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Glee-Cap September 29, 2010

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Omigosh, HI!!

I didn’t even notice you standing there!!  Eek, I’m so sorry for neglecting you.  I guess I was too busy fitting in to this red pleather jump suit.  I know, I know, I’m sorry – I always do this!!  It’s like, I’m so self-absorbed in my own life that I just forget about you and look what happened here – I did it again!  Oops.

I have a feeling I can make it up to you though.  How about…some candy.  No?  What about…I take you to a movie.  You’re too busy to hang out with me?  Fine, no biggie.  How about….a GLEECAP!!!  HUZZAH!

Britney/Brittany

OmGlee, how excited was I for this episode?  I kind of knew going in that this episode wasn’t really going to crazy advance the plot along, and I was right.  The Madonna episode was sort of the same thing – it’s an awesome stand alone episode but doesn’t really have any MASSIVE plot points and I’m okay with that.  Glee is like “Lost” in that way.  Some episodes had a lot going on and some were just fun.  And amazing.  And filled with Britney Spears.

S0 we start out with Lame-O Will trying to give the class an assignment of Adult Contemporary.

Why does Will do this, you may ask?  Because he is lame.  Moving on.  Love that Cardigan though.  Okay, now moving on.

Kurt then says that a Facebook group has been started (5 whole members!) supporting the Glee club singing Britney Spears.  And the crowd goes wild!  Everyone loves the idea!  Britney is why T-T-Tina wanted to be a singer (seriously?  Britney sings?) Britney grew up with Rachel or something like that!  And Artie, yo, Artie thinks that Britney is fierce, yo. Yo. 

But he doesn’t use ‘fierce’ in the proper ‘fierce’ sense, he uses it in the ‘I like to talk like a black man’ sense.  Seriously, WHAT is up with that?  I’m as over him pretending he’s a thug ALMOST as much as I’m over him being a cripple.

Obviously Will doesn’t want them to sing Britney because he’s lame but then a very surprising development happens – Brittany doesn’t want them to sing Britney!

Apparently because her name is “Brittany S. Pierce” she has been called “Brittany S-pears” all her life.  “Its been a hard road.”  Indeed it has Brit, indeed it has.

Will goes to see Emma because he’s so upset over this hubabaloo and she has some amazing pamphlets, as always.

Also included was “How old is TOO old to breast feed.”  I swear, the pamphlets she has are funnier than she is sometimes.  And by ‘sometimes’ I mean all the time.

We were introduced to her hottie mc hott boyfriend Carl

Played by the always hottie mc hott Uncle Jesse.  Seriously.  Does this guy EVER age?  He wanted to help out the Glee clubbers with some dentist advice so he gave them a tablet that makes their teeth blue if they have a lot of plaque.  Wait – does that even exist?  Because I know a few people in my life that could go through about fifty of those a week.  Once you start smokin, you start chokin, I’m just saying…

Surprisingly Rachel’s mouth turned blue

As did Artie’s (I’m surprised his gold plated GRILL doesn’t protect his teeth more)

And then we have 63-cavity Brittany.

She goes into Dr. Uncle Jesse’s office, he puts on Pandora Radio, and goes to work.  As Brittany starts passing out from the anaesthesia (which are like rufies, according to Brity), we hear her say “not Britney…”

and then all of a sudden we have……A DREAM SEQUENCE!!! (insert dream sequence sound in here)

TOXIC!!!!

SLAVE!!!

OOPS!!!

My little gay mind was just going crazy – there was so much stimulation!!  Page Six said to me once that Brittany does Britney better than Britney (did you get that?) and I agree.  Heather Morris’ dancing is friggin unbelievable.  Her body is jammin’.  And I wouldn’t doubt that she’s a better live singer than Ms. Spears.  But I digress.  Never more have I wanted to be a chair in my life.

Yeah, I would take either of them.  I’m not going to lie.  Brittany then comes out of anesthesia and tells Uncle Jesse what she did:  “I petted a snake.”   Yes, yes you did Brittany.  In more ways than one (see above screen shot)

We then have Rachel saying something to Finn about how she’s happy that he’s not doing football or something because she wants to be the most important thing or something like that.

