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I Want to Be Your Friend March 28, 2011

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For the most part, I don’t like children.  Sure there are those kids that I adore – Cousin Tragedy’s children, Amanda and Annette’s children, More-O’s cousins…but give or take I think they are just snotty little brats.  I mean, case in point:


But every now and then there is a child so cool, so smooth, that you’re like ‘man, you’re rad.  Let’s be friends.’  I mean, would it be weird for me to be friends with a four-year old?

Kingston Rossdale.  Work.  It.  Bitch.  Look at that fur vest – fabulous.  And the Justice League of America shirt?  Amazing.  The combat boots?  Fiiiiiiiiierce.

So yeah, in the non-creepiest way ever I would like to be friends with Kingston Rossdale.  Is that so wrong?  Oh.  And Cruz Beckham can SUCK IT.

(Not) So Much To Say March 25, 2011

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A bunch of people lately have lamented on the fact that BriTunes 2.0 has turned into a mess of Bachelor recaps, Glee recaps, and days and days of not posting.  I totally get you guys and fondly remember the days when I used to post once, even twice a day.  I guess the biggest excuse I can give is that…I don’t got much to say!!!

I know, I know that sounds so stupid.  Because I ALWAYS have stuff to say!  I’m always going off about something or yakking about this or that.  But truly, when this is the main story on People.com…

You know life ain’t that exciting.  Some highlights:

*  More-O and I are (officially) celebrating one full year of dating this weekend.


One year of laughs and fun and attempting to not kill each other!  And they all said it wouldn’t last…

I got bored and grew a mustache for a week or so.  Some liked it, some called me pervy, I was pretty much indifferent.

Kaka Kido celebrated another St. Patrick’s Day birthday.

Though not thrilled about trying to fit into the “Luck O’ the Japanese” baseball T we bought four years ago, I’m always happy to hit the town with my girls.  Fun was had by all and though I didn’t drink any green beer, I drank enough ‘regular colored beer’ to make up for it.

US Weekly captured me acting bored at a dodgeball Open Play.

BB:  He’s Just Like Us!

SH@Z@M reunited at a birthday party a few weeks ago and debuted their new single:  “Into the Wild.”

Be on the lookout for their new album “We Have Risen” to be released some time around Easter.

More-O and I went skiing with his family in Vermont a few weeks ago.

Though I hadn’t been in quite some time, I had such a blast and was so much better than I remember being!  And I remember being GOOD.   Fun times were had by all.

Yet another edition of “Survivor” happened last week.  Due to the fact I made it quite far the previous Survivor I was deemed a “threat” and voted out quite early this time around.  Blindsided!  It’s fine.  Ben and I were fine with being voted out.  No really. We were fine with it.  So whatever.


In addition to the above events, I saw “Catch Me If You Can” on Broadway starring my boyfriend Aaron Tveit

It was just ‘meh.’  I’m much more excited to see “Priscilla Queen of the Desert” next week and “Book of Morman” at some point in the near future.

Spencer had a surprise birthday party last week.  He was surprised and it was fun.  The end.

My dodgeball team is currently 1st place in the league.  I’ve never been in first place before!!  Now granted it is only the second week and things probably (and by ‘probably’ I mean they will) change but for the moment…Yay!  First place!

I shall do my best to blog more and to not just talk about The Bachelor and Glee.  They’re fun to talk about though…

Happy Weekend!



I Want to Go to There March 21, 2011

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While surfing an entertainment website today, I noticed a banner up top advertising the Reality Rocks Expo.

On it, it detailed meeting reality stars from Top Chef, Survivor and…..

Ummmmmm…..are my eyes deceiving me?  Am I seeing this correctly?  I’ll be able to meet the stars from America’s Funniest Home Videos?  So basically what you’re saying is that if I pay some money to attend this expo, I will be able to meet my favorite people on the PLANET???!!!!  I’m very tempted to pony up some money and go, but only if the following people are there:

Puking Babies

Old people who fall down

Dad’s with crotches that attract baseball bats, golf clubs, and other assorted sports equipiment

Ladies whose hair catch on fire

Funny cats

People who jump out of boxes wearing masks and scare you

Best men who pass out at weddings

Zany Brides and or/Grooms

People who think they won the lottery but really it’s a fake lottery ticket


If, and only if, I can get a guarantee that all of these people will be there…then I will attend.  I expect a call from you very soon Tom Bergeron.

