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Glee-Cap November 28, 2010

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Yeah Yeah, the Glee-Cap is a lot later than usual, you don’t think I’m upset about that fact too!?!?!  Don’t front though – you know that you’ve been too busy to read it anyway!  So we’re even.  I’ve had a lovely few days off from the ‘real world’, a lovely Spanksgiving, and I know that you’ll all be happy to know that I’m caught up on all of my DVR’d shows.  It was getting kinda of tragic, there.  Speaking of tragic….GLEE.

FURT

The fact of the matter is, I have veeeeerry mixed feelings about this episode.  I loved some of it, and DESPISED some of it.  It really made me feel

Not to mention..

and by the end of the episode, I just thought the whole thing was kinda


I’m gonna say it here and I don’t care if you agree with me or not but it’s a fact – I am over Kurt.  I am over the gay thing, I’m over his conflict, I’m over the tears, and I am O-V-E-R his toothless smile.  Seriously – where are his teeth?  Can’t he do something about that? Because it’s really bugging me.  I was fine with Carol and Burt getting married – that’s fine, they’ve been dating for a year or so, but how cute was Finn when he heard that the New Directions were going to be singing at the wedding?

He’s adorable.  “Totes adorbs” if you will.

The Sue plotline was so ass RANDOM this episode, I just can’t.  They’ve taken an amazing character and in a single episode just shat all over her.  Rod and Andrea got engaged

and of course we all remember that Sue liked Rod or something blah blah blah so Sue decided to…I can’t…I just can’t….I’ll let Sue show you herself.

Turn it around, Sue!  Whatcha lookin’ at there?

Yes people.  Sue Sylvester is set to marry….Sue Sylvester.  It’s just so ridiculous, so asinine, so out of character…like, I understand that she wants to act out because her crush is getting married but by marrying yourself it just looks a little loco.

I do want these stamps, however.

That’s amazing.

***FINN AND SAM LOCKER ROOM SCENE***

***THIS CONCLUDES YOUR SAM AND FINN LOCKER ROOM SCENE***

I was a little heartbroken that I wasn’t able to post a “Shirtless Sam” moment but hey – if locker room is the best you can give me, I’ll take it.

Sam get off your knees.  (A statement I thought I’d never say)  Seriously though – a promise ring?  How stupid!  They’ve been dating like, four weeks and in this very episode Quinn tells all the girls that she’s not even dating Sam.  Stupido.

I think Karofsky is kinda sorta hot.  Like, fat hot.  And heeeeeere he is again, scary the bejeezus out of Kurt.  And here’s Kurt, again, acting soooooo scared because he got gay bullied.


And because Mr. Shuester can’t keep his hands to himself or just “STAY OUT OF IT” for more than five seconds, he has to go straight to the principal with the problem.


Who is still…Sue?  Okay, whatever, I’ll go with it.  I did love how Kurt was all “I don’t like it when you call me Lady” and so Sue gave him three options for a new nickname.

I’m actually quite happy they settled on “Porcelin.”  I could have come up with a nickname as well but it probably would have included “annoying” or “gay” or “toothless” and people would like that so…I’ll just stand here and keep my nicknames to myself.

BANGS ALERT

And I’m actually not hating them in this scene.  I know, I know, it’s shocking.  But seriously!  They’re not that awful.  I’m sure next week they’ll go back to being awful but I gotchu Rachel, I gotchu, you work those bangs this week.

When the hell did Other Asian join the football team?

Has he been there all along and I just haven’t been paying attention or have we just never seen him in his uniform?  I confused.

That Carol Burnett lady was in this episode.

Was she the one that played Mary Tyler Moore?  Wait – Mary Tyler Moore is a real person.  Okay, nevermind.  Anyway, everyone was all excited about having her play Sue’s mom but in actuality, it was just an excuse to say “WE GOT CAROL BURNETT,” give Sue a ridiculous story line, and have the two of them sing a reeeeeally boring song from “Wonderful Town.”

I think that “Wonderful Town” is the pits anyway, but this song was just snoozeville.

Gay stuff happened.

Then Karofsky saw them, made fun of gay Kurt, and then Burt got mad.

Can’t he, like, go to jail for beating up a high school student?  I’m just checking.

Oh yeah, Santana and Finn slept together once.

Let’s make sure that we don’t forget to touch upon that plot point because Rachel and Finn haven’t really had anything to do this season so we’re going to have to give them some drama in a week or two to make the season worthwhile plus if we keep at how we’ve been keeping we’re going to have to change the show from “Glee” to “The Gay Kurt Show.”

As much as I harp about this episode being the pits (like, Mady Gosselin the pits) I can’t say enough how much I loved them dancing down the aisle.  Finn just looked SO CUTE and excited.

Although at multiple points the lyrics were…a little questionable.

“It’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do.”