All I could focus on during their conversation was how her bangs make her look like a polygamist.  Sister Wives up in the hizzay!  I did love Santana’s line as she walked by: 

Santana: “You look like one of the bait girls on ‘To Catch a Predator.’

I loved it because that show is AWESOME.

Brittany still has half her cavities to fill but this time she brings Santana with her for a more pleasurable experience.  Santana though, doesn’t have any cavities!

‘I’m gonna need you to get up in my grill, cause Brits and I woints…to get our anesthesia on’  Honestly, there’s nothing that Naya can’t do.  Including play Madonna in her fantasy sequence!!!

While not my favorite song ever, I was greatly inspired by this almost exact version of the original video.  Hey Brittany, are you ready?

“Uh huh.  Are you”

You know what I’m ready for?  Some Mark from So You Think You Can Dance!!!

J’adore him.

Then the actual Britney Spears showed up and proved to us that…yeah…she really can’t act.  Like, at all.  She’s starting to look like a mom, too.

I mean, I know she is a mom, but she ain’t as sexy as she used to be!  Then again….none of us are.  *sob*  And I’m not saying that moms can’t be sexy, okay all you moms out there?  So pipe down and go watch Cougar Town.

Lame-o Will shot down Kurt’s request to do a Britney number again and so then Kurt got all up in his face and yelled at him. The club’s reaction was awesome. 

I mean…I know that screen grab doesn’t do it justice but…whatever.  You get the idea.  I liked the moment.  Moving on.  Wait, not moving on.  I’m actually surprised that Kurt, as gay as he is, didn’t really have anything to do.  He could have rocked out a mean “Not a girl, not yet a woman.”  Okay, now moving on.

Will went to the dentist and Dr. Uncle Jesse again proved to us why he’s the best dentist EVER.

Candy!  He wanted to give Will CANDY!!!!!  To loosen him up a little, apparently.  I could loosen him up ifyouknowwhati’msayin…..

It was now Rachel’s turn to sit in the dentist chair and be on drugs for a bit so we got a recreation of the classic video “…Baby One More Time.”  I have to say, having studied this video very intensely in my young homo youth, they did a VERY good job of having it just like the original. 

I now see why Lea Michele wanted to lose so much weight.  I wouldn’t want my bits jiggling around either in that crop top. 

Who is that weirdo behind her?  I couldn’t stop staring at him the whole video, with his weird dreadlocks.  There’s always that one weird guy dancing in Brit’s videos, isn’t there?  And I know you all know who I’m talking about.  Anyway, in addition to losing weight, I think I finally discovered why Lea Michele got bangs.

It’s almost so dead on for Britney circa 1999, it makes one do a double take.  And this shot?

God, it’s SUCH a good video!  Okay.  So yeah, Rachel was good as Britney, fine, whatever, she sang the song well, blah blah blah.  She now thinks that, because of her dream, she’s the sexy shit so she starts walking around in pigtails and short skirts.  Well – you know how that crazy Jew-Fro guy has a thing for Rachel? 

Ugh, he’s so creepy.  I’ll keep this short because it grosses me out.  Basically he has a video where he is interviewing her and Sue catches him ‘self-gratifying’ himself in the library.  Gross.  Ew.  Nasty.  Ew. 

I know Sue, I’m disturbed as well.  Anyway, she freaks out about the Glee club doing Britney, Will assures her they’re not, and we move on.  I know I ‘move on’ a lot but you have to understand – I have a lot of information to cover!  Okay, now really moving on. 

Oh!  Look who’s back!

It’s Teri!  To be a part of a subplot with Will and Emma that surely none of us are going to care about!

Back to the people we want to hear from.

I heart Santana so much.  She was saying to Rachel that ‘even though you usually dress in outfits that have no place except for in fetish videos for Japanese businessmen, I’m loving this new look.  Yayyyy.”  She’s a bitch with a heart of gold.  While I’m loving the extra attention given to Brittany and Santana lately, I’m missing Quinn and Mercedes a lot.  A lot.  I’m thinking that they’ll have a bunch to do next week which makes me happy.  Might I say that we’ve maybe perhaps had too much Rachel in the past two weeks?  *gasp*  I KNOW.  Blasphemy.

Now it’s Artie’s turn for the dentist (seriously?  We’re STILL doing that plot?) and his dream starts out with a scene starring a girl that looks familiar but apparently got her weave tracks from a homeless woman.