American Midol March 17, 2011

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I tried a new workout yesterday and even though I only did half of it, today it feels like I gave birth to a child.  Seriously.  If I have a newborn running around somewhere I would not be surprised.  Ouch.  Speaking of ouch…

American Idol.

I used to comment on this show a lot on BriTunes and though over the years I’ve continued to watch, my interest has waned a bit.  I like the new breath of life that Jennifer Lopez and Stephen Tyler have given to the show, but the contestants are still kinda ‘meh.’  Where are the Clarkson’s?  The Underwood’s?  The Jon Stevenseses?

I thought I would give a mini-rundown of my thoughts on season 10’s contestants and let you know just how much I can’t stand each and every one of them.

Lauren Alaina

I wish that microphone, in addition to covering her mouth, was muting her sound as well.  I don’t particularly care for Lauren.  Never have, probably never will.  We’ve already had a young cute country singer and her name was Kellie Pickler.

Casey Casey

I don’t know his last name.  Adams?  Abrams?  Anyway, he’s fine.  He tries new things.  His voice is acceptable.  He needs a shower.  But he’s aight.

Hailie Whatsherface

Is her name Hailie?  I couldn’t tell you.  But I actually like this girl even if she sings entire songs with lipstick on her teeth and face.  But Randy is right in that she needs to figure out what kind of artist she wants to be because if there’s one thing Idol can’t stand it is artists that try out different things!!!

Jacob Lusk

He makes me cry.  And not in a good way.

James Durbin

I liked this guy the first time around, when his name was Adam Lambert

Senorita Karen Conchita Rodriguez Gonzalez

Karen.  We get it.  You’re Spanish.  You were on MySpace.  You’re an ‘alien’ from outerspace.  I understand.  Now get off my TV.

Naima Adawhomp babba loo bop a whomp bam boo.

I get the sense she has something in common with Crystal Bowersox and it’s NOT the fact that they are both mothers and both have dreads.  I keep wanting more from Naima.  Mostly more notes in pitch.  I do like the risks she takes with songs though.  I can’t fault a contestant for trying new things!

Paul McDonald Had a Farm

I kinda just want to look at Paul, and don’t really feel like hearing his voice anymore.  Plus he looks like he’s having a seizure every time he sings.  He’s pretty, but he’s also pretty awful.

Scotty McCreary

I can sum up my thoughts on Scotty in one phrase:

“Baby close dem doors and turn the lights down low.”

Pauly D/Ronnie/Vinny Languini

More-O and I have liked Scars McGee since the beginning and I’m still not hatin’ on him in the competition.  He’s fine.  He has a good voice, and a nice style.  I could use a little flavor though.  Maybe he should start singing his songs in both English AND Spanish because no one has tried that before!  (Sit down Karen).

Hannah McGea/Thia Montana

I keep expecting more from this 15-year old and she continues to fail to bring it.  Great voice, great vocal quality but she is one massive snoooooozefest.

Pia Zadora

I love this girl.  Sure she’s as boring as a box of hair but she has the voice of an angel.  I’m going to be bold and say she has one of the top 5 voices I’ve ever heard on American Idol.  The range and the ease in which she sings is amazing.  Now if she could only find that pesky personality….

So that’s my two cents on this season of American Idol so far.  Ryan is still as queer as a three dollar bill, we all still miss Simon, and Ellen DeGeneres is still thanking her lucky stars she got out of there when she did.  The End!

Glee-Cap March 16, 2011

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It’s Regionals!!  Original songs!!! OmGLEE how excited are you?

Yeah.  I know.  Me too.  I honestly go into every episode like ‘okay, am I going to love this or am I going to hate this?’  We didn’t have any sexy mcSexy Pants G.Paltrow this week (thank God) so we knew, at the very least, that the songs had potential.  Four Warbler songs people.  FOUR.  Is it time for them to go away yet?  It’s starting to get a little “Where’s Waldo” for my taste.

I wasn’t hating their first song, “Misery,” but I was definitely forcing a smile.

Yes Kurt.  Like that.  Oh look!  He DOES have teeth!

Loved that Rachel prepared Finn for her new original song by warning him it was going to be ‘very sad.’

And I also loved that she followed up her smash hit “My Headband” with “Only Child.”

