Vaughn thrown in for a little humor, Kristen Davis for some style, and Malin Ackerman for some cuteness.  Oh yeah, and then throw in two black nobodies for some street cred.  Can’t forget the street cred.  Everyone said very bad things about this movie, but I refused to believe them.  How could my Kristen Bell ever be part of something that is awful?  It’s just not possible.

Let me tell you…

This movie is AWFUL.  AW-FUL.

I guarantee you the cast laughed more while taking this picture than they did while watching the movie.  The movie’s not funny, doesn’t make sense and makes children cry.  And by ‘children’ I mean me.  The pits.  The one redeemable moment is Carlos Ponce in a speedo and the delivery of a few of Bell’s lines.

Sigh…poor K.Bell.  I’m now trying to watch the new “Alice in Wonderland” as I’ve heard good things but I’m an hour in and kind of bored.  Dude – they just don’t make movies like they used to.  Whatever happened to the “Sister Act 2’s” of the world?  The “Bring It On’s?!”  The “Adventures in Babysitting?!”  It’s a sad, sad world we live in…

He’s On to Me! May 19, 2010

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Ya’ll know how much I love Cruz Beckham, right?  And by “love” I mean “hate.”  The little punk gave me the evil eye at a Spice Girls concert once and ever since then…why I oughta….but now.  Oh God, now.

Brooklyn Beckham.  He saw me.  I alway knew he was the smartest of the three Beckham boys (Cruz being the DUMBEST, obviously) and now he’s outsmarted me.  He’s found out where I am and he’s coming for me!!  Send help, fast.

No…that’s not….

Ugh, really?  The Mexican Avengers?

Oh come.  On.  The Polynesian X-Men aren’t any better…

Now this is just ridiculous.  Screw it.  I’ll take care of it myself.

Editor’s Note May 19, 2010

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I need to make a correction to my previously posted Glee-Cap.

My boyfriend does not hate the Glee-Caps.

He does not ‘dog’ them and he does appreciate them.

He is a wonderful human being and I love him very much.

I look forward to bringing you more Glee-Caps in the future and to having you and my boyfriend appreciate them.

You may now go on with your day.

Glee-Cap May 19, 2010

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Surprised to see me?  You didn’t think that just because I don’t have a job I was going to leave you hanging on the Glee-caps!!  I mean come on!  What kind of blogger do you think I am??!!  And even though my boyfriend doesn’t appreciate them and the hard work I put into them (and I quote:  “the Glee-caps aren’t my favorite”) I know there are some of you out there who like them.  Like the Glee-caps?  Let me know!!  I need fodder to use when the boy starts dogging them.  But even if there’s only one person out there who likes them, I’ll still do them…because if there’s one thing I like talking about…it’s GLEE!!!

DREAM ON

I may get some hate mail after saying what I’m about to say but….I think this was one of my least favorite Glee episodes ever.  I know!!  I know!!! What’s wrong with me?!  It had a Rachel song, it had Matt Morrison singing, a great guest star, Idina singing, etc.  But there was just something about it that was….boring to me.  I think it had to do with the Artie storyline – it was just such a SNOOZE-FEST.  We get it.  You’re crippled.  You want to dance.  Nothing new there.  But still, it had a few fun moments and it wasn’t the WORST episode ever (deaf choir, anyone?)

Oh hey NPH, what up?!

Cute Cute Cute.  Honestly, Neil Patrick Harris can do no wrong.  He’s such a talented and versatile (here’s hoping) actor.  And despite the fact that his character Bryan Ryan hit a bit…ahem…close to home (I had TWO people say he was like me) I just thought he was kind of boring.  He didn’t have any great ZINGERS, or any quirk to him.  Loved the mullet though.


Of course he and Will had a history and of course it was a rivalry.  Something tells me Will has a hard time getting along with ANYONE.  Emma?  Sue?  Terri?  Ken?  Rachel?  Bryan?  Principal Figgins?  Just adding more fuel to my “Will Shuester is a douche” argument…I’m just sayin’…

Bryan is an old member of Glee club who, when the “cruise ship circuit dried up” joined the school board.  He now runs a support group for Showtune-aholics that includes people like the awesome guy from “Best in Show”

and Molly Shannon!

