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GLEE-CAP!!! December 21, 2011

Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.
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OMG….it’s a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!!

To what do my wander eyes may appear, but a Glee-cap and…eight tiny reindeer?  Wait, that’s not right.  But it’s completely beside the point because even though I haven’t been doing them this season and even though the show has been GAWD awful I got my act together for a Christmas Glee-Cap!

Can we all just agree that this episode was awful?  I’m happy Trouty Mouth is back, I’m happy that Santana has had lots to do this season but there is just so much FILLER that I’m like…snooooozefest.  The songs have been relatively lovely, however.   You know who is painful?

This lucky charm of a mothatrucka.  And to think I was dreading the dreaded kid from The Glee Project MORE than this one!  He sings the most boring songs ever, I can’t understand a word he says, and he has nothing to do.  Kind of like Artie.

This week they legit were like ‘eesh, we haven’t given Artie anything to do in episodes – we should really throw him a bone.  I know!  We’ll make him the DIRECTOR of the Christmas special!’  Glee.  We get it.  Artie is going to graduate high school and become a director.  Noted.  Now stop it.

Was I the only one creeped out by the relationship between Irish and Sam?

I mean, a “Christmas sponsor?”  That’s so gay.

But not as gay as this.

Or this.

And yes I mean ‘gay’ as in ‘that’s so stupid, gay.’  Joni Mitchell’s “River” is one of my favorite Christmas songs and then Lea had to go and muck it up with her awful faces.  Oh, and in case you’ve ever wanted to see a close up of Lea Michele’s ear…

There you go.  Don’t say I never give you anything.

My Darren Criss can still do no wrong, even in a song that has a chorus of “it’s a very very merry merry extraordinary Christmas.”

The song makes me feel like this:

I really appreciate that, during Artie’s Star Wars Christmas, a shout-out was given to Breadstix.

Because let’s be honest – nothing says ‘Star Wars’ and really nothing says ‘Christmas’ quite like Breadstix.  It deserves all the shout-outs it gets.

My boyfriend is extra cute in Black and White.

Too bad that toothless gay elf has to stand next to him.  Blarg.

Rachel and Mercedes were cracking me up in the ’60’s part of the episode.  And despite Rachel’s awful hair, they both looked great too.

Oh Lea..

…sometimes I like you a lot.

Oh Darren…

…sometimes I love you always.

“My Favorite Things” was super cute, but this screen grab is not.

It looks like they’re all grabbing her boobs and she is DIGGIN it.

I can’t.

Hey, did you guys know that Cory Montieth plays the drums and that old guy on Glee plays the guitar?

Well if you didn’t, there’s further confirmation that yes, in fact, they do do these things (he he, I said ‘do-do).

The best part of the whole Christmas special was Brittany and the girls with the scarves.

And the worst part?

Seriously – WHAT is coming out of this kid’s mouth?  I don’t understand a WORD he says!

I was really (no, really) confused about the whole Sam/Quinn/Sue/homeless people plot.  You’re telling me that Mr. Shue would seriously allow the kids to do a Christmas special over charity work?  What?  Mr. Morality himself?!  And speaking of the devil, where the hell was he this episode?  I mean, I know Matt Morrison was directing the episode but you’re telling me that the teacher, who is ALWAYS around, is just going to disappear for an episode and we’re not going to acknowledge it?!  It makes me just want to go serve some meatballs!

Yeah, I don’t know either.

Oh hell to the no.

And where is Idina?  Did I miss something?

It’s a holiday episode, so therefore the villian has to learn a lesson.

Snooze.

“Do They Know It’s Christmas” was lovely, but Sam was doing this one thing that was annoying the hell out of me.  He had this like, hat, or a rag or something and he kept bopping the kids over the head with it.  During the song!

Talk about pulling focus.  I was just like…’will you STOP it Trouty Mouth?  Now come over here and kiss me!”