While I had some doubts about all this “original song” biznatch, I didn’t end up hating it as much as I thought I would.  You’ll see why later (ooohhh….wheting your appetite!)

Quinn wants to be Prom Queen.

Boring, setting up storylines, moving on.

This thing is back.

Which is ALMOST as bad as “You’re Havin’ My Babay.”  Seriously, a bird?  A parakeet at that?  And we’re supposed to care that it croaked?  No.  Birds are creepy.  Next!

Kurt though, is apparently SUUUUPER sad about the bird because he was SUUUPER attached to it and so he sang a SUUUUPER sad toothless version of “Blackbird…”

…which I kinda liked.  Shh.  Don’t tell anyone.

The version was SO good actually, it made Blaine fall in love with Kurt!!

That’s supposed to be him realizing he’s in love with Kurt, but to me he just looks constipated.

Ugh.  Are we really going forward with this Brittany/Santana/Lesbian storyline?


Sue is back and boy oh boy is she mad.  Why is she mad?  I….don’t really know actually.  But she’s apparently mad enough to put dirt in the girls’ lockers.

Brittany:  “I don’t even remember putting that in there!”

I mean……ah love her, but honestly Brittany is more Special Needs than Becky.

I love you Becky!!

And look – we all know I also love Santana.  She’s amazing.  She’s practically an extension of myself and I still want to be her when I grow up.  But her singing her original song “Trouty Mouth” to Sam was one of the greatest things I’ve seen in a WHILE.

Sam, I also love your trouty mouth, Guppy lips, etc.

So pretty.

Tina FINALLY got a chance to shine this episode.  I feel bad for Jenna Ushkowitz because she was one of the original five but the writers seriously have NO idea what to do with her character.  But this episode was different because we got to see her in a few big roles.  Like here, for instance.

Backing up Santana on piano with no lines or parts of the song to sing.  You GO, Tina!!

Puck’s song was funny.

But not THAT funny.

I said it wasn’t that funny, Lauren!  Now sit your big ass……heart….down.

More gay stuff….

More gay stuff…


You know, I could potentially be jealous of Chris Colfer for a lot of reasons.  Winning the Emmy, being on Glee, porcelin skin…but getting to make out with Darren Criss?  I mean…that shit just ain’t fair.

Mercedes’ “Hell to the No” original song was also pretty great.

Rhyming “Wheaties” with “diabetes?”  I mean, that’s genius song writing at its best.  And, as per usual, Tina got a great part in the song.

Standing by the piano in the back.  Just LOOK AT HER GO!

WHAT is she wearing though?

Speaking of outfits, I was loving Mr. Shue’s shirt in this song.  Props.

Did you hear Santana name check Alanis Morissette last night?

I KNEW I liked her for a reason.  Now when are they going to sing Alanis on Glee??!?!?!

Sue is mad at the Glee kids for something….still don’t know what…but I did love her just randomly throwing sticks at Mercedes.

Quinn yelled at Rachel over Finn…

And then Rachel cried and furiously tried to write a song…

And we moved on.

REGIONALS!!!!  The judges this time around included the Newsguy, Kathy Griffin, and Sister Mary Clarence, from Sister Act 2.

This show just gets better and better.

Oh.  Wait.  No it doesn’t.

Kurt and Blaine had the solos in the big Warblers number called “Candles” which wasn’t that great and kinda lame for a Regionals song.  It also included TONS of toothless shots.

The Warblers finished up with Pink’s “Raise Your Glass” which is an awesome song.

Unless it’s done by the Warblers.  Seriously.  Warbler overkill over here.  But the audience LOOOOOOOOVED IT.

I’ve never seen an audience freak out so much at a CHOIR COMPETITION.  Someone needs to teach their extras how to Chillax :::cough:::RyanMurphy:::cough:::

Rachel’s solo was good.  Meh.  Pretty.  Expected.

But what really added to it, for me, was the huge presence Tina gave as Rachel’s back-up.

So happy to see Tina shine!!

For New Directions’ other song (seriously why are there two songs?) they wrote a song about how it’s so fun to be a Loser!

And Kurt magically pulled out foam fingers from under his seat and passed them around.

Because that’s believable that a competition choir would help get the audience riled up…….

This is cute.

This is not.

Throwing “slushies” in the audience?  Cute.

The “Slushie” machine?