I mean, what.  What.  WHAT is that hair.  I can’t. 

In his dream he’s a star football player (seriously with this subplot) and I only mention it because Finn and Puck looked FRIGGIN HOT in their uniforms. 

Get it.  Yes.  Artie then shows us that he’s “Stronger” (oh I get it) and we move on because we are bored with Artie (always).

Oh wait we’re not moving on because all of a sudden coach Beast gives Artie and Finn a chance to try out for football.  Bleh.  Boring. Whatevs.

I have to defend the show here for a bit.  I’ve heard people say ‘oh they just took Britney videos and recreated them, there was nothing new with them, except for Artie’s.  How boring.”  My theory is this:  For the girls (Santana, Brittany, Rachel) their fantasy would be starring in a Britney Spears video.  I mean, hello, that’s every young girl/gay man’s fantasy.  For Artie, however, he made up his own fantasy and that is being able to play football (snooze).  So while I get it – it would have been cool to see EVERY song reimagined – I feel like it works in the context of the characters and the story.

Good Lord this Glee-cap is long.

Cute moment with Rachel and Finn

He says something she says something blah blah blah, Becky has a pretty party

and then it’s time for the Toxic performance!!  Wahoo!!  This was definitely my favorite number, hands down.  For some reason Will decided he was going to do the song with them and be all sexy-like (creepy/pervert) but you know?  I’m not really complaining.  Hell-o Matt Morrison.

Yes.  Get it. Inappropriate dancing ensued

Crazy things were shouted out in the audience

“I want to be that hat!!”  “Mr. Shuester!  Have my babies”!! and before you knew it, there was a (according to Sue) “full out Britney Spears sex riot.”

Total, 100% brills. 

Quinn finally gets a line!!

Rachel decides to test Finn’s loyalty to her by sending Quinn his way and having her pretend that she loves him and wants him back.  Ooh, Rachel, you so sneaky!  Anyway, he doesn’t budge (“I’ll probably always have feelings for you, but I’m with someone right now and you know who that is and I need you to respect that”) and Rachel’s all happy.  Devious little bitch, she is. 

We’re back in the choir room where Rachel says that she’s going to sing a solo and dedicate it to her boyfriend (awkward).  Brittany, newly confident in her abilities, says “I thought I was the only one that was going to be doing solos.  Next week I’ll be performing a number by Ke$ha.” 

Amazing.  Rachel sings some Paramore song that is very lovely

Squeeze out those tears!!  Squeeeeeeze!!! 

The sweetest moment of the song, however, was when they showed Finn talking to Santana and Brittany and Rachel’s all sad because she thinks he’s flirting with them and then he sees her and immediately starts walking across the room to her with this smile on his face.

He’s a wise man, that Finn Hudson.  Other people could LEARN BY HIS EXAMPLE, I’m just sayin.  So the song ends and we see Mr. Shuester, alone in his car, and sad that Emma loves Dr. Uncle Jesse and not him.

Will then, with no other options left, kills himself.

And then the episode is done!!!  Wahoo!!! I love Glee!  I love Britney Spears!!  Will’s dead!!  Yay!!  See you next week Kiddies!

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One of These Boys is Not Like the Other September 28, 2010

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So let’s see….we have Other Asian, Puck, and….RYAN CABRERA?

Wait, what?!  Seriously, WHY DOES RYAN CABRERA KEEP HAPPENING?

But then again…does Ryan Cabrera need to happen for a reason?  Oy.

Only a few more hours until the BritGLEE Spears episode!!!

Tonight, Tonight September 28, 2010

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There’s only you tonight…

Seen and Heard September 27, 2010

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Seen and heard on The Biggest Loser last week: 

“Why body?  Why?  Why when I tell you that something is bad for you, why do you still eat it?  Why do you not listen to me when I say ‘no – don’t eat that.  You don’t need it.’   Why do you still eat it?

It’s probably because you Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggghhh foo! 

Now go cut your hair, take a shower, call Crystal Bowersox, and take a walk around the block.  And put.  Down.  The weed!

And that is this week’s installment of “Seen and Heard.”

Missing You September 27, 2010

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I have a confession.  There’s a man in my life and I have to regretfully say that I haven’t seen him in quite some time.