Speaking of Trouty Mouth kissing people…

Word on the street is that he’s going to be the Leprechaun’s “Valentine’s Day Sponsor” now.  And I’m not even making a gay joke, that actually happened on the episode.  Yes, I know.

My favorite thing is that the best performance, the best part of the whole episode was CUT OUT OF THE ACTUAL SHOW!  It was, of course, my lover Santana singing “Santa Baby” in a jewlery store.

She looks so 1980’s, I’m dying.

Love her, she is perfect.

Other things happened this epsiode but honestly, we don’t care about them.  We don’t care about the moral, hell, we barely care about the show itself!  But if there’s one thing we’ll always be sure of it, it’s that Glee is the gift that keeps on giving….headaches, eye rolls and, probably crabs.

Merry Christmas Glee!(ks)

Been a While.. December 12, 2011

Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.
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As I was sitting here preparing to write my first post in over two months (two months??!!!) I cracked my knuckles in anticipation.  I feel like, after being gone for so long, that my first post back would have to be something moving, something profound, something that will entertain everyone.  And I gotta tell you…I got nothin.’

Sure, we could talk about my awesome Slutty Crayon outfit that I wore on Halloween but I mean…Halloween was like five years ago.

Do we talk about my birthday and how I was thrown an amazing 30th Birthday party?  I mean…I could but I feel like everyone is sick of talking about my bday and no one more so than myself.

So instead of posting fun pictures or giving you some organized and well formatted blog post…I’m just going to stream of consciousness instead.  The reasons for this are twofold:

1) I’m far too lazy/busy at work to actually think/be witty.
2) There is a much higher chance I’ll actually finish this blog post if I don’t have a format.  Trust me, it’s better this way.
So let’s talk.

*It’s the holidays.  Whoopee.  For whatever reason, I haven’t really been in the Christmas spirit this year.  I feel like the holidays have a certain ‘something’ when you’re with someone and being single has just made this season feel a little different.  Not bad different, by any means, I’m just having a hard time getting into it.  And by ‘it’ I mean ‘goodwill towards men’ and all that crap.  I haven’t even made my Christmas cd yet!  That bitch has been a tradition since 2002, I really need to get on it…

*I miss Oprah’s LifeClass.  If this magnificent show has not made its way into your life, you’re really missing out.  It’s basically an hour of Oprah sitting on her couch and telling you her life lessons and showing old clips and…ugh.  It’s amazeballs.  And it has been in repeats since November which DEVASTATES me.  Oprah’s LifeClass, please come back to me.

*I’ve been craving chocolate lately.  I never eat chocolate but for some reason in the afternoons I can’t get enough of it.  In unrelated news, I think I’m pregnant.

*I’m obsessed OBSESSED with this song lately.  Love the version, love the performance, love it all.  But seriously?  There are 15 kids in the Glee club right now?  WTF.

*I watch Friends repeats every night.  I haven’t even watch Gossip Girl from last week because I watch about five episodes of Friends a night.  The worst part?  It’s on NICK AT NITE.  When I was a kid the shows on Nick At Nite were like…Dragnet.  But Friends?  No.  Friends is middle school.  Friends is High School.  I can’t handle this.

*You know what bugs me?  When the girl who sits next you sniffling and sneezing the entire day but the one time you sneeze she doesn’t even say ‘bless you.’  RUDE.

*I love:  New Girl, Happy Endings, Revenge.  I quit:  Once Upon a Time, Pan Am, Secret Circle.  I wish I could quit you:  Desperate Housewives, The Real World, 90210.  So bad it’s good:  Glee, Top Model, Gossip Girl.

*Bad Romance doesn’t get old.  I’m sorry, it just doesn’t.

So listen.  I promise to be a better blogger.  I don’t know that I’ll get back to my former Glee-Cap/Bachelor recap glory (Josh Groban as the Bachelor, I mean, can we talk?) but I will make a more concerted effort.  Because as much as you miss me, I miss you all the more.