Kathy Griffin as “Sarah Palin” was a little overhyped.

But whatever.  She served her purpose.  Even if she did look like shit.

So of course the Glee kids won.  Obvi.  And they handed the trophy to their star player –


Sue punching that lady was just…

I mean…it was funny I guess…but it was just so weird and unexpected.  Like, random to the max.  Sue this whole episode was just so weird.

This this “bird” storyline STILL going on?

Sigh.  The bird died.  Let’s get over it KURT.

The group giving the “MVP” award to Rachel?


The group hug that followed?

Overkill.  I bet it was Mr. Shue’s idea.  He’s so pervy like that.

No Glee until April 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  No more Bachelor!!!!!  Whatever will I blog about?!?!!  I’m not about to start watching “One Tree Hill” (again).

Bachelor-Cap – Surprise!! March 15, 2011

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SURPRISE!!  Bet you didn’t think you’d see me again today, did you?  Yeah, all of my productivity has pretty much gone out the window, it’s fine.  The Bachelor has taken over my LIFE!  I couldn’t NOT recap the After the Final Rose special because, well, there were some surprises!  And by ‘surprises’ I mean ‘things we all knew and pretty much expected.’

Surprise #1:  Chris Harrison is lookin’ goooooood.

I don’t know if it’s his hair, or his tan, or his schnazzy “Mad Men”-esque tie, but Chris Harrison has been doin’ right by me lately.  Keep it up.


Surprise #2:  Spramptal doesn’t look awful.

She got rid of the feathers on her shoulder and is covering up the ladies.  Baby steps.


Surprise #3:  Chamalamadingdong is crying….again.

Seriously WHEN will it stop?  Think of the children Chantaaaal, think of the children.


Surprise #4:  Things are awkward between Chant-All laundreydetergent and Womack.

I mean, we saw that one coming, didn’t we?  But for him to say that he loved Emily from the start and that Chantallll ‘deserved’ to be there until the end?  Ouch.


Surprise #5:  Brad Womack has a small penis.

I mean….she didn’t come right out and say it…or even reference it….but a picture speaks a thousand words.


Surprise #6:  I will miss Skunktal.

Oh wait.  No I won’t.


Surprise #7:  Brad and Emily are ‘kinda’ together…but have gone through some rough times…but are still engaged…Brad thinks…

Listen – did I think everything was going to be hunky dory after the finale?  No.  But did I think they were going to flat out say on the show how rocky things were?  Nooo!!  Dramz!


Surprise #8:  Emily is a cold-hearted bitch.

She was giving Brad some shaaaaaaade on this reunion special.  He kept saying ‘I love you, I love you, I love you’ and she wasn’t havin’ any of it.  But something tells me that Brad is the one that messed up and she is just making him pay….on national television.   ‘atta girl.


Surprise #9:  Brad Womack has a teeee-eeemper.

“A little” according to Emily.  Whatever.  I got the sense over the course of the season that homeboy has some anger management issues.  You know the reason she’s not moving to Austin is because he’s been Bobby to her Whitney.  “I hit you because I love you Em!”

Surprise #10:  The Bachelor audience is filled with Pretty Princesses.

No comment needed.


Surprise #11:  Brad Womack can’t handle the truth.

Hence the reason why he beats his woman.  See?  It’s all making sense now.

For some reason Chris Harrison thought that Emily and Brad would LOVE to have a mini therapy session with past Bachelor’s and Bachelorette’s so that they could learn from their triumphs and failures.  This brought up a whole new series of surprises…

Surprise #12:  It is good to see Ryan and Trista again.

No.  No it is not.


Surprise # 13:  Molly is pretty.

No.  No she is not.


Surprise #14:  We are happy Ali is happy.

No.  No we are not.  Honestly.  That girl is faker than Emily’s tan.  Roberto is hot though – he can take off his shirt anytime.


Surprise #15:  Emily and Brad loved hearing advice from past Reality couples on National Television.

No.  No they did not.  Could those smiles BE any more forced?

Yes.  Yes they could.

So Brad and Em…who knows what will come of the two of you.  I had high hopes, but then you aired your dirty laundry on TV and now we all see the cracks so I dunno!!  Time will tell if Emily and Brad are true love but my fingers are crossed that they can last long enough so we can see the trainwreck that is their televised wedding.