Well, it’s clearly not night.  They show it being daylight outside, so that doesn’t work…

“Hey baby, I think I wanna Marry You.”

And then Rachel kept up with the adorableness.

Too cute.

Sam and Quinn were also cute but their lyrics were even more questionable (as was Dianna’s dancing)

“Who cares if we’re trashed, got a pocketfull of cash, we can go.  Shots of patron..”

Um….is it appropriate to sing about shots of patron while walking down the aisle?  Is it approp for underage kids to sing about it?  I will answer for you:

No.  No, it is not.

Artie and Brittany (who are DATING now?!?  WHAT) had to get in on the action

And of course Other Asian had to make a spectacle out of himself by dancing like a fool

Seriously dude.  Calm down.  It looks like you’re having a stroke every time you dance.

Of course Shuester wasn’t happy that he wasn’t asked to join in the dance so he had to draw all the attention to himself by laughing as big and loud as he possibly could.

I couldn’t get a good screen grab of it but his laughing during Burt’s classic “Old guy dancing badly” schtick was just….I can’t.  It was the Will “Ah HA!” laugh that drives me insane.  GO HOME WILL SHUESTER!!!  YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE BRIDE AND GROOM!

Carol was really cute dancing down the aisle.

And even though they’ve danced down the aisle on YouTube and the Office, I just thought that it worked so well in the “Glee” world.  Pick a more appropriate song, sure, but in the end it didn’t really matter – I’m just Mr. Shue just picked the song anyway.

Was it just me or did the Asian priest that married them have a bit of an attitude?

He was all “a certain groomsman, who will GO UNNAMED…” Calm down there, Jet Li.  It’s not about you.  It is, however, about Carol’s squinty Renee Zellwegger face.

She kinda did this all episode long.  I know that you’re happy there, Carol.  I know that you’re emotional.  I know that you’re happy to have more than five minutes of screentime.  But none of these are an excuse to squint as much as you did.  Also, I loved the speeches that Burt and Carol gave but…LAWD.  They were LONG.  And they like, PRAISED Kurt again for being amazing and gay and I was just a liiiiiiittle over all of it by the end.  Even though I was weeping on the couch, I was over it.  Trust me.

Not as over, however, as I was/am/always will be of Will Shuester  having to make it all about him ALL THE TIME.

Of course Burt and Carol can’t have a lovely first dance as Husband and Wife.  Oh no, they’ve gotta have Pervy Mc Perv up there singing about swaying or something.


It was all over for me from the start, but then he went and did that microphone kick thing and that just killed me.  It’s not the WILL SHUESTER show, buddy!

It is, apparently, the Kurt Hummel show.  Finn, as best man, made a speech and he decided that the best thing he could do to honor his mom and new dad was to sing a song to Kurt about how he’s perfect just the way he is.  A few things:

1.  Kurt is NOT perfect just the way he is.
2.  Show me a wedding where Finn does the speech before Kurt and I’ll show you an imaginary land.  Any narcissistic gay like Kurt would ABsolutely do his speech first and he would ABsolutely do a song, so as not to be upstaged by the bride and groom.  Trust me, I know.
3.  Again with the Bruno Mars?  What?  Why not Billy Joel “Just the Way You Are?”  Now THAT is a wedding song!

Anyway, Finn wanted to sing TO Kurt so he made him come out on the floor and the toothless wonder pretended to be surprised, or resist, or something.

Rachel was super cute when she pretended like she was going to dance with Finn instead.  It was a true, organic reaction that rarely happens on this show.

Then Finn was signing directly to Kurt and Kurt was so incredibly in love with him, it was like, hello OBVIOUS!

Obvious and toothless.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I can’t with Kurt.  I’m all about awareness, I’m all about gay rights, I’m all about “It Get’s Better” but ENOUGH WITH KURT.  THERE ARE OTHER CHARACTERS.  MOVE ON RYAN MURPHY.


Oh lord.  Gay dancing.  I can’t.  Enough.  Move on.

YES.  All about Sue’s sister.  Although, can’t she see Dr. John Stamos?  Isn’t he a dentist?  She could use a retainer like whoa.

Sue’s ridiculous wedding happened…


Annnnnd, I was so over it.  I hope that Jane Lynch is okay with the shitshow these writers have been giving her.  Next week is Sectionals and I’m crossing my fingers that these past two weeks have just been flukes.  We all know that Glee goes up, and it goes down (“You’re Having My Baby…”).  We started this season strong people, let’s finish the first half of it that way too.

Oh yeah, there was a plot or something too.  Kurt left the Glee Club and joined the Warblers.

So this means that…GASP.  He’ll be singing AGAINST New Directions next week when they’re at sectionals!!  Ooh, CONFLICT!!!  It’s about damn time!  And in case you were wondering, yes, Mercedes is still a character.