You know, back when I worked at Barclays I saw him often.  And he was good to me, real good to me.  He always looked good, he smelled good, he felt good.  And then things with that job kind of went awry and so over the summer I didn’t see him much.  Hardly at all, in fact.  I’ve started up another job again, this is true, but unfortunately I simply can’t afford to see him – it hurts too much.  The man I’m talking about, of course…

is Ben Sherman.

Sigh…

This morning I was pressing my red Ben Sherman sweater and I got really nostalgic.  Ben and I have had so many good times together over the past three years (on a side note – I can’t believe I forgot that the 22nd of September was my 3-year anniversary of moving to New York!  Happy anniversary!).  Ben and I have laughed together, we’ve cried together, we’ve snuggled up together, we’ve gone to work together…it has truly been a wonderful relationship.

Ben, I miss you too and I know that some day soon we’ll be reunited.  Until then, I hope that you will think of me and speak of me fondly.

Until then mi amor….

(Love) Train of Thought September 24, 2010

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Okay.  Follow me here.

So every day I check out a site called “Dlisted.”  And they have their Birthday Sluts of the day, just like I used to have my “Happy Birthday Betch” of the day for that hot second.  Then I realized that it was far to hard to keep it up so I put the kabosh on that ril quick.  Anyway, one of today’s birthday’s were Morgan and Paul Hamm…also known as “those hot ginger gymnastics guys.”

Don’t stare at their faces for too long because if you do they start to look a little downsy.  Focus on their massive arms instead.  Anyway, as I got to thinking about the Hamm brothers I started thinking about how hot gymnasts were.  Then I thought about Jon Hamm for a second.  Then I was back to hot gymnasts.  And about how I used to say my favorite sport was “mens gymnastics.”  And THEN I was like “yo, wasn’t there a super super hot gymnast that I used to be totally Ga Ga over?”

No, not that Gaga.  Like ‘do me now’ gaga.  And so I searched and searched and finally remembered his name:  BLAINE WILSON.

Yes….get it gurl.

I mean, heller – have you ever seen such perfection?  Plus he’s from Ohio – totally hot midwest boy.

Doesn’t he look like Josh Hopkins from Cougar Town?

I mean…kinda.  Not really.  All I know is I wouldn’t turn either away!!

Kristen Bell Used to Hit This September 23, 2010

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I mean, say what you will about how awful his character is…or how you’d rather have a root canal before hearing him rap again but I mean…

I’m not even about to kick this out of bed.  I mean, heller, I’m not stupid.  But now there is news being released today that is proclaiming that the love of my life who’s movies I never see (I WILL see You Again if it’s the last thing I do) dated Mr. Morisson in college?

Yes, Kristen Bell and Matt Morrison bumped uglies.  I almost can’t believe it.  And part of me wants to belive it.  And part of me wants to watch.

Glee-Cap September 22, 2010

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Wait – WHAT did that Blog post’s title say?  I can’t believe my eyes….let me look again.  That can’t be right.

No, no, it’s true!!!  It’s says “Glee-Cap!!!”  Does that mean?

Yes bitches, you know what it means.  It means I managed to get a Glee-cap up, ON time, the day AFTER the season premiere aired!  But don’t go and start thinking that it’s going to happen every week like this.  I just managed to be totally awesome today.  So without furter ado…omg, I think I just peed a little I’m so excited….I present to you…the first Glee-cap of Season 2….

…is the anticipation killing you yet? 

AUDITION

La dee da, I’m just going about my day like nothing is wrong…dee dee dee…wait – why is the Jaws theme suddenly playing in the background?

I don’t understand.  I’m on solid ground how can I be hearing the Jaws theme?  And what the hell is that thing?  It looks like something I’d find behind my apartment walls that’s been growing there since 1947…oh no…it’s getting closer.

And…bigger?  Oh Jesus…it can’t be.  No!  No!  I heard the rumors but I didn’t want to believe they were true!  It’s…it’s……..

AAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  LEA MICHELE’S BANGS!!!!!!!  RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!

Seriously, I can’t with those.  You know I’ve been hating on them all summer (hate on me haters) but they look as awful as I thought they would look on screen.  They need to be shorter, or side swept, or SOMETHING but they just kinda hang there.  So Cory and Lea – what do you guys think of the bangs?