Oh and Smashley as the new Bachelorette?

I can’t.

Bachelor-Cap: It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye To…. March 15, 2011

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This blog will tell you who won The Bachelor immediately.  I’m giving you ample time to leave….





…….did I give you enough time?

Okay, good.  Sorry guys but I’m super busy so all I can give you is:  Emily won.  Smashley is the new Bachelorette.  Okay, discuss.  Byeeee!

AH!  I’s just kidding.  Of COURSE I have to do a Bachelor recap for the final episode of THE MOST DRAMATIC SEASON OF THE BACHELOR EVER!!  Was it ever that dramatic?  I thought it was pretty tame as far as scandal goes.  The biggest scan-dal was that I was SPOILED before I even got to watch the episode.  I had dodgeball last night so I didn’t get to watch it live.  I stayed off Facebook and Twitter to avoid spoilers, and the first website I went to this morning was Hulu so I could get it out of the way.  I go to press play and what do I see?

I mean, come on man…REALLY?  Why you gotta go and punk me like that!  I was NOT a happy camper.

The episode starts and we’re still in Capetown, South Africa.  Brad, in the meantime, is still pensive.

There was SO much pensivity (is that a word?  My spellcheck seems to think NOT) in this episode I could barely stand it.  Pensive Pensive Pensive, everywhere you look.

Brad’s family came to visit him and meet the girls and he was SO happy to see them.  His massive forehead vein was happy to see them too.

That’s some Julia Roberts shit right thurr.

No but for SERIOUS Brad was happy to see his family.  Dude had to literally walk away to keep from sobbing.

Did you hear Brad has a twin brother?  He’s hot and has a great taste in shirts.

Spramptal, however, does not.

No one said ‘Toga Party” NiagraTals, sit down.  And it is seriously getting hard to think of funny ways to say “Chantal.”  “NiagraTals?’ That’s weak.  Thank God this is the last episode.

Brad’s family LOVED Chanatttttaaal.  LOVED.  They couldn’t get enough of her.  You can tell just by looking at their faces.

That’s Brad’s Sister-in-Law above.  Judging by her shirt she came to PART-AY.

The next day it was Emily’s turn to meet the family and she looked amazing as always.

Gorgeous.  OH!!!  And remember this scene from the preview weeks ago that I thought was Emily breaking Brad’s heart?

It wasn’t Emily!!! It was his SISTER-IN-LAW!!!!  Those Bachelor Bastards!!  Playing tricks on me!  Making me doubt my original prediction, how rude.

Hot Twin looked just as hot today and he was wearing….

Technicolor!  I knew I liked him for a reason.

Just look how cute Brad and Emily are together:

I mean, they just look perfect, don’t they?  I’m so happy they’ve found each other.  Wait – you mean that’s not Brad and Emily?  Those Bachelor Bastards are playing tricks on me again!

The family loved Em (obviously) and her story touched everyone deeply, especially sister-in-law who likes to party in Vegas.

“Hey bros, let’s go sit on a rock, drink some beers, and talk about feelings.”


Brad’s mom loved Emily so much it brought her to tears.

I feel the same way, Pam.  (I don’t know if that’s her name – I just feel like she’s a ‘Pam.’)

She told Brad that she thought Emily was the one for him but I really wasn’t listening because I couldn’t get past the gorgeousness of where they were.

Wine, a comfy couch, and crystal blue water – I’ve never been more jealous of Pam.


There’s not much more to say.

Sharktal’s boobs.

There’s not much more to say.

For their final night together, Brad wore his best T-shirt to impress Shamutal.

Shamu gave Brad the greatest present ever in an attempt to profess her love (again).  She drew him a map that showed all of the places they traveled together.

Well, together and with countless other girls….

She was very pleased with her gift.

“Yay!!  I made myself cry!!!”  You make me cry to, Shontellmeastory. (ugh)

Brad didn’t know how to feel about this present…so he was just pensive.

Dear Emily,

To me, you are perfect.

Brad and ‘Em’ had a great date, talked on some rocks (what is it with Brad and talking about feelings on rocks?) and then when it came time for their night date Brad again rocked an awesome Tshirt.

Emily kind of grilled him, saying that picking her and her kid wouldn’t be all fun and games.  I thought what she was saying was totally fair but Brad started to get MAD about it!!!  Emily was all

but seriously, she only said true things.  The only reason Brad was getting sweaty and parched was because he was thinking ‘ah hell, what did I get myself into?!’