Okay, I know her character hasn’t been in much but I kiiiiinda love her.  She’s exactly like an SNL character Molly would play but I’m totally okay with that.

Bryan visited the Glee Club and asked them all to write down their “dreams” so he could promptly take their papers and crumple them up.  Puck dreams of a threesome, Rachel dreams to be a big star but Quinn dreams of

Yo, Quinn is quickly turning into one of my favorite characters.  I j’adore her so hard.  Not as much as Brittany (of course) but I still j’adore her.  People I don’t really j’adore?


Ugh….Artie….your storyline I mean…do we hafta?

Oh yay!!!  Jesse’s back!!!  Huzzah!  I love that he went away for a bit on “Spring Break” (also known as having tons and tons of gay sex because Jesse is clearly G-A-Y) and now he’s back and everything is hunkie dorie with Rachel.  But wait – he’s going to help her find her real mom!  The plot thickens…


Ugh.  And now we’re back to these two?  Artie is trying to walk, I can pretty much guess how this is going to turn out…with his ass on the ground.

Yay!!!  Back to Rachel and Jesse!!!  I was very much amused by Rachel’s assessment of why Patti Lupone could very well be her mother.  Or Bernadette Peters.  Honey – your mom is Idina.  If you can’t have Patti or Bernadette, be happy with Idina.

Bryan Ryan and Will were having beers so Matt Morrison could convince Bryan to not shut down the Glee club.  Bryan then broke down and lamented about how his amazing Glee Club life sucks now.  He then cried into his beer and started singing Piano Man.  I have also been known to do all of the above.

And I’ve also used a beer bottle as a microphone…multiple times…

Annnnnnd we’re back to these two.

I like that shot though.  Very pretty.

Uh Oh….what are you up to Jesse St. Croix or whatever your last name is……

FINALLY, something worthy of my time!

Oh, actually I mean the “audition” between Will and Bryan while they sing “Dream On.”

Can you tell there’s a “dream” theme this week?  Yeah, in case you couldn’t almost every song has the word “dream” in it.  Thank you Captain Obvious Ryan Murphy!!!!  However, this performance was awesome and even better when I watched it the second time around.


The big news was that Joss Weadon (of Buffy fame) was directing this episode and I think that was part of what didn’t work for me.  It didn’t feel like a “Glee” episode to me.  The one cool thing I liked that he did was Artie’s big dream sequence.


It went from a simple dance number to a huge flash mob which is totally a trend right now.


And there have been multiple Glee flash mobs so I thought it was nice nod to a phenomenon that is current.  One point goes to you, Mr. Wheadon.  Or however the hell you spell your name.

Bryan?  Sue.

Sue?  Bryan.

And then the two of them did it in a room upstairs that Sue had hidden away from everyone.  Kind of “like Letterman.”  Neil is gay and Jane is a les so them doing it is gross and moving on…

…to Idina in a car talking about her child!!


Between Quinn, Emma, and now Idina crying in the car I’m kind of like “is that ALL girls do in Ohio?  Cry in cars in the rain?”  Having lived in Ohio for three months I can with much assurance that – YES – that IS all they do!

Emma had a quick scene with that Artie kid…snooze..

and then we got more Idina!!!

I love her but…homegirl’s face is NOT really made for TV.  How much does she look like Lea though?

It really is kind of freaky and it’s brilliant casting on the show’s part to have Idina be a part of it.  I mean, look!  They both even scream alike!!


The two of them sing “Poker Face” together next week and I cannot WAIT to see how they do it.  I’m wet with anticipation just THINKING about the Gaga episode!!!

Seeing as it is an Artie episode, of course we have to end with a number from him.  A SNOOZE number, of course.

It did give us a chance to see Tina’s huge ta-ta’s, though.

Seriously, WHERE did those come from??!!

Artie was all sad that he couldn’t dance with Tina and that she had to tap with Other Asian instead, so Quinn gave him a supportive hand.

She’s so subtle, so perfect, I love Quinn s’much!!!!  It’s the little moments that she does that just GET me.  Excited to see more of her this last half of the season and to see her give birth.  I mean, I’m not like excited to SEE her give birth, that’s just gross, but I’m excited to see the events…ah hell.  Nevermind.

Next week is the Gaga episode and I think you’re all going to go GAGA over it!  See what I did there?