Mmmhmm…that’s exactly what I thought.  Fix it – I SAID FIX IT!

Anyway, yay!  Glee’s back!  I thought the first episode back was strong, and I appreciated the fun little Jacob thing in the beginning to show us what everyone has been doing this summer.  For instance, Rachel and Finn are now a couple, Quinn lost all her baby weight, Tina and Mike Chang are now a couple, etc. etc.  I wonder what my favorite couple has been up to all summer?

Brittany:  “Everyone thought I went on vacation but really I got lost and was wandering around the sewers.”

Hell yes you were.  I’ve heard some comments that people were sad the episode was Brittany-lite but I think she had some awesome one-liners (“Stop the violence”) and the producers are (rightfully) saving her for next episodes Brittany/Britney Spears-apalooza.  Which I couldn’t be ANY more excited for, btw.  But back to this episode.

Oh.  This creep. 
Jacob:  “What do you say Mr. Shuester about my reader’s comments that you rap too much?”

THANK YOU!  Finally someone other than me is saying it!

As far as the rest of the Glee club?

“Welcome back lady” indeed.

I really appreciated the dynamic between the new Football coach Miss Beiste (Beast) and Sue/Will.  Hey guys – what do YOU three think about Rachel’s bangs?

See?  Everyone feels this way – it’s caught on.  It’s an epidemic.  I’m going to start a Facebook group: “Stop Will from Rapping and Fix Rachel’s bangs.”  Done and done.  Will and Sue ganging up on Beiste was funny at first, then sad, then funny again.  More on that later.

So the Glee clubbers find out that Nationals are in New York this year (holla holla) and so they go outside to sing on the bleachers and show everyone how cool they are.  Makes sense.  Not making sense?

Why we now have ARTIE rapping so much.  THERE DOES NOT NEED TO BE A RAP SONG IN EVERY EPISODE PEOPLE!

Unless it’s Finn rapping.  Me-ow!

As it was, it was a cute little  number and I liked that it was outside.  Kinda fun.  A little “Grease”-y…

But eh.  Whatever.  What can ya do.

So during the song, Finn was checking out this guy and noticed that he was tapping his foot along.  The Glee club needs members so what does Finn do? 

Hell yeah he stalks this new kid in the shower!  I mean, it’s what ANY of us would do, right?  Right? …….right?  The best part though was the creepy smile that he did when he saw him singing (poorly, I might add).

What?  What is this?  Doth Mr. Hudson be taking over Mr. Shuester’s tiara as most creepy character? 

OF COURSE NOT.  How dare you imply that?  There is nothing wrong with a boy spying on another boy in the shower because he wants him to join Glee club.  Done and done. 

Rachel too had a different approach (I blame the bangs) and stalked the foreign girl in the bathroom.  Oh yeah, I forgot.  Some girl that used to be on Oprah is now a character and also liked the people outside singing.  It was kiiiind of amazing when Rachel’s bangs talked to Sunshine (yes….that’s her name…I can’t) very loudly and slowly trying to get her to join Gleeclub and be her “back-up.”

Rachel:  “You like my singing?  Yes?  You want to stand behind me and sing oohs and ahs?”

Sunshine said she’s try out and then decided to stare at herself in the mirror and sang Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” to herself in broken English.  Rachel’s bangs, of course, did not like this at all.

So she decided that she was going to sing right along to herself in the mirror…but also in Sunshine’s ear.

I think Sunshine is laughing because it tickles…or because she liked it…actually I’m not sure.  She smiled a lot whenever she sang…or spoke…or stood there.  Oh!  Maybe it’s because her name is SUNSHINE.  Good one Glee directors!

Sue had to come in and break-up all the sing-off fun, of course.  Silly Sue.

However her “SHUT UP!” was one of the funniest things ever.  I died a little.

But not as much as when I saw Mike Chang’s abs.

Boi oi oiiiinnnngg!!

For the record PopWrap, this episode was not Mike Chang’s first line.  I believe he had one word in the Madonna episode and I THINK, if I’m not mistaken, a line in the finale.  I’ll have to do some research.