The day of the final rose ceremony, everyone was RIL pensive including….

THE BACK TATTOO!!!!!!!!!!!  I am going to miss this glorious sight.

Pensive back tattoo.

Pensive Emily.  (bitch rolled out of bed looking like that.  You know she’s the type of girl to sleep in her makeup)

Pensive Shanktal.  (Even her boobs are pensive)

Pensive Emily. (girl WHAT are you wearing?)

Pensive palm trees.

Pensive phallic mountain.

Honestly, if I posted every pensive shot in this episode, this blog would go on for DAYS.

Neil Lane came and helped Brad pick out a ring…

and Brad like, TALKED HIS EAR OFF.  Brad, Neil Lane does not care about your feelings.  Where is your therapist when you need him?!  Now go be more pensive.

Ah!  Must…stop…with the pensive shots…



Everyone got all dolled up and Brad was looking goooo-ooood.

Emily, of course, looked like a princess.

Chris Harrison looked like he was half-assing it…

And Chantal looked like this:

(She’s about to have her heart broken, getting her name right is the least I can do).

I’m not even going to comment on what went down.  I will let you draw your own conclusions based on the following series of pictures:

I love this shot.

Brad in the background watching the limo drive away?  Epic.  Okay, back to the story.

With how much she cried in the season and with how in love with Brad she was, you KNOW homegirl was going to take it hard.  What can I say, Emily had his heart from day 1 and you, Shrimpandgrits-tal, were just getting in the way.  Now return to your loft, pack your things, and go home.

Yay Love!!!  Brad loves Emily!!!  Look how happy he was to see her:

The look of joy he had when she walked in the room was just magical.  So, so cute.  You can tell she loves him too.

I think everyone knows what happened next….

Yay love!!!  He was choking up when he was proposing with the NEIL LANE DIAMOND.  Did you hear that the diamonds (and therapy) were provided by NEIL LANE?!

Well if you don’t, you do now.  NEIL LANE!!

Honestly I got kinda teary while watching the end of this go down.  I have to say, as big of a cynic as I am I really think Brad and Emily will make it work.  If they made it through all of the obstacles they had doing this show, I think they’ll be one big, happy, blonde family.

Parting shot…

And it’s The End.  A Happy Ending had by all.  Well, except for the other 24 girls.

Thanks for following me on this Bachelor journey.  Thanks for the memories, the laughs, and the back tattoos.  Until next time my peeps!

Oh, and do you not remember this moment from the very first Bachelor blog post?

I CALLED this shit!

Things That Make Me Go :) March 11, 2011

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Oh my goodness there is some ca-raziness going on in the world today!!  Earthquakes, tsunamis, eeeeyikes!  So instead of focusing on all things scary, I choose instead to focus on the things in my day that make me smile.

Like this:

Awwwwww….it’s Alanis and Ever!!  Look how cute!

These two broke up.

I’m sorry.  I know it’s mean but I’m happy they are done.  I don’t like her and I always thought my precious Justin was too good for her ass.  Yeah Yeah, Jessica Biel’s deserve to be happy to but hopefully now we won’t have to look at her so much.

Raven Simone being this skinny SCREAMS ‘eating disorder.’  And WHAT is wrong with her legs?

And WHAT is wrong with Renee Zellwegger’s face?

And WHAT is wrong with Zac Efron?

Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  He’s rocking a sweater, which I love, he’s rocking jorts, which I love, and he MUST have known that I’m growing a mustache at the moment because he decided to join me in my quest for porn star perviness.  I want to go to there.

The last thing that makes me happy today is that Miss Britney’s new album leaked.

I haven’t had a chance to download it yet but…oh baby baby It’s Britney Bitch is back!!

Hope everyone has a good weekend – finale of the Bachelor on Monday!!!

Glee-Cap March 10, 2011

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Let me just preface this Glee-cap by saying…I love Glee.  I do!  In the good, in the bad, I can usually find some redeeming thing about the episode or a song I like, or whatever.  That being said…

This last episode was awwwwwwwwful.  Like, awwwwful.  Like, take a bath with the blender awful.  I don’t know if it was the songs, or the heavy Gwenyth focus or what but snooze.  Attack.

So yeah.  The celibacy club is back.

As is Holly Holiday.

Yeah, I feel the same way Gwenyth.  I really like Holly and I think she’s funny, but the problem is that everyone is like “Yay!  Gwenyth Paltrow!” and they focus the entire episode around her and just kaka up the rest of the plot points.  Making a sex education sub, however,

is kinda sorta funny.

Not that funny Shuester.  Sit down.

Will was all kinds of appropriate this episode.  Doing sexy dances, foregoing Regionals song selection so he can teach about sex, doing inappropriate things with Holly in dance class…

Things that make you go:

Holly’s attempt at teaching kids about sex was waaaay off.  First of all, she sang “Do You Wanna Touch?” saying that every sexual encounter begins with a touch?  I mean…while yes that is true it’s just kind of a dumb song to sing.  “Toucha Toucha Toucha Me” or “I Want Your Sex” both would have made more sense…even though they’ve already sang the Rocky Horror song it STILL would have made more sense than “Do you Wanna Touch.”

With the excessive hair flipping

and Gwenyth again borrowing from the ‘Will Shuester book of inappropriate teacher dances’

it was all just a bit

Did you forget Sue Sylvester is a part of this show?  Yeah, me too.

The writers didn’t though!!!  And made sure to include her in a pointless scene so as to remind us that they have an Emmy winner on their show.

Emma’s outfit was ril cute.

So the Warblers tried to be sexy?  I have a few problems with this scene.  First of all, the abandoned warehouse set was one part Paula Abdul’s “Cold Hearted Snake” video and one part Ant Farm.

Kurt trying to be sexy…I can’t.  And this?

I can’t.  Foam is not sexy.  It is messy.  And gross.  And reminds me of Cancun Spring Break which is NOT sexy.  Warbler Fail.

Brittany and Santana have lesbian drama

and Lauren and Puck are going to do a sex tape

and we’re moving on.

Toothless Wonder:  You give sexy a bad name.

Don’t do that face.  Ever.

Will and Holly doing the tango was just….

I mean…it was SO POINTLESS.  Will was practicing a tango that he was going to teach the kids and they were going to be sexy doing it?  I mean….I can’t with this show.  It was all just a ruse so that Will and Holly could do this:

Which we knew they were going to do the entire episode, it was just a matter of when.  They bore me.

What was not boring, in my opinion, was the performance of “Landslide.”

So yeah – Santana has feelings for Brittany but she can’t put them into words so she has to sing about it.  Understandable.  The performance, while very Gwenyth heavy, was BEAUTIFUL.  Great version.

Brittany apparently is modeling her shoulders after Lady Gaga –

What is that weird bump thing?

Santana acted the SHIT out of the song.

Honestly I think she’s my favorite character.  I know it always changes, but Santana has a special spot in my heart.

Remember Sam?

Yeah, he was in this episode too.  I just couldn’t go an entire Glee-cap without posting a picture of him.  Okay, I feel better.

Loved this scene –

And Rachel doing what she does best.

And I also loved when Santana bore her soul to Brittany

and cried!!  An actual tear!!  There’s a heart there afterall!

So So So So good.  But ‘good’ in the sense that it was well acted.

1.  I really liked Santana’s whole ‘bi-curious’ act but actually putting her in a lesbian relationship is just weird.  This show already has enough gay with the toothless wonder.
2.  Brittany?  Really?  I mean, she thought a stork building a nest on her roof meant she was preggo.  Santana needs someone smarter than that.
3.  And Brittany can’t be with her because of Artie?  ARTIE?  I rest my case.

Apparently these two are back together…

…which makes me sad.  Team Finchel for the win.

So Holly got fired as a sub because she’s totally pervy but before she goes of course Will has to give her something to remember him by.

Because if there’s one thing he knows about, it’s how to be pervy.

While this episode had redeemable qualities, it was probably one of my least favorite all season, if not of the whole series.  The Warblers are singing “Raise Your Glass” next week which has potential, but then the Glee kids are singing all original songs, including one called “Hell to the No.”

Aw hellll to the no.

I’m Kinda Bus-ay March 9, 2011

Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.
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Sorry gang!  I can’t get a Glee-cap

out today because I’m busy moderating phone interviews with this chick:

Hopefully tomorrow will be less busy….but I’m not sure you want to hear what I thought about the episode anyway….