All I’m saying is that Tar Tar Becky has had more lines than Mercedes has this season.  Do I need to start writing this show, or what?!!

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O Say Can You Glee? November 24, 2010

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This is how I feel about Glee from last night:

Oh, believe you me, I have som OPINIONS about last night.  However, I don’t know that I’m getting a Glee-Cap up today.  It depends on many factors.  Stay tuned…

Party Monster November 22, 2010

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I know that she’s the ‘big thing’ right now but…

I just can’t with Willow Smith.  I don’t know what it is about her…but I can’t.  I can’t with her song “Whip My Hair” which EVERYone is going gaga over.  She repeats the same phrase over…and over…and over again!  And her outfits…yo.  Okay, vent over moving on.

Hi ya’ll!  I started this blog about…ohh…six hours ago?  My boss is back in town after a big week in LA so there were lots of stories and catch-ups.  Then my team took me out to lunch for my birthday, which was super sweet of them but now I smell like dinner, which is disgusting.  That’s right ya’ll, it was my birthday this weekend!!

Friday night I went out with the B.A.N.D.I.T.S. and we had such a good time.  SO much fun.  Saturday was jam-packed with birthday goodness.  More-O ended up really making the day special with breakfast, an awesome present (Glee dvd!  How in the world did I not have Glee yet?!) I played dogeball, we had amaaaaazing massages, then it was party time!  All kinds of fun, it was great to see all my friends there but hoooo-boy did that room get PACKED!  I ended up calling it a relatively early night as I had reached that point where it was just TOO many people but not before getting a shot in with my boo.

Someone asked me what I learned in the past year and it took me a second to think about it but I think I had a solid answer when all was said and done.  Basically I really learned that I am in control of my own happiness.  I’ve had a lot of challenges come my way this year and it was my duty (and mine alone) to rise above those challenges and come out on top.  Of course I’m challenged every day in my job, my relationship, my friendships, but it truly is up to me whether or not I’m happy. 

And that is what I’ve learned being 22.  I wonder what I’ll learn in this, my 23rd year….

Peanut gallery keep all your comments to yourself.  Thank you.

Glee-Cap November 17, 2010

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Oh Glee.  You put me through it, honestly you do.  You’ve had such good episodes this season, honestly you have.  There really hasn’t been an episode that I walked away from and had a sour taste in my mouth.  I mean, sure there have been some things I haven’t particularly been fond of (THE BANGS) but as a whole I’ve been pleasantly surprised.  But last night’s episode?  I mean…it had me going

and

in some moments, and then in other moments I was all

until finally at the end I’m all

Let’s discuss, shall we?

THE SUBSTITUE

This episode should have been called “The Sub-Par-stitute”  or “The Teaching Prostitute.”  Just so long as the title of the episode ended in ‘tute’ we would be good.  As everyone knows, this episode featured the one, the only GWWWWWWYENTH PALTROOOOOOOWWW!!!  She looked good, she sang good (not great, good) and she had this weird kink in her hair during one of the numbers…but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Sue and Will serious conversation…

One of many…I’ll let you know when it’s time to wake up from your nap.  Sue had some great one-liners this episode but seriously?  We know you want to destroy the Glee club.  Start a new hobby like, knitting or something.  Or better yet, why don’t you help this girl get a starring role on a sitcom

Because she’s brills.  That face alone is Emmy worthy.

We all know that Mr. Shue like kids.  I mean ‘liiiiikes’ kids.  He’s totally pervy, and kind of a pedo but this Shue?  This is going too far.

See, Mr. Shuester was sick and so therefore he started having hallucinations….fantasies, if you will.  And sure enough, he fantasized about all the kids as toddlers.  He really is sick.  And by ‘sick,’ I mean ‘preverted.’

Terrible Terri was back.

Although NOTHING was as terrible as her ‘baby talk’ to Will.  It only went on for like, 20 seconds, but that was 20 seconds WAY too long. 

Let’s talk about something really fun for a second.

I got a haircut.  I had a lovely salad today.  I like candy. 

Okay, enough talking about me and back to talking about ‘Glee.’  And yes, I meant to rhyme.  Rachel is honestly so great.  I love that she was all ‘what solos do you want me to do at Sectionals?’ because well….it sounds like something I would say.  I feel like deep down Rachel and I are kindred spirits.  Well, Rachel, and SJP.  Shall we look again?

Sigh.

TOTS!!!!

Due to the fact that Kurt was being all gay and shit, Mercedes started a new love/obsession with tots.  I mean…?  The gay guy stops hanging out with you and you run to tots?  That’s just…okay.  Whatever.  Tots it is.

Gwen’s Spanish was pretty great and the part about Lindsey Lohan was even better.  Her hair though?

Well…I look at her hair and I see a meth addict on “Intervention.”  But that’s just me.  It’s bad, but at least she doesn’t have bangs.