But yeah – Mike Chang and Tina met at Asian camp (they teach young Asians how to use advanced technology.  Brills) and then Tina broke up with Artie because he’s in a wheelchair (not the real reason but I mean…hello…of course it is) and now Mike and Tina are dating and hopefully doing it because those abs should NOT go to waste.  The end.

Hello D. S. L.  And if you don’t know what that means, look it up.  Except you mom, don’t look it up.  So this is the new kid – Max.  He likes to play football and sing in the shower.  I didn’t hate him – not at all.  Think he could be a cute new fun character.  The boys decide they want him to audition for Glee club and so they make him sing a song that has been terribly overplayed while Artie…yup

Raps again.  Those hands.  I can’t.

Mike Dances, Puck plays guitar, and Finn….WE GET IT

YOU PLAY THE DRUMS!  The kid says he’ll join and blah blah blah. 

OH!  Shit!  Rachel’s bangs you SCARED me!  Looks friggin like Britney Spears’ weave on a GOOD day.  Okay, moving on.

“Hey Sunshine, I want you to audition for Glee club, here’s the address.  It’s in the ghetto, k byeee.”  Why Sunshine didn’t inquire about why the auditions weren’t in the AUDITORIUM, we’ll never know.  Also, why Sunshine insists on wearing berets…

Is entirely beyond my comprehension.

Will and Sue are mean to Beast, she cries

And my heart cried with her.  There’s nothing I hate more than seeing a six foot four androgenous she-male crying in the locker room.  I’m digging this character.  And not just because she’s a six foot four androgenous she-male who cries in the locker room.  It’s because she challenges me to figure out how to spell androgenous.  I don’t think that’s right.

Looks who’s back!!!

BECKY!!!!!!!  No, not the duck who drowned in oil on Saved By the Bell sillies, our faaaaavorite cheerleader!  Finn auditions for the Cheerios because Beast kicked him off the football team for suggesting that Artie play football (seriously?  That’s so dumb.  What’s next, Artie is going to think he can DANCE?!  Oh wait, been there done that.  Snooze) and of course he’s awful so no he doesn’t make the Cheerios.  How do you feel about that Santana?

I know honey, I would have liked to have seen him in a short skirt too.  Someone who DID rejoin the Cheerios however….

Yes girl, get it.  Quinn’s walk down the hallway in her cheerleading uniform was FLAWWWless.  The moment only got better when we saw some girl on girl action:

Hey, YOU try and screen grab that!  They were fightin’ FAST!  Mr Shue of course wants to get in on all the action cuz he pervy.

Will:  “Ladies, stop it we’re a family!”
Santana:  “Oh, she’s already got a family because she’s a MUTHER!!!”
Quinn:  “Make sure you TIGHTEN YOUR PONY BEFORE YOU GET TO CLASS!”
Brittany: “Stop the violence.”

Brills all the way around.

Rachel finally invites Sunshine to audition for the Glee f’reals this time and Sunshine pulls out all the stops including some Dreamgirls (Rachel: “it was a musical first”), lights, a bit band, lots and lots o hands, annnnnnd….

A BERET!!!  She looks like a fricking beat poet from France up there.

Anyway, she was great, they invite her in but she doesn’t want to join because Rachel would “hiiive hoir helll” (give her hell) the rest of the year.  Instead she’s joining Vocal Adrenaline who is now coached by Cheyenne Jackson.

Yes Cheyenne, get it.

AH!!  BANGS!!

AHHH!!!  BERETS!!!  BANGS!!!  BERETS!!!  AHHHH!!!

Awww…okay, much better.  Finn says she should apologize to the Glee club for making Sunshine leave and she agrees but needs some alone time in the auditorium first because everytime you need to apologize to someone you should really sing something from “A Chorus Line” first.

Helllooooo lips.  Might someone have had more work done on themselves than JUST their bangs?  Hmm..

Rachel sang “What I did for love” and it was by far the stand out performance, in my opinion.  There’s just SOMETHING about Lea Michele singing classic Broadway that I totally die for.  Speaking of dying….

DAYUM Karen Carpenter!!  Eat a sandwich!!  Wayyyyyyy too skinny.

Good episode all around, like I said but you know what’s even better?

Ending it by singing through a window.  Gets me everytime.

Until next time, Gleeks!

I’m Not in the Hooskow! September 20, 2010

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Don’t worry, I’m still here, I haven’t been carted off to jail…unlike this one:

But I’ll get to that in a second.

Yes!  I am alive and well, I just haven’t had the time or the energy to blog lately!  I only blogged twice last week – twice!  What?!  You know I’m a busy little bee if I only blog twice.  So let’s see, let me fill you in –

*Wednesday night the boys came over (Page Six, Spece and Scotty, Thomas, etc) for a lovely evening of television premieres, finales, and some food.  And some wine.  Lots of wine.  And lots of food.  But mostly wine.  Great times were had by all!

*This weekend was our last weekend in Fire Island for the summer.  I know!!  I can’t believe it either!  As it was though, we had some great special guests, some weather, and a really fun time.

Yeah, I’m not posing for that shot at ALL. 

It was a bit of a different weekend than our normal ones because half of our house were different people.  No Craig, no David and let me tell you – no Craig AND no David makes Brian one sad boy.  A toast to the way it once was!

Looking back it was a great summer and I feel really lucky that I was able to go out for so many long weekends and have so many fun times.  I shall miss you, isle de fuego!

Today it’s back to the grind, and grind I am, let me tell you.  Work is hard – it’s frustrating and it’s annoying, but I can’t be anything but thankful that I have this job and have faith that everything will be worth it in the end. 

I’m super excited for new Fall TV this week – How I Met Your Mother, GLEE GLEE GLEE GLEE, Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice, Amazing Race…it done be a good week ya’ll!!  Dodgeball tonight and you know that always brings the good times too!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot – Lohan.  Lindsay – seriously?!  No, like, SERIOUSLY?  You go to jail, you go to rehab and now you’ve failed not only one but TWO of your drug tests?  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??!!!!  People like this are allowed to roam the streets yet it’s the gays who can’t marry!

Wait…she’s dating that lesbian though…oh…um…whatever.  You get what I’m saying.  Ugh.  She makes me mad.  Almost as mad as

ALMOST.

This is Terrifying September 15, 2010

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If you’ve ever wanted to sleep through the night, you might want to refrain from checking out this cover of InTouch.  I mean, go ahead, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

EEEEEEYIKES!!!!  I mean, if your children look like that – fine.  That can’t be helped (well it can, but I won’t go there).  Adam Sandler knows what his child looks like and he has enough sense to not put her on a magazine.  But broke ass Theresa doesn’t HAVE that common sense and that is why we have a problem.  I’m an American.  A tax paying American.  And I should not have to be SUBJECTED to staring at her three mini-Gremlins and her one mini-Danny Devito all day.  I have to read this magazine for work – this isn’t fair, it isn’t right, and it isn’t constitutional.  If she needs the money because she’s hella in debt, that’s fine.  I have a simple solution for you that will help with the mess that is on your kids’ faces.

Done and done.  Doesn’t even cost a penny, just go to your local supermarket and ask for some.

Glee starts in just under a week, my people.

They released the first new song, their cover of “Empire State of Mind” and while I don’t HATE it…..I don’t exactly love it either.  Haven’t they learned that the rapping just don’t work?  I mean, thank GOD it’s not Will rapping but really?  Your first song back and it’s this piece of mess that is already over played?  I can’t.  I have very high hopes for the Britney episode, however.  And in a piece of news that is sure to be controversial….I don’t know if I’ll be doing Gleecaps this year.  I know!  I know!  They’re a lot of work, ya’ll!!  And in case you can’t tell by the lack of blogs, I just don’t have the time!  I’m sure I’ll be putting together something for you but I’m not sure what just yet.

Bachelor Pad finished up Monday night.  And the winners?  I mean…eh.  Whatever.

Why but more importantly HOW did I watch this show all the way through.  I don’t care for Dave or Natalie…like…at all…but I’m just O-V-E-R Kiptyn and Tenley.  As in, so over them I need a new word for over.  Kiptyn is cute but his whole ‘ho-hum I’m so innocent’ routine and Tenley’s “I’m so innocent” routine I have been over for quite some time now.  I’m mainly just happy that the season is over and I don’t have to watch any more Bachelor until January.  I hate this show.  But I love to hate it.

Big Brother ends tonight – Lane for the win!