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Bachelor-Cap February 21, 2012

Posted by britunes2 in Uncategorized.
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Kacie B, I know you’re probably hurting right now but let me just say ‘thank you’ for all of the joy you’ve brought to my life this week.  Your breakdown at the end of this episode…sigh…I mean we’ll get to it but I had to express my gratitude before I burst.

And by ‘Alligators’ you mean ‘contestants on The Bachelor,’ right?  See that up there?  “Lindzeeeee’s Hometown?”  Oh yeah, you know what that means…HOMETOWN DATES!!!!!  The most tragic dates of the year!  I feel like it’s Christmas morning.

So yes, first up was Lindzee.  This girl and her damn obsession with horses.

WE GET IT!!!  YOU LIKE HORSES!!  Now stop beating us over the head with it!!  Or the mane, if you will.

Well of course this girl wouldn’t go by car, train or helicopter.  Horse it is!!  I wonder what PETA would have to say about this. 

And I wonder what America’s Next Top Model would have to say about that.  Eek!

Ben had many great shirts this episode starting with this one, which I think I own.

The man’s got good taste in many things!  Women, not being one of those things.

Lindzee’s parents pretty much JUMPED on Ben the minute he got there.  He wasn’t even off the horse yet before her dad was all ‘how about some wine?!  I’ve got a great Chardonnay chilling right over here!’ 

Calm down there buddy.  Let’s not put the cart before the horse (horse pun).

Yes, I know it’s funny.  Sit down. 

After downing a glass of wine, Lindzeeeee’s father suggested they participate in an age-old family tradition:  buggy races.

I think I may see where Lindzeeee gets her horse obsession from. 

Lindzee’s mom sure did bring the Pretty Party this week.

Yes girl, get it!

I have to say, I didn’t think much about Lindzeeee and Ben’s relationship until this episode.  I think they may have a shot, but Lindz reeeeally needed to stop introducing Ben as ‘my boyfriend.’  Me thinks she might be living in a land I call ‘delusion.’  As it is though, cheers to her.

She’s gone from ‘who?’ to ‘meet my boyfriend!!!!!’  Might we have a dark horse in our midst?  (Yay horse puns).

Oh Gawd.

This one again. 

Kacie B. was SO excited to see Ben, I honestly thought she was going to pee herself.  Legit.  She was like, making all these squeals and grunts while hugging him.  It made me ril uncomfortable.

Almost as uncomfortable as her hair.

Really?  You can’t get it together more than that? 

I have to say folks, until this week I thought Kacie B. was in it to win it.  I truly thought we would be seeing her in the finale but the minute Ben met her folks

I knew she was a goner.

What also throws me for a loop?  Kacie B.’s sister can get her hair’s act together

But Kacie B. still looks like this.

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOUR HAIR??!!!

Let me save ya’ll a bunch of time and sum up the rest of Ben’s visit in a few pictures.

Can’t ya just feel the awkwardness from here?  Oof!!

From the church that is Kacie B’s family we move on to this girl.

Name:  unknown.

First stop?  Well, we’re Texas so you know what that means…

BEN NEEDS A PAIR OF COWBOY BOOTS!!!! Jane Doe is so predictable.

What I don’t get, however is this sparkly shirt.

This is not Vegas, sweetie.  Put AWAY the sparkly shirt.

Whatshername’s family was much more receptive than Kacie B’s family, however.  I appreciate how the hot brother had to sit between divorced mom and dad on the sofa.

Did you hear that Who’s That Girl is divorced AS WELL?  The track record is not looking good for dear ol’ Benjamin.

GIRL TALK!!!

End of Girl Talk.

Emotional Dad Talk!!!

End of Emotional Dad Talk.

Hot Brother!!

End of Hot Brother.

Kissing on my mom’s bed!!!

End of Kissing on Mom’s Bed.

And there you have, in a nutshell, whosawhatshername’s date!!!!  Yayyyy!!! 

I hate what I’m about to say.  And I’m only gonna say it once so take it all in….

Crazy Courtney looks pretty.

I mean, sure, the eyebrows are still out of control, but she looks good!  Almost as good as…..

…BEN’S AMAZING BUTTON DOWN!!

Me want.  Me want now.

Courtney’s Dad was a little schmaltzy.  He reminded me of a used car salesman.

Digging the Argyle, though.

Courtney’s mom, on the otherhand….I was not digging.

PRETTY PARTY!!!!! (did you notice how the dad and the mom matched their ‘orange’ themed outfits?  They so fancy!)

Tell me something:

Is that a giant poster of Courtney in the upper right hand of this photo?  Something tells me that this family has a shrine dedicated to Court Court somewhere….

Courtney’s mom, bringing more of the amazing.

I think I know where Courtney got her amazing brows from….

Every other season or so, one girl comes up with the AMAZING idea to do a fake wedding with The Bachelor.  Ladies, THIS WILL NOT HELP YOU ANY CLOSER TO YOUR GOAL!!!  Making him write his own vows…

Having a minister…

Placing the ring on the finger…

This is not cute.  It is creepy.

My favorite, favorite, FAVORITE thing with the vows though, were Courtney’s.

She legit, straight up, word for word, QUOTED SEX AND THE CITY!!!!!!!!!!!!  You know in the finale when Carrie’s with Petrofsky and she’s like “I want real, out of control, can’t live without each other kind of love.  And I don’t think that love is here, in this gorgeous hotel room, in Paris.”  Courtney hocked a Carrie Bradshaw speech!  Part of that makes me hate her…and part of it makes me love her just a little more.

After all of the dates, Ben had a sit down with hottie mc hottie Chris Harrison

which I fast forwarded though.  Snoozefest, if you ask me.  I did pause long enough to pay my respects to the ‘Creepy Lady Shrine,’ however.

What, were short dresses half off at Bebe, or something?

Lindzee got the first rose, Crazy Courtney the second rose, and the third rose went to whatsherbutt.  That meant the brow of fury was headed home.

But not before she had a tearful ‘smile’ farewll with Ben

and then one of the greatest backseat breakdowns EVER!!!!!!  I don’t even want to speak for fear that I’ll ruin it.  But please, take each of these pictures in and savor them.

Ooh, her dad gon’ be PISSED!!!!!!!

Next week everyone travels to Switzerland, some girl comes back (betchu it’s KACIE B!) and Ben wears this adorable bow tie.

See you then!!

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Comments»

1. Becky - February 23, 2012

Thank you for capturing this episode perfectly! The hair – the scary mom – the SATC quote stealing (I was dying!) and of course the breakdown. How good is this show!?


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