Loved Rachel falling on the slippery butter.

Loved even more that the fall didn’t ‘break her talent.’

Loved less that Gwenyth chose to sing Cee-Lo.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I love that song – well, the original, that is.  None of this ‘Forget You’ crap.  The songs’ called “Fu*k You” and it doesn’t need a radio friendly/Glee friendly/Kid Bopz version!  Why couldn’t Gwenyth have sang a Sara Barrieles song?  Or Pink?  Or even like…Ke$ha.  There are plenty Top 40 female artists with good songs…I don’t know why she had to go and mess with my Cee-Lo song.

In actuality, it just gave her an opportunity to dance sluttily around the children.  Clearly she studied at the “Will Shuester School for Teaching.”

Close your legs!!!!

Ah!!!  CLOSE YOUR LEGS!!

Are you trying to smuggle a head of lettuce in there or something?  CLOSE ‘EM!!

While I didn’t hate her character, I do feel like Holly was just a diluted version of Kristen Chenoweth’s character.  They get the guest stars right sometimes (April) and sometimes they get them WRRRROOOOONG (Idina Menzel) and I guess I have to say that Holly lands somewhere in the middle.  Just like Gwenyth does in real life.  Although…we do have something in common…

Drinking wine and watching Hoarders is a LOVELY way to spend an evening…or an afternoon at school for that matter.  Now then…

Why were tots such a big deal again?

Oh yeah, cause Sue needs a CAUSE.  Snore.

Oh boy…Hhhhhhhhhere we go.  Will is sick.  (I just wrote ‘suck’ accidentally and was tempted to keep the typo)  And Will loves to watch “Singin’ in the Rain’ when he’s sick.  So what better opportunity to have a big dance number/song than….a DREAM SEQUENCE!!!!

“Make ‘Em Laugh” is an awful song.

I hate when people ‘try’ to be funny in Musical songs.

Running up walls is kiiiinda cool.

And that’s all I have to say about this number.  Hated it.  My face looked like this the whole time.

Will does look kinda hot with that scruff.  Funny how an episode about him being sick ended up featuring him more than the entire season has.  And WHYYYY wasn’t Emma the substitue?  It makes perfect sense!  Who’s Emma by the way, she’s been gone so long I have forgotten what her face looks like.

Sometimes, this show is brilliant.

Hilarious.

Sometimes, this show drives me to hate characters.  Case in point:

I really can’t with Kurt anymore.  Yeah yeah, he’s the only gay kid in his school and now he’s found another one and he’s all obsessed with it but seriously – I’m so sick of talking about him and seeing his outfits (NO GAY KID DRESSES LIKE THAT) and hearing his whining.  I’m with Mercedes on this one – talk to the hand.

Or…talk to the stomach.

Just how I like Will Shuester.  With his shirt off and his face covered.

Will Shuester in an undesirable position?

On top of Terrible Terri.  EEK!!

TOTS!!!

Let me repeat myself:  TOTS!!!

After the TOTS debacle, my cable messed up and all of a sudden I was watching an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

I called Time Warner and they started to fix it but then it was Dancing With the Stars and I couldn’t change the channel for some reason!

Then my tv exploded and everyone cheered.

Serious adult conversation…

Moving on.

Gay talk….

Moving on.

And yes Kurt, every time you talk a purse falls out.

That’s normally an insult to a gay guy but with you it’s not anything, besides a FACT!

Serious adult conversation…

Gwenyth being confused on why beret’s are out…

and then this wonder.

I really don’t know how they got “PRECIOUS” to the Glee set so fast!  I mean, it was just MONDAY that I was meeting her and then Tuesday night she’s on Glee?!  The magic of television, I tell ya.

Seriousl adult conversation…

Sigh…more serious adult conversation…

Quinn…

Wait, who?!  Seriously, WHERE has Quinn been allllll season long?!  This episode she had ONE line and she wasn’t even in the scene with the little kids (though her kid doppleganger was, which is just confusing).  I, for one, miss her.  Is she still living with Mercedes?  What is going on with her and Sam’s relationship?  Does she miss the baby?  WHAT’S THE DEAL?!

Gwenyth was never finer in this entire episode than when she was playing Mary Todd Lincoln.

“This can’t be my baby, because I don’t love it!”  She can be a character in this show every week, as long as I’m concerned.

To end out this TOTALLY believable episode, Gwenyth and Shuester decided that they wanted to destry the auditorium by having water on the stage, splashed around, and a waterfall in the background while they sang a messy ass mash-up to Umbrella/Singin in the Rain.

Splash.

Splash.

Group splash.

Honestly, the entire thing, song included, was one.  big.  Mess.

Yeah, collect rain in your hat Shuester, do it, because you’re going to need practice.  If Glee pumps out some more episodes like this one it won’t be rain you’re collecting in your hat, but coins outside of Mann’s Chinese Theater or whatever it’s called.  With a wedding next week, a Sue duet with her mom, and 2 (yes 2) Bruno Mars’ songs, I’m not exactly jumping out of my seat, but I’ve been surprised before, and I could be surprised again.

Probably not though.  There’s sure to be pedophillic Will, there’s sure to be gayness from Kurt, and hopefully, God-willing, there will be TOTS!!

Just Like Any Other Monday…. November 16, 2010

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Life in New York can be so varied.  Take a normal Monday, for instance.  Normally it’s a crazy day at work, I jet downtown for a few games of dodgeball, and then maybe go out for a few beers before collapsing on the couch and watching Oprah before bed.  Other Monday’s I’ll maybe go to the gym, grab a salad, and watch some telly before bed.  But last night was no normal Monday.

My boyfriend More-O is awesome.  And he managed to get me a ticket to the Harry Potter premiere.  While we were waiting for the movie to start there was a few celeb sightings, the biggest one obviously being Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick.  Not by themselves, oh no.  WITH James Wilke.

 

I mean, hello.  You know my love for her.  So obviously it was amazing to see her from far away.  The movie happened, it was great, and then More-O managed to sneeeeeak us in to the Afterparty.  I’d heard a bunch of celebs, including SJP were there, but honestly I was just excited for the free food and open bar.  Meeting SJP has always intimidated me, since I want her to be nothing less than Carrie Bradshaw and I’m worried that if my experience meeting her is less than perfect, that my Sex and the City viewing experience will never be the same.  So I wasn’t even thinking about her, just the steak and salad I was promised.  While standing in line I was like ‘oh, Keri Russell’s in front of me.’

Love me some ‘Felicity,’ love me some “Honey I Blew up the Kids.”  Then I notice in front of HER, is Patrick Wilson.

Hello “Little Children,” hello “Angels in America,” HELLO ‘Full Monty’ on Broadway.  The man’s voice makes me weak.  While big fans, I wasn’t really in the mood to say hello to them (I was focused on the STEAK!)  After a few drinks, however, the people in our group started getting a little more bold and a little celeb hungry.  More-O’s sister was hilarious, being indifferent to meeting the celebs, but kinda of ‘what the hell’ all the same.  So that’s how the new gay guy from Glee

Joey Fatone (who I saw having a long convo w/ Rob Thomas – hello 1998)

and the redhead from Harry Potter came to be.

The minute I heard the next celeb’s name though…I KNEW I had to manage to get a picture.  I saw her walking by and said…”ahem, excuse me Precious?”

Okay, I didn’t really say that but OMG it’s PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!  You all KNOW how much BriTunes LOVES her!!!

https://britunes2.wordpress.com/2010/09/14/not-so-precious/

https://britunes2.wordpress.com/2010/08/09/flower-drumstick-song/

https://britunes2.wordpress.com/2010/04/01/get-tissue-cuz-here-she-comes/

https://britunes2.wordpress.com/2009/11/18/careful-gurrl/

I mean, she truly is a national treasure.  He he….’Flower Drum(stick) Song.”  I’m funny.  Anyway, she wasn’t as ‘precious’ as I thought she would be.  Page Six has met/interviewed her a few times and always said that she was amazing.  While she didn’t outwardly offend me enough to be on the nemesis list, (Cruz, Brian Williams, Gokey) she was kiiiiiiind of a bitch.  It’s fine, whatevs, no hard feelings.  Now grab a tissue to wipe yo’ sweaty ass face. 

I’d heard SJP was taking pictures with people but still, I was going to stay true to my beliefs and not approach her.  But then, I saw it.  My opportunity.  My perfect chance to say something to her.  She was by the exit, it was only her, Matthew, James, and their publicist/nanny.  A gay with a yammekah or however you spell it jumped in and got a picture and then…she turned to leave…and I made my move.

Me:  “Excuse me, Sarah?  I’m so sorry to bother you but I’m one of those gay guys that is impossibly in love with you, can I please get a picture?”
Sarah:  “Sure!  Sure!”
*pose* *Flash*


Sarah:  *Pats me on the back* “Enjoy your evening”
Me:  “Thank you so much.”

She looked me in the eye when she spoke, she smelled amazing, she was everything I wanted her to be.  Is it a perfect picture?  Hell no!  I’m cheesing out like crazy, there’s a ghost behind me, her boobs are every which way, but it’s kind of like our relationship.  Not perfect, a little messy, but FRICKIN AMAZING.  I’ve met Alanis, Tori, SJP – all I need is to meet Jake and I’ll die a happy man.

After mingling some more, watching Blake Lively practically beg for people to talk to, we took our obligatory Harry Potter picture

and headed home.

After one more shot of some of my favorite people in the world.

I called it a night.  Super late, I’m super tired today, but it was all worth it.  It was a night full of fun, full of booze (holy cow they pour drinks strong there at after parties) and full of….magic.

A Preview November 16, 2010

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Just a little something to whet your appetite.

An Amuse bouche if you will.  Details to follow.

Oh Oh Oh It’s Magic November 15, 2010

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Don’t be too jealous that I’m going to the Harry Potter movie premiere tonight.

It just so happens I have the best boyfriend in the world and he’s letting me use one of his tickets to see the movie.  Whatever, no big deal, just like any other Monday night.

Both Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are engaged…

To other people, obviously.  Nick and Vanessa Manilo have been together for like, four or five years, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they lasted another year or two being married but Jesssica?  I mean…would it be mean to say ‘it’ll end in tears’ or just honest?  F’real Jessica – get a clue.  You know that Nick, the minute he heard Jessica’s engagement was like ‘ah helllll no.  She can’t let me have the spotlight for two seconds?!’  All these exes out there trying to out do each other with their ‘announcements.’  It’s exhaustin!!!

My birthday party is this saturday and my invitation is amazing.

It’s kind of Glamour Shots mixed with Microsoft Paint.  Genius.  And by ‘genius’ I do mean ‘the best I could put together in 20 minutes.’  Before you say to yourself ‘wow, it took you 20 minutes to make that?!’ please be reminded that I’m a very busy and important person.

Speaking of which, my broom is here and Ihave to get my wand and my cloak and figure out a way to get some work done before HARRRRRRRYYYY POTTTTTERRR!!!  Until tomorrow –

Just ‘Cuz November 11, 2010

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Husband.

Just ‘cuz.

I swear to you, I looked at this picture and I literally swooned.  Like, hand clutched to chest, clutchin’ mah pearls, swoon.

Exactly what I needed this late afternoon!!

Glee-Cap November 10, 2010

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Oh my goodness I’m so busy.  We had an album ‘drop’ this week (that’s what the people in the music business call an album release) and we have another one ‘dropping’ next Tuesday so things are insane in the membrane!  Insane in the brain!  I hate that song.  I’ve never liked that song just like that ‘You’re Unbelievable (OH!)” song…but I digress.  I’m waiting to get lunch because I know if I don’t get my Glee-cap out NOW, with the way my afternoons have been going, I’ll NEVER get it out.  Please note my dedication to you and send lots of presents for my birthday, next Saturday November 20.  Now then, on to the show.

NEVER BEEN KISSED

The real name of this episode should have been “Never Gonna Happen” because seriously there was some unbelievable shit that happened.  But we’ll get to that in a second.  First off? 

Rub a dub dub, Finn and Sam in a tub!!!  Hellz yes this was the best way ever to start an episode!  And you know we had to get our…

**OBLIGATORY SHIRTLESS SAM MOMENT***

***This ends your…OBLIGATORY SHIRTLESS SAM MOMENT***

Oh, look who’s back?!?!  It’s the 30-year old sophomore!!!

Yeah Puck, we don’t really care that you’re back either.  Truth be told I didn’t miss you once and a paid monkey could act better than you!  Plus you’re OLD!!  Who are you trying to fool?  Speaking of old….

What is up with the old man glasses there Matt Morrison?  Me thinks the Glee producers are trying to convince us that the actor playing Mr. Shue is actually older than the actors playing Finn or Puck.  In real life….yeah…not s’much.  And in the show…it makes Mr. Shue all the much pervier!

Kurt!!  You’re not going to do the Mash-Up with the girls!!  Now go over there with the boys and have some more gay drama and internal strife!!

Don’t you look at me like that, I’ll smack the gay off your face faster than you can say “Versace.” 

Puck and the cripple are ‘friends’ or something like that.

THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.  Moving on.

Hey gay football player, I like it when you throw Kurt around, do it some more.

*GAY BULLYING THEME*  *CURRENT EVENTS, CURRENT EVENTS** **BLAH BLAH BLAH***

I think Chris Colfer is an awesome actor, I really do.  But I couldn’t be more sick of his gay storyline.  What has Mercedes done besides sing high notes?  Remember Idina Menzel?  Where did Emma and Carl go after last week?  Is Teri still a character?  Wasn’t there some Asian girl named Charice on this show?  Even Rachel – where is her storyline?!  F’reals.  Enough with the gay.

Ah hell, more gay.  And WHAT is up with that cup that Shue gave Kurt?  It’s like one of those things that nurses give to crazy patients that has their pills in it.  I would not be surprised if Shue was trying to medicate these kids.  Step 1.  Sexual Harrassment.  Step 2?  Medicate.  Step 3?  I’m afraid to even wonder what Will’s master plan is.

Quinn and Sam are dating now apparently and they like to make out and Sam pictures Beiste in crazy costumes but more importantly….

What high school kids make out in front of a fire?  And what parent allows their children to light a fire and then make out in front of it?  Is this after school?  Is this on a weekend?  So many questions, with so little answers.  It can all be answered by one image:

Yeah, I don’t know either. 

Artie and Puck (which would never happen) are wanting to…what.  Earn some extra cash by singing?  I’m a little confused as to exactly what the circumstances were but…Bob Marley?

No.

Timpani’s just coming out of nowhere?

No.

This many kids hanging out during their lunch break (oh so THIS is when Quinn and Sam are making out) on the back steps in the RAIN?!!  THE RAIN!??!  Would.  Never.  Happen. 

And this? 

Don’t even get me started.  High School kids ain’t gonna give no money to Puck and Artie just because they’re singing a song.  And I’m sorry…Puck was MAKING the kids give money isn’t that….BULLYING?  So they make a big deal about Kurt being bullied but say nothing about Puck being the ultimate bully?  Hello.

Kurt decides to go check out the competition for Sectionals that is an all boys school and he meets a new friend, Blaine.  Blaine asks him to check out their performance and….holds his hand?

Wait a minute, aren’t we moving a little fast?  These two are in school…and JUST.  MET.  Blaine’s as forward as Shuester is Pervy!

I think Blaine’s kinda sorta cute but that chin…oh that chin…

That’s a strong chin, oh yes.  His singing makes many people do many things.  For me, it makes me wonder why he’s pointing at Kurt so much.  For More-O, he wonders “what are those outfits they’re wearing?”  And for Kurt it elicits….

A toothless smile!!!  Damn you Blaine, damn you to hell.

Okay, cute again.

Wait….what?

Rachel hasn’t really been around much (you’re welcome Heidi) but her best moment of the episode by far was

“SPIES!”

I, for one, miss her greatly.  Fingers crossed she’ll be back, and soon.  Unlike Puck, I notice when she’s gone!

Beiste is sad.

And I’m moving on.

I’ve never noticed it before, but pretty much everyone on the show  is ‘coupled’ up.  Quinn and Sam.  Rachel and Finn.  Mercedes and Kurt.  (it’s a couple, trust) Mike and Tina.  Puck and Santana (unofficially coupled).

And now Artie and Brittany?

NOOOO.  Please don’t try and put one of my favorite characters with one of my least favorite characters.  And besides that – as much as I love Tina and Mike together, Artie should be trying to win Tina back, not trying to win Brittany back.  Confusion all around.

Mash-Ups happened.  Rachel was RIL sexy.

A little *too* sexy, if you ask me.  I know she’s a character and she likes to give her all in a performance but sliding up and down the band members legs and crawling on the floor I mean…hello.  I do know someone who liked that though.

PERV!!!

Blaine was distracting and texted Kurt in the middle of the performance. 

3 Things:

1.  When did Kurt get his phone number?  And why is he just in there as “BLAINE?”  It’s so ominous…
2.  Kurt’s dad is a mechanic.  How is he affording all these fancy clothes and iphones? 
3.  How in the HELL does Kurt have 124 emails??!!!  Who is emailing him?!  And more importantly…why isn’t he checking his mail!  Too busy texting during performances, that’s why…

I did end up liking this mash-up though. 

It wasn’t as fun as the girls’ first mash-up and the songs don’t fit as well either but it really is growing on me. 

HEIDI just texted me saying that she needs the Glee-cap now.  Well if she’d hold her HORSES I can try and get it out!

Now then. 

Sue’s celebrating after telling Will that Beiste quit? 

One of my favorite things I’ve ever seen her do.  I was dying.

Countdown to gay kiss in 3….

2….

1…

What the what?!?!!  Truthfully the minute I saw the two of them in the locker room I was like “ooooohhhh, there’s gonna be some gay shit goin’ down real soon” and sure enough…

More gay stuff….

More gay stuff….

Seriously Will, I mean…You seduce Emma.  You seduced Sue.  You want to hook up with all of the little kids.  And now you’re mackin’ on Beiste!!!?  This moment though….actually…was really sweet.  But I’m not allowed to like Will!!!  So I must move on.

Ugh, do we have to move on to the cripple?  Really?  More-O made a very good point last night – stop wearing vests and shirts buttoned up to the top with no tie!!  I don’t understand how Artie can be ‘thug’ and ‘nerd’ at the exact same time.

Hey Kurt. 

The “Umbrella” number is next week.  Off with the galoshes, homo. 

Allright, allright!  You don’t have to tell me to ‘stop’ bullying Kurt you guys!  I’m on HIS side, I swear!  I’m just a liiiitle over all of the gayness.  The boys number by the way?  Ril gay.

And I have to say I think the girls did a better job with their mash-up!  It flowed better, the songs worked better, and their production value was better (this is Ohio, right?  How in the world do they have so much money for their performances in the choir room?  My high school didn’t have that kind of money for their full blown musicals!) 

Beiste gave her glare of approval

and then we were done, ALL WITHOUT FINDING OUT WHO WON THE MASH-OFF.  Tres annoying.  Next week looks kiiiiiiind of amazeballs.  I mean we have Gwenyth, a Rihanna song, AND Terri is back?  Yes sir, thank you.

Okay! I have to work!  Loves!

Feel the Love November 8, 2010

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Days can be rough.  This morning I went to log in to my computer at work and it gave me an error message saying that my account had ‘expired.’  What the what?!  I spent the next three hours fighting with IT until it was finally fixed.  Needless to say, not the greatest way to start my morning.  Let’s not talk about that though and let’s, instead, recap how I am right now.  And that is awesome.  I’m not at work (huge score) I have a belly full of Subway, our dodgeball team went 6 and 0 tonight, Gossip Girl is so so good, I’m in a cuddly blanket, and did I mention I’m not at work? (huge score).  It’s so easy to gab about things that suck and I’m aware that’s usually the position that I take but instead I’d like to share with you the ten things I’m loving right now.

1.  Rihanna


Rihanna makes me feel like the only girl in the world.  I’m loving loving her new stuff and with her new album currently downloading I have a feeling my ears are going to have an exciting week listening to it.  I was a fan of her last album which was a little “dark” for everyone else but I’m still excited to see her return to her dance-y roots.

2.  I’m living for my recent breakfast from Pax – Whole Wheat bagel toasted, with plain cream cheese.  It’s probably awful for me but because they call it a ‘whole wheat’ bagel that makes me think it’s healthy.  I’m deluded, I know.  But with my morning coffee it’s SO GOOD.

3.  ANGRY BIRDS.


This is an iPhone game where you throw birds at green pigs and destroy blocks.  Yes, I’m aware of how it sounds but I’m addicted.  I’m going to get a perfect score on the newly released Halloween version if it kills me.  Which it probably will because the game is hard.

4.  After an abnormally balmy October, November is turning out to be the most perfect fall weather ever.  I love the smell of fall, the leaves changing, jackets, sweaters, gloves…it’s all so lovely and it makes cozy evenings at home that much cozier.  Speaking of home…

5.  More-O

I mean…sure, we may put the ‘function’ in dysfunctional but hot damn do I love this boy.  Let’s face it, it takes someone very special to put up with the dose of crazy that I give out every day and he sure is special.  If you ask me tomorrow I may have a different adjective to describe him, but at the moment on our cozy couch, he sure is loverly.  By the way, in the above picture I had maybe ONE sip from those giant beers because I was W-W-W-WASTED from the 10 beers for $7 we had partook in at the prior bar.  What can I say, Drag Queen Bingo is dangerous.  Also, I could barely drink anything because I had the HICCUPS!!  They wouldn’t go away and I was so scared that I was going to turn into that girl from Wisconsin who had them for like, years and now she’s in jail for murdering someone.  It was a real fear especially when I woke up this morning and I STILL had them.  Thank the LAWD I don’t have them anymore though – I was getting ready to murder someone! (I feel that Wisconsin girls’ pain)

6.  Back in October Hale and Hearty had this AMAZING Chicken and Corn Bisque that I would get almost every day.  It was SO GOOD.  I die.  Well sonofabitch that apparently was the ‘soup of the month’ and they don’t have it any more.  Major sad face.  I’m happy to report that the Cream of Tomato with Chicken and Orzo is equally as delightful.  Just as an FYI.

7.  Pink is releasing her ‘Greatest Hits’ so far and the album also includes three new songs.  I’ve heard two of them and all I have to say…

I wish Pink could release an album every week.  She has just gotten SO good over the years – her songwriting and melodic styles just get me every time.  Heart me some Pink.

8.  OPRAH is my world.

More-O and I DVR every episode and I love coming home after a long day and seeing what my girl Ofrah has to say.  I can’t believe this is the last season – whatever will we do without her?!?!
9.  Vampire Diaries – have you people seen this show?  Not only are there some of the hottest people on tv on it (hello Ian Somerhalder marry me now) but the stories done be RIL good.  I remember Page Six going on and on and on about this show last year and at the time I thought “I can’t do another show, I can’t do another Vampire Show, that’s for sure.”  Well I happily caught up on the first season and am now watching live – this show is the JAM!

10.  The last thing that I’m reeeally loving right now?

Pregnant Alanis.  She just looks so happy every time I see her, it makes ME happy to see her happy!  Sure, she’ll have the baby and that means we won’t have another album from her until who knows when but whatever.  Get yourself your baby girl.

It’s late and a thing that will make me very happy is going to bed very, very soon.  But things have been so busy at work I haven’t had a chance to blog and I miss you people.  Or rather, talking ‘at’ you…I mean, whatever, you know what I mean.  Get